This is the second time in a couple of days…

I’ve heard of David Icke(sp?). The first was from some guy on FB who informed me that DC, London and the Vatican were all part of a Vast Conspiracy.

I love vast conspiracy theories.

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  • Aren’t all conspiracies vast? 😉

  • Wait! You mean to suggest Al Gore, the Royal Family and Brangelina are not Satan worshipping, blood drinking, shape shifting, reptoid illuminati?

    I bet John C Wright could turn this into a great series. In fact, we would have to -pay him money not to.

    • Been done, twice. It was called “V”. Cancelled. Twice.

      • Mark Shea


  • Elaine S.

    I thought it was Church’s Fried Chicken (not KFC) that was once alleged by urban legend to have a connection with the KKK — which is particularly ironic as the Church’s chain tended to located in black neighborhoods and had a high proportion of black franchise owners.

    • DTMcCameron

      ‘s what makes it all the more nefarious!

      • “General’s Fried Chicken,
        “It’s butt kickin…

    • Elaine

      I am so glad that Popeye’s isn’t caught up in that mess!

  • Julie

    “I love vast conspiracies.” That line made me laugh!

    • Julie

      “I love vast conspiracy theories.” That line made me laugh! There.

  • A conspiracy can be two or more people.

    My computer crashed twice at the same point in the video. It must be a conspiracy.

    (“The Nazis had UFOS”? So they used flying objects even THEY could not identify?

    • DTMcCameron

      Impossible to pronounce acronym? FLDSMDFR?

      Or maybe it was
      “Goot werk Hanz! Vat iz dat ding der?
      “It’z, ahm…vell…I don’t know. But surely it fliez and iz most definately an object.”

  • ds

    The fact that Mark claims to have “just heard of this” obviously means he’s in on it. By what authority? SPACE ALIEN LIZARDS.

  • “It’s a well known fact, Sonny Jim, that there’s a secret society of the five wealthiest people in the world, known as The Pentavirate, who run everything in the world, including the newspapers, and meet tri-annually at a secret country mansion in Colorado, known as The Meadows.

    So, who’s in this Pentavirate?

    The Queen, The Vatican, The Gettys, The Rothschilds, *and* Colonel Sanders before he went tits up. Oh, I hated the Colonel with is wee *beady* eyes, and that smug look on his face. “Oh, you’re gonna buy my chicken! Ohhhhh!”

    Dad, how can you hate “The Colonel”?

    Because he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes ya crave it fortnightly, smartass!”

  • Elaine

    It’s pronounced “Ike” and spelled “Icke.” I think he probably has the most bizarre conspiracy theory ever, and that probably explains why people seem to have heard of him. Another one that should have made the list was the guy who believes that most historical figures and fictional characters are mushrooms, including Jesus. One of his examples was Santa Claus, because he is round, and red and white, therefore the idea of Santa came from mushroom worship. Personally I think the only one worshipping mushrooms was the man who came up with that theory.

  • Ed Pie

    Conspiracies? No: there is only one Conspiracy.
    And those things on the ends of your shoelaces? They’re called aglets, and you don’t want to ask what their nefarious purpose is.

    • Ah, that explains why-
      The Amish eschew aglets.

      • DTMcCameron

        They seriously do? Or don’t? Is it just…velcro straps for them, then? Zippers? I can’t imagine slip on loafers being terribly useful on a farm.

        • Ted Seeber

          Buckles. I grew up not around Amish, but around German Apostolic Christians, who share the same Menonite Theology.

  • Amy

    It’s obvious these wild conspiracy theories are perpetuated (if not begun) by the people who really do control everything though a vast conspiracy. Now, whenever anyone realizes what they are doing, the whistle-blower gets discredited by grouping him in with people like Icke.

  • Mark Windsor

    A certain part of the universe now makes a good bit more sense, knowing that Angelina Jolie is a shape shifting reptilian.

  • Kirt Higdon

    Check out Angelina in the movie Beowulf. All the proof you need and in 3-D.

  • David Ickes, eh?
    That would be the guy that thinks the Church is run by lizardroid mini0ns.
    He’s watched too much “V” back in the 1980s.

  • ChrisKABA

    Not only was the list awesome, so was the Monty Python reference at 2:44