Quick Takes #12: Or the way Toddlers think

When you try to catch the vomit of sick toddlers in a large empty ice cream bucket, they will become convinced that the said puke bucket is the very thing that is actually causing their misery. So they will run away whenever they see it coming towards them, resulting in vomit all over everything you were seeking to save by introducing the puke bucket in the first place.
When toddlers ask why the lady in the picture Bible is crying, and you explain that her name is Hannah and she is crying because she doesn’t have a baby, they will think that every other person who happens to be crying in the pictures is equally upset about the lack of babies. (Which is often the case in Bible stories come to think of it.) So now when Ms. Action sees a picture of someone crying she will point to it and say sadly “Awww, she no can have a baby.”
Whichever of their actions you lament enough times, will become the cardinal sin, even if they continue to struggle with it themselves. Hence you will hear one shoeless toddler strapped into her car-seat in the backseat yelling “No taking you shoes off!!!!” as the other toddler attempts to disrobe. (Actually reminds me of how I can tend to do that. As soon as I discover something new, I can find myself  judging everyone else who hasn’t learned it yet, despite my having just figured it out the week before.)
Everything is terribly exciting to toddlers. So when you take your 3 year old to the Library, she will point at every person who walks by and shout “Look! Mama! Look! Who is THAT!?” Despite your attempts to explain that we don’t know that person and we really should try to whisper in the Library.
 Toddlers think that hot dogs are good. Just because they are still in the package and we haven’t paid for them yet and we are still in the store doesn’t mean you shouldn’t taste them just to make sure they are what they appear to be. And this necessary task would be alot easier if you didn’t have to bite through that strange plastic wrapping around them
 A toddler feels beautiful in her favorite purple polka dot pants and her flowery pink dress with her velvet hot pink skirt worn over all. She will twirl around the house in delight exclaiming how pretty she is despite the mismatched colors and the wrinkles and bunches of excessive layering.
For a toddler, the only reason we put the toys away, is so we can take all the toys back out again. This is a cause for rejoicing! Nothing inspires you to make a mess like a newly cleared and vacuumed floor. Recipe for Happiness: Pull out every book, block, ball, doll, etc. and mix together on the floor. Lay in pile and grin with happiness.
And a bonus: In a toddler’s mind the only reason you say no when they ask for cookies, is obviously because you are planning to give them a jelly bean. Or maybe crackers, or cheese, or an apple, or rice cakes, or bread and butter, or a banana, or an orange, or chips. At least that’s what I assume from the way they keep asking for the next item, with such hope in their eyes too.
Head over to Coversion Dairy to check out more Quick Takes!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07363886412589745900 That Married Couple

    Thanks for sharing these anecdotes! I got a kick out of them, although I'm sure you don't find them all so amusing at the time!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13674332089949439989 Young Mom

    Some days it does feel crazy. But most of the time I can only laugh! :) I love them all like crazy, and they teach me so much about myself and life.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01659200420621854710 Maggie

    Oh I love this post! I remember my nieces and newphews doing silly things like this and how hilarious it was… now I can't wait to experience these with my own children someday!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03951937670507565105 Shelly

    So funny. Loved #5! We've have our hotdog packages eaten through by the time we got to the checkout line on several occasions. :)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14586469381231517883 This Heavenly Life

    3. So true! But mostly I'm just encouraged to know that other toddlers feel like their feet need to be naked in the car. What is that?

    5. HA! Our offenses usually run more towards biting into a bell pepper or cucumber before checkout. But a hot dog, now THAT's exciting.

    Bonus. How'd you get so smart? These were all so very funny :)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00550847149908532903 The Praying Mom

    LOL I sat here nodding through all of these. Too funny and so true.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00334700057953625321 Elizabeth Mahlou

    At least, she doesn't talk in generic terms, like my youngest did. All food was "apple." The worst? All men were "Daddy!" I cannot tell you the number of embarrassing situations I got into from that!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17793019717019839622 Maia

    My toddler shouts, "WHO DAT?!" everywhere we go. AND tries to each the baby carrots out of their package (even if we weren't buying them BEFORE). Reading your post, I laughed so hard I wet my diapers…I mean pull-ups…I mean…what do I wear these days? Deliciously precious. Thank you.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09723067016206324874 Claire

    Your girls have the most fun personalities! How great that you are chronicling these precious moments on a blog, so that someday, they can ready them and laugh themselves. :) Love #2!