“When you talk about seeing stuff on the internet, is it about transsexuals like we saw on the Tyra Banks show that one time?”
I wasn’t sure when I had ever seen him this uncomfortable, but he had always been such a terrible liar, I think he knew it would be pointless to try and dodge the question.
“Um, yeah. Actually that is what I am talking about. I try to stay away from it, but eventually after a few months I find myself reading about them again.”
I felt sort of bewildered.
“Wait, so you aren’t looking at porn on the internet?” I asked.
He looked confused.
“What? No! I mean, I’ve come across porn before, but only a couple times, I never look for it. I read about transsexuals, like their stories and their treatments, and their journeys through transition.”
He fidgeted in his seat, looking down at piece of paper he was slowly shredding in his hands. I felt silly over my long time assumption that he had a porn problem, and confused by the new term.
“What is transition?” I asked.
He looked at me cautiously.
“Well, a transsexual feels like they do not belong in the body they were born in, and sometimes they start to live life as the opposite gender, that’s called gender transition.”
My heart was pounding in my ears, but I plowed ahead.
“Why are you so interested in transsexuals? Is it because you wish you could be with a transsexual? Or because you wish you were one?”