Ali Family Autism Truths #26 – What We Are Afraid to Say Out Loud

D swinging with all his might.

April 26, 2015 - Autism Awareness Month, Autism Truths #26Sometimes it all feels so fragile -- life held together by bits of tape and pieces of string, with prayers and promises. The slightest quiver in the universe and it all falls apart, despite all our planning, all our praying, all our hopes for the future. We can try and secure the future for our loved ones as best as possible. We can try and keep them safe. But nothing is in our control.Last night our family went in different … [Read more...]

Ali Family Autism Truths #25 – The Right of Choice


April 25, 2015, Autism Awareness Month, Autism Truths #25D brought his iPad to me just a few minutes back to request something to eat. We discovered something new with his ability to make choices a few weeks ago when he requested chips off his iPad - that all chips are not the same.A few weeks back, he pressed the button for "I want" and then pressed "chips," saying kippa to us (his verbal approximation of the word, chips). But when I presented him with a snack-size packet of Lays potato … [Read more...]

Ali Family Autism Truths #24 – Present with Each Other

family dinner_resized

April 24, 2015 - Autism Awareness Month, Autism Truths #24It's time to write this post, and so I ask my family tonight what I should write. The husband says - let's all give our perspectives tonight, and you write them down.But before we can wax eloquently on #autismtruths, D pulls H to the sofa for a tickle fight. Dadima (their paternal grandmother) is sitting at the edge of the sofa, reading her evening Quran, and the H gets buried by his brother, who lifts his shirt up and goes for … [Read more...]

Ali Family Autism Truths #23 – What is God’s Truth in All This?


April 23, 2015 -- Autism Awareness Month, Autism Truths #23It seems like we are always living waiting for the other shoe to drop. Even when things are relatively smooth and good, we wait, wondering when it will all fall apart.It's falling apart in front of my eyes.Something is distressing D right now, at the end of the day. Distressing him pretty badly. Something internal, perhaps something external, something I don't know how to fix. The shoe is dropping, and I can see that he is … [Read more...]

Ali Family Autism Truths #22 – The Double Standards

D, A and H, about two years ago.

April 22, 2015 - Autism Awareness Month, Autism Truths #22At dinnertime this evening, my seven-year-old son H laid a good one one me. His older brother D, who had been sitting with the six of us at the dinner table plowing through his dinner, got up and left the table with a few more bites to go. We called him back - D, come and take another bite! He came back and protested, pushing my husband's hand away as he tried to give him another spoonful.One more bite, D - I said to him. So he … [Read more...]

Ali Family Autism Truths #21 – The Most Vulnerable


April 21, 2015 - Autism Awareness Month, Autism Truths #21When I picked up D today from school,, his lead teacher escorted him to my car (usually it's one of the teaching assistants). She tends to come out to the car line usually only to tell her students' parents something great that happened that day -- or something bad.Great, not bad, please -- I said to myself.She started with the great - D had a great day today. Did all his work very well, especially his work on the VAAPs … [Read more...]

Ali Family Autism Truths #20 – To Just Be Present

D lying in my lap.

April 20, 2015, Autism Awareness Month, Autism Truths #20 He grows sleepy, trying to find a comfortable position in the uncomfortable waiting-room chair as the medicine takes it's effect. I put his head on my shoulder, but in a few seconds he moves it away. I put my arm around him so he can lean on it, but he shrugs away. D's never been one to lean on anyone too much. He seeks out foot pressures and back rubs sometimes, but more often he shrugs our hand away. The sleepiness is coming in waves … [Read more...]