Worthwhile Reads: Virginity and Creating a New Moral

Same ol’ Story, on Sarah Over The Moon

“Once upon a time, there was a girl who was pure, virtuous, an angel in a white dress, and most importantly, a virgin. Then, one day, she met a boy and fell in love. Although the girl was committed to remaining pure, the boy kept pressuring her for more than she was willing to give. Using lies and manipulation, he convinced her to come into his bed. The girl feels dirty and worthless. Her purity gone. But then she begs Jesus for forgiveness from her sin. She no longer has her virginity, but once she is forgiven she can be pure in God’s eyes again.”

You’ve heard this story before. It’s far from original. Our society, and especially Christian culture, loves this narrative. It’s on sitcoms, and in sermons, and in abstinence-only curriculum. We hear it from our mothers and from our friends. And many of us have lived it.

This story needs a new moral. One about what consent looks like and what healthy, consensual sex is. One about holding abusers accountable and about assuring victims that they do not need to feel at fault. One where goodness does not equal virginity. Where women are complex, sexual human beings who can have a sex drive (unless they are one of the 1 in 100 adults who are asexual) and still say “No,” rather than glowing angels of light who would never even dream of wanting sex.

Trust me, my daughter will learn this story with a new and different moral. From me, at least. Unfortunately, I can’t change what society will tell her.

 

Can You Believe Premarital Sex Is a Sin without Stigmatizing Unwed Motherhood?
"Terrifying" Josh Duggar Porn Star Allegations Reveal the Depravity of Evangelicals' Sexual Ethic
Breaking: Leadership of Josh Duggar's Treatment Center Allegedly Involved in Sex Abuse Coverup
Josh Duggar Sent to Long-Term Treatment Center
About Libby Anne

Libby Anne grew up in a large evangelical homeschool family highly involved in the Christian Right. College turned her world upside down, and she is today an atheist, a feminist, and a progressive. She blogs about leaving religion, her experience with the Christian Patriarchy and Quiverfull movements, the detrimental effects of the "purity culture," the contradictions of conservative politics, and the importance of feminism.


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