“So far …”

by Vyckie

Recently, my friend Heather, who is the pastor at the Salvation Army where I attend church, came over to help with yard work. As we were pulling up weeds ~ some of which had grown as tall as me ~ my new neighbors, a young couple with a baby boy, came outside to work on their landscaping.

Heather also has young children, and since she’s super friendly, she used the connection as a conversation starter … “How old is your baby?”

“Eight months,” the new mom responded.

Trying to keep the conversation going, Heather added, “I have two kids.”

… which sounded to my ears like an incomplete sentence. [Read more...]

Out of the Matrix ~ Part 2: Biblewives

by CherylAnnHannah

We broke ground for the house my husband wanted to build on the day my sixth child was born. I had to drive over to the building site where a bulldozer was gouging deep furrows in the grassy meadow where our house would eventually stand in order to get my husband to drive me to the hospital. Hannah was nearly a c-section baby, but just before the obstetrician came to prep me for the procedure, her cord, which had been laying across the cervix, and which was in danger of prolapse, moved out of the way and several hours later I pushed her out into the world.

She was only six weeks old when I loaded her up with her five older siblings and drove all the way across Canada, back to New Brunswick, for my sister’s wedding – by myself. My husband had stayed behind to get the house ready for us to move into when I came back. At the time, my parents had an empty basement suite that the children and I could stay in. It was a nerve-wracking time for all of us. My parents were not used to having that many children around at one time, plus the normal bonding that would have taken place had my parents been there from their birth had failed to take place. That isn’t to say that my parents didn’t try, but having six grandchildren all at once was a bit much for anyone to swallow.

I stayed from mid September until the end of October and then drove the children home again. Poor children. I tend to be a focused driver and would drive as long as they and I could stand and then I would stop at the side of a field, and have them get out to run as far as they could and still be in my sight in order to work some of the fidgets out while I nursed the baby. It was a nerve wracking experience trying to find motels that would either let the six children and I be together in one room, or else I would have to find rooms that I could smuggle everyone into and then pray that we didn’t make too much racket getting settled for the night.

I arrived back in BC, but my husband would not let me come home. The house wasn’t quite to lock up and he instructed me to go and visit and stay with some friends in the Vancouver area that I used to be close to. Bless their hearts, they took the children and I in and there we stayed for several more weeks. By this time I just wanted to be in my own space with my kidlets and settling in. [Read more...]

Demand For An Apology

Seneca Falls 2 Convention Issues a Demand for an Apology from Complementarians for the Harm Fostered by their Sub-Christian Doctrine

On July 24, 2010 at the conclusion of the Seneca Falls 2 Evangelical Christian Women’s Convention, the newly established Freedom for Christian Women Coalition issued a list of concerns and demands to Drs. Randy Stinson and J. Ligon Duncan, III of the Council on Biblical Manhood and BIBLICALWomanhood (CBMW), demanding that they repent of their aberrant and sub-Christian doctrines. [Read more...]

Daughter of the Patriarchy: The Atheist

by Sierra

Willa was an atheist. A self-styled “unschooler,” she attended homeschool conventions and activities with her two children, Alexis (9) and Steven (5), and it was there that she met my mother. Willa’s husband worked in a field that I knew only abstractly as something involving computers and sales. He was a passive, taciturn man with whom I never exchanged a single word. Their children were boisterous, especially Alexis. Willa attached herself to my mother very quickly. Since Alexis was my age, we were an automatic source of play dates, which often really amounted to tea parties for our mothers. Common interests seemed to abound at first: homeschooling, books, and bargains. Both adored flea markets, and Willa’s house sagged under the evidence. But there was no escaping the fact that Willa was an atheist.

Willa quickly became a mission field for my mother and her friends. One by one, they joined my mother in the weekly tea parties and occasional trips to flea markets or homeschool fairs. Soon the “Seal Sisters,” as my father called my mother and her church friends (referring to the seven seals of the book of Revelations), had developed a little circle around Willa. How to deal with the “Willa problem” became a topic of heated debate.
[Read more...]

When It's Time to Let Go of an Unhealthy Relationship

by Vyckie

It seems crazy to me now ~ but the thought of divorcing Warren did not seriously enter my mind until three days before I went to my attorney and filed the paperwork.

Even at the height of my exasperation, when I could clearly see that Warren’s behavior with the children was abusive and was slowly, day by day, crushing their spirits and stunting/warping their emotional growth ~ divorce was NOT an option.

Among evangelicals there’s a popular quote from Ruth Bell Graham ~ wife of evangelist, Billy Graham: I’ve never thought of divorce in all these 35 years of marriage ~ but, I did think of murder a few times.

That was me too. At one point, I was desperately praying to the Lord for wisdom and direction ~ What should I do? How can I protect my children from their father’s tyranny and crazymaking?

“Till death do us part …” I remember thinking ~ “Oh great ~ he’s so healthy! He’ll never die!” As I was praying, I honestly told the Lord that if death was the only way to end the relationship which was killing me slowly ~ Please, Lord ~ have mercy ~ put me out of my misery and just take me now!

But no ~ that would leave Warren with the children ~ and them without me to run interference to at least in some way mitigate the harm that was being done by their own father. I told Warren more than once that the way he micro-managed and harassed the kids, he was going to end up a very lonely old man ~ because the minute they had a choice about it, none of them would want to be around him.

“I know it,” he would admit ~ and I could see that he really wanted to change ~ and he was actually trying to change. Nevertheless ~ for all our wanting and trying ~ nothing ever really changed.

“Lord Jesus,” I prayed silently and with a feeling of great dread in my heart, “I know I cannot change Warren. You can change Him ~ but it’s such a slow process, a little glimmer of hope here, a speck of encouragement there ~ and in the meantime, he is permenantly damaging the children’s personalities. If You cannot change him in time for it to make a difference for the children, please … just kill him with a quick accident or heart attack.”

The instant I prayed it, I was filled with guilt and shame. I was mortified because, really ~ I did love my husband but at the same time, I wished he was dead. I felt like a murderer (there’s a verse about that) and I hated myself for even being capable of such evil thoughts toward another human being.
[Read more...]