Some words of wisdom for a Monday

Listen, if you’re ever at a wedding at, say, a barn in a beautiful vineyard (for example), and you’re walking down the concrete stairs wearing shoes that look like this:

It’s very important that you hold the rail. Don’t be all Look at me, I can walk down these stairs without holding the rail! Because what might happen (and this is totally hypothetical) is your right foot might come down just a little off on the fourth to bottom stair, which might send you propelling head first toward the bottom of the stairs. And you might find yourself lying with your head on the ground and your legs in the air. Then you might think two significant thoughts: 1) Did anybody see me? And then 2) It’s really bad to hit your head on the concrete.

Your darling little blue dress might not hide much when you’re lying at a 45 degree angle so it’s important to stand up if you can and survey the damage. When you realize that besides the strawberry welt/knot on your forehead, the shoe-related heel and ankle bruises, the shoulder wound and the long I-will-never-be-allowed-to-forget-this-because-there’s-no-doubt-it-will-scar shin scratch, you will think, Thank you Lord that I didn’t really hurt myself. (Falling head first on concrete steps could have resulted in worse things than shin scars.) Then you’ll think, I need to find my husband so he’ll feel sorry for me.

Not that I’m admitting this actually happened to me. This is purely hypothetical. It’s not that I’d be so pathetically sore that I’d be unable to think of anything else meaningful to write about on a Monday morning.

What I’m trying to say is, Always hold the rail! Especially if 1) You’re wearing super cute shoes and 2) The stairs are concrete.

I’m off to take some Advil.

Love,

Micha

  • Drey

    Stupendous Micha! I am here just cracking up with laughter. Wow. Falls can be so embarrassing immediately and painful afterwards. Yes, go take your Advil. Hope you feel better soon.

  • http://www.stillforming.com Christianne

    Oh no! That sounds awful. I mean, hypothetically awful, of course.

    So glad you didn’t receive worse wounds — though I must say, the damage you did sustain sounds pretty hard!

  • Jeannie

    Is this “On Falling in Ministry” a followup to Friday’s post “On Failing in Ministry”? I look forward to “On Flailing in Ministry” and “On Fainting in Ministry” …

    Seriously, I do sympathize. I had an “epic fall” at home a few months ago, sprained one ankle, scraped the other shin, smashed my forehead on the corner of 2 walls. My screams of pain made my son laugh. Actually, I wish you hadn’t reminded me… anyway I hope you feel much better soon!!

  • http://www.emmlyjane.com Emmly Jane

    Isn’t it horrible what we can do to ourselves?
    My non-hypothetical sister had a similar hypothetical experience. When her unfaithful husband filed for divorce, she got all dressed up for the hearing to show him what he was losing. She came down the tiled stairs of the courthouse and, only by the grace of God, managed to land on her rump. Unfortunately, her guardian angel, busy protecting her from bodily injuries, inadvertently missed grabbing the ruffle at the bottom of my sister’s skirt. Said skirt was beautifully draped up and over her head showing the non-typical ungarments worn that day to make herself feel pretty.
    Good thing this is all hypothetical or I would feel horrible sharing such a story on the internet (sorry, Sis!)

  • http://www.thementoredlife.com Debby Bellingham

    HA! I’ve never had such hypothetical situations. But I will remember to hold the rail.

  • Mark Allman

    The hypothetical incident that I remember; hypothetical mind you is when I had the safety department for my company reporting to me. We decided to give away a knife as a safety prize. Right I did say knife. Least you think we were totally stupid the knife we gave away was a knife that had a locking blade to replace the knives our employees were bringing from home to use at work. We wanted to make sure we did not have any blades folding up on people unexpectantly. Needless to say and I do not really want to enumerate how many injuries we had with people “trying out the knife”. The worst hypothetical thing in my mind that could have happened would have been for the person responsible for the safety department to have the knife open playing with it and to drop said knife and then attempt to catch knife as it was falling to the floor where if it had fallen would have been fine. No harm no foul. But said person was quick and snatched the open blade knife right out of it’s free fall and said person stabbed oneself in the stomach. The said person left the facility to seek treatment on his own and to discard the bloody clothes that were hidden inside his jacket for which he was thankful for that the weather was jacket weather. Hypothetically of course. No one knows about this unless they happen across this and then I will get hypothetically called to the carpet where I wish the knife would have fallen out of my reach.

  • http://www.margaretfeinberg.com Margaret

    glad you’re okay! Ha–the shoe shot reminded me of Cinderella’s glass slipper…but a more hardy (and much more functional) version

  • http://mcvessels.blogspot.com Stacie McIntosh

    I am such a lurker and this is my first comment. I know, it should have come sooner, because I *really* follow you because of your depth–this is what first drew me to your blog as I stumbled upon mama monk wisdom of mothering through monkish influence. But, I have not left your blog because of the depth that goes beyond your deep and meaningful words and thoughts–it is the depth of reality. Thank you for being real, as real as we can be in the virtual world. I love your blog and I oh.so.laughed at this today. (Because haven’t we all had this moment??)

  • http://drgtjustwondering.blogspot.com Diana Trautwein

    Oh, ouch. Surely do hope this hypothetical accident isn’t causing any hypothetical problems beyond the pesky ones. Yeah, imagine this scenario: at your grandson’s high school graduation gathering, camera in hand to grab a few perfect photo opps, turn around on the raised patio YOU HAVE JUST STEPPED UP ONTO and immediately forget it’s one step up. Sprawl in a very unladylike fashion in the garden plot, camera flying through the air about 15 feet and landing hard enough to break the focusing ring on the lens, requiring $150 and six weeks in repair. Plus a whole series of very unsightly body bruises up and down the left side of your body because you’re on a stupid blood thinning medication. (‘stupid’ here used as an epithet only as said medication does keep you alive). Yeah, I got the picture. Only too painfully well. Oy vey.

  • michaboyett

    Thanks for all the love and sympathy! I especially loved hearing all your hypothetical, tragic falling stories. (Even if they were about your sister.) You guys are the best. (I think I’ll make it.)

  • http://barefooton45th.com Lesley

    Oh, Micha. I can relate to you so much. I fell last week while running- HARD- and I cracked a rib. Still feels like my whole body was in a car crash or something. Keep taking the Advil. Also, Target has lots of cute flats right now. Just a thought. :)

  • http://www.kyndrasteinmann.com Kyndra

    Oh yes, falling is so easy and often so embarrassing. On the other hand the ability to laugh at ourselves is an important skill and one that we may need more practice with from time to time- perhaps falling provides opportunities for practice?…K

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