A Rambling Bit of Nothing: Fall Updates

Big Sis is back home. She arrived back in May and we had just settled back into our regular morning routine when Ramadan came around, then the end of the school year, and we travelled for Eid.

During the Summer, Big Sis got a job and we started working on driving lessons, but then she got a second job. A more career focused one. I’m really happy for her, she is making great strides towards her goal and her life seems like its on track now, but its been crazy hectic and we never really got back to that quiet, easy spot we were in back in the Fall. I miss that time when it was easier. Less stressful.

Mr. Fox chose a university, one that is not too far away, just far enough that he’s living on campus. There are positives and negatives that come with that, but I am choosing to keep my glass 1/2 full. He has been able to come home for visits, grocery shopping and laundry as often as he likes, but because he’s been coming home so much, I’ve not had that big transition.

Its been a slow tearing off of the bandaid.

I’m not sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. I’ve been told by my community of mentors that he will make the transition and sometime near Thanksgiving.  We will know by then if he’s gotten comfortable and will be able to handle being away at school, or if we need to start looking for another school for him.

There is an English speaking mosque 10 minutes from campus for Friday prayers. The school he’s chosen has a very diverse population and he’s got a close group of friends. They grocery shop, they cook dinner, they study and they hang out together. Because there is a big international community on campus, he doesn’t have a problem finding a place to pray, and for that, I’m grateful. The campus is big enough and small enough at the same time.

This weekend is the first time he hasn’t come home. I’m trying to stay positive. Magda tells me that this is great news, but it hurts.

DEEP BREATH

Do you see how good I am doing with looking at the positives? I’ve got a list of books to read about being the parent of a child who is away at college. I didn’t read them yet. Why? Honestly, I didn’t think I’d need them. I’ve been doing really, really well with getting advise from my community of moms and our bond has still been really strong.

But the last two weeks have been hard. He’s pulling away. Not talking to me as much.

I read books about being pregnant and having a baby, raising a toddler and a school aged boy. I read everything I could find on growing teenagers and how to be a great mentor and guide. I guess its only fitting that I read about this next stage. Maybe I’ll learn something that will make this easier on the both of us, if not easier, maybe learn from someone else’s mistakes?

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Kate is loving 8th grade year. She is in the top level at her school, and she knows all the teachers, she knows the building and knows what to expect. Her classes are challenging enough and she’s involved in just enough extra activities so she isn’t bored now that Mr. Fox isn’t home. We went to 8th grade open house last week and its hard to believe that my baby will be in high school next year.

Its difficult not to feel like things are moving at the speed of light. In 5 years all 3 of them will be away from home.

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Sweet Pea has finally found her niche this year. After the traumatic elementary school years, and the difficulty that is middle school, it seems as though she found a good group of people that are kind and true. I’m so proud of the strength she has to advocate for herself and navigate the ins and outs of high school. She still has moments, as do we all, where the glass is 1/2 empty, but most often that happens when she is overwhelmed or over tired.

She finds it a delight when she meets other Muslim kids in her classes. Sharing special days off with them, greeting each other with ‘Salaams’ and that common language that binds them together even when they just met.

It is amazing to witness my ladies blossom and grow into their own people. I love that they are so very different in their likes, their hobbies, their interests and even how the dress and their favorite subjects in school. But they have the shared commonality of being from our family. They know they are loved. They know they are cared for. They know they are treasured for who they are as people, and what they contribute to our family as well as their community.

I find it a wonder and a blessing to have daughters. Having grown up with boys, I never understood the bond of sisterhood. I thought I knew what it was like because of having close friends. I often referred to them as my sisters, but my ladies tell me that its not quite the same. There is something uniquely special that sisters have that no one else does. They can’t quite explain it, but it is different. As much as they love Big Sis, the acknowledge that they don’t have that special bond with her.

So, I’m enjoying the Fall and all that it brings. Cold nights, candles, tea and snuggling under the covers. The nights don’t bother me because I’ve always loved the night time, but it seems like the days go faster when there is less light during the day. Every day checking off my list of things to do, work to be done, chores that can’t wait any longer and tending to my people. I’m living, growing and learning. I’m giving back as much as I’m taking and trying to find wisdom and peace.

How have you been?