The holiday season has officially begun, and if you’re suffering loss of any kind – especially the loss of being divorced – you’re probably wincing in pain at the thought of it all. The office parties, family gatherings and other celebrations only serve as a reminder of your loss and can easily leave you feeling lonely, jealous, depressed and angry. But, allow me to offer you a way to turn this around. It’s not your typical advice for sure, but... Read more
When I encounter someone who is making their way through the first several months or so of being separated or divorced, I give them a pass on everything and I take nothing personally. The emotional roller coaster she is on means she will say things she doesn’t mean, she will cry at the drop of a hat, she won’t return phone calls in a timely manner and she will be rather unreliable. The tidal waves of anger, resentment, shock, and... Read more
The recent Synod on the Family in Rome has brought major attention to the problems Catholic families face today, one of those being the incredible lack of formation of engaged couples and their preparation for married life. While I’ll leave the finger-pointing and blaming to others, I can certainly step forward and say there are certain things I wish someone had told me before I ever got married. Things that would have helped me better understand what marriage is really... Read more
The Synod on the Family is now behind us and the final document complete with the majority of Synod Fathers agreeing to uphold the timeless truths of our doctrines. Cardinal Pell described it, saying there were “No doctrinal developments, no doctrinal surprises, no doctrinal backflips. No changes in praxis or discipline…” This may upset some people who were holding out hope that Cardinal Casper of Germany would sway Pope Francis’ decision in favor of changing Church teaching and allowing divorced... Read more
To dare to be married these days is practically an heroic act. Marriage is under attack from all sides and when the going gets tough, not all families make it. The French poet, Charles Peguy pegged it when he said, “Everything in the modern world… is organized against that fool, that imprudent, daring fool,… against the unruly, audacious man who is daring enough to have a wife and family, against the man who dares to found a family.” We can... Read more
One of the most common complaints I hear on a regular basis begins with the phrase, “The Church isn’t doing enough for…” and you can fill in the blank a million ways. The Church isn’t doing enough for engaged couples preparing for marriage. The Church isn’t doing enough for the poor. The Church isn’t doing enough for married couples who are struggling, and of course, the one I hear the most is, “The Church isn’t doing enough for divorced Catholics.”... Read more
“What is your marital status?” “Wait, what?” I was opening a savings account, for Pete’s sake! What in the world did my marital status have to do with that? Why did the bank need to know? I knew I was over-reacting to a standard business practice, but I hated having to admit this terrible and very personal thing that happened to me to total strangers. To this young banking associate, it was a simple question that required a simple answer.... Read more
Today began like any other ordinary day, but somewhere amid the whirl of homeschooling, music lessons, kids sports, laundry and keeping tabs on the events of the Extraordinary Synod in Rome I got news that my cousin had passed away. The news hit me hard, but not for the reason you might expect. I will mourn my cousin’s untimely death with the rest of my family, of course, but I grieve for the relationship we had that was cut short... Read more
Three words… Charleston, South Carolina. I live just a few miles away, and suffice it to say there have been a series of heart-breaking events taking place here since that fateful day in June when an angry 21-year-old entered a church with a gun and killed 9 people attending a bible-study. All of us were left to struggle with the question, “How could a tragedy like this happen to good people who were doing the right thing?” This week, we’ve... Read more
In 2006, I began working on a project that I hoped would have a significant effect on the lives of divorced Catholics. In 2009, this project became the Voices of Hope video presentation and it highlights 35 Catholic men and women who had been through a divorce and very candidly shared their stories of the challenges and triumphs they faced as they struggled to rebuild their lives and be happy again. Sometimes, I think the one most affected by this... Read more
Lisa Duffy: A Million Unheard Souls
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