7 Quick Takes: Or 7 Ways to increase your chance of getting laid, even when you have kids

Any one of these tips if used on a given day have helped me to stop making excuses and actually get laid! These are not necessarily in order of most or least effective.
1. Kiss him
And I don’t mean the quick peck before he leaves for work. (But those are nice too!) I mean really kiss him. Like when you were dating and trying not to do “other stuff”. You’d be surprised where a good make-out session can lead you. Maybe the kids are awake and you really only have the chance for a good kiss, then make the most of it! If nothing else it can connect you for now, and maybe inspire something for later.
2. Don’t say no
This may seem like a silly one, but when your husband propositions you, don’t say no. (Unless you absolutely have to) When you are tired, and the kids have been hanging on you all day, it may seem like the last thing you want is more physical touch. But instead of no, try “you’ll have to convince me“. Leave it in his ball park, if he’s too tired to do the work of cuddling and foreplay to convince you, then you are off scott-free. And if he is willing to try and “convince you” (and of course you are open to being convinced) you may have one of the best experiences yet.
3. Embrace the Quickie
When you have little kids, it can seem impossible to get them all asleep at the same moment in time, so that you and your hubby can get busy. This is where the TV is your friend. Put in a half hour video for the kids and hope they will all stay distracted long enough for something to happen. A quickie may sound like a downer, but listen to the reasons to try it.
1. Its better than nothing, and your hubby will be happy.
2. Its fun.
3. You can make one of the stipulations to agree for a quickie, be that you’ve got to try for something more elaborate next time.
4. You will get so used to making love with the sound of cartoons in the other room, that the theme to “Elmo’s World” will start to turn you on.
4. Lock the door
This seems like a good point to mention this one. It may seem like a no-brainer to lock the door, but it takes practice to remember. And nothing can kill the mood quicker than a toddler wandering in on you. Even when you think its safe, try to remember to lock the door! If you don’t, you could end up like me early one winter morning when hubby and I assumed everyone was still asleep and decided to get busy under the sheets. We were interrupted by a sleepy 2 year old requesting breakfast. My scream of shock (when I noticed her standing by our bed) was so loud that I woke up all the other babies, scared the poor oblivious 2 year old to death, and completely ruined my husband’s morning.
5. Go for it!
If by some miracle all of your babies are sleeping at the same time, take advantage of the moment and go for it! You never know how long that moment will last, and it could be days (or more) before the stars align again. And by “go for it” I do not mean after you fold the laundry, load the dishwasher and clean the bathroom. Go for it NOW! It is quite possible that you could get a whole hour together if you get busy right away! Put it off, and you may get stuck with another quickie.
6. Think outside the bedroom
Is there a baby sleeping in your room (or in your bed)? That doesn’t mean it’s a no go. If you’re lucky enough to have a guest room, get busy there. Otherwise, make good use of your couch, the shower, the car, or even a blanket on the living room floor.
7. Feel attractive
Notice I didn’t say “be” attractive, I’m talking about feeling pretty for yourself, not him. It is really hard to feel excited about getting close when you feel grungy. So, whatever it takes for you to feel good about yourself, try to make it happen. Whether that means putting on deodorant and changing into a clean shirt, or taking a quick shower and putting on perfume after your hubby gets home and can keep an eye kids. ( I bet he’ll be willing to watch them for you.) If wearing exciting underthings all day makes you feel more attractive, then DO IT. If painting your toenails makes you feel confident, then DO IT. Sex will sound much more interesting when you feel good about your body.
If you have kids, please share any of your tips for making a love life possible despite them.
This post has been a part of Quick Takes over at Conversion Diary. Today it is being hosted by Betty Beguiles, hope over to read more Quick Takes or share some of your own.

  • http://www.kathleenbasi.com Kathleen@so much to say,so little time

    Hee hee! Do it NOW is the one we struggle with–these two type A, get-the-work-done-first people!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14441368513494466628 Emily

    Great Post!! Kevin Lehman also wrote a book called "Sheet Music" about sex and marriage. It's very blunt and honest.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13674332089949439989 Young Mom

    Kathleen- I know! I hate to sound alarmist, but it really is that imperatve! :)

    Emily- I've enjoyed Kevin Lemans advice as well. He is OK with birth control, but he is very honest.

  • http://blog.berkman.ca Janet in Toronto

    I am totally going to use "You'll have to convince me". Hilarious post.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03888787690110614555 munchesmom

    Great list & advice! Thank you for sharing these tips :)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01346624342834471106 Kerrie @ TFK

    I have no idea why, but I thought you wrote "embrace the quiche"…..and I couldn't figure out what quiche and sex have to do with each other….lol

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14175344995056990157 Victor

    Should I be blushing when I read this? I'm not used to bumping into these conversations with women. I should definately get my wife to come and read this stuff though. – Thanks

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13674332089949439989 Young Mom

    Janet- You can get some great results with that one. :)

    Kerrie- Lol!

    Victor- I hope not, I tried to keep it as clean as possible. :)

  • http://linda.curious-notions.net linda

    part of the fun of having sex is talking about it :) great blog post

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05117120475033380036 Emily G.

    We use Legos instead of TV. Usually works great, except for the time our daughter (who was then 15 mos) climbed in with us and attempted to begin a breastfeeding session…we were laughing so hard we kind of gave up. :P

    Couches can be very useful pieces of furniture indeed. *wink*

    And I am totally in agreement with your 'seize the moment' philosophy. Despite my protests sometimes, I've never been sorry afterwards.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01659200420621854710 Maggie

    Another post of yours that I need to print out and laminate! I love it!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13674332089949439989 Young Mom

    Linda- Ooo, nice tip! Talking about sex with your husband is always a good idea.

    Emily G- Lol! I've had moments like that, a sense of humor is a must when attempting to have both children and a love life.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04448595911801738792 Erin

    Great honest list, I can only add that it only gets harder to carve out this time once you have teenagers. They never go to bed!!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14586469381231517883 This Heavenly Life

    I love your tips! Especially the 'You'll have to convince me' one. It's been added to my arsenal :)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09744212862956880795 aka the Mom

    What a great list! I would also add, study up on it and learn what's possible. Read, talk to friends, read some more, let your mind wander. Get beyond the bread and butter variety and try some new fun positions, etc.

    (I'm trying so hard to be G-rated here.)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13674332089949439989 Young Mom

    Erin- I can only imagine!

    The Mom- Agreed! Reading is great too.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13144780265730192629 Aubrey

    I've been saying You'll have to convince me for years and it's fun!

    I love this post! I laughed at your openness and was glad for the honesty and humor.

    Well done!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00172636187611286057 Heather

    Your 3.4 is hilarious! Let's hope it isn't really true… ;)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05860887792107209615 Joy

    My husband would LOVE it if I started saying "you'll have to convince me" out loud. It's sort of implied, but I think he'd appreciate the encouragement. :)

    A couple tips from me… We've worked hard to teach our children to stay in their rooms at night.

    Also, I have to make myself stay up later than I would prefer. This way we know the kids are down for the night and are less likely to be interrupted. Staying up late is usually where "you'll have to convince me" will come into play, though! :)

  • Anonymous

    I 'm reading back through your archives, and your teansformation from being so intolerant and judgemental and religious to being compassionate and kind and empathetic is really heartwarming. A couple of months before this post you were talking about how homosexuality is inherently evil, and now you're including lesbians prominently in talking about sex. It really really gives me hope for humanity.


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X