A New Year



 I’m not used to it yet. The year sounds silly in my mind, and I find myself writing 2012 on everything still. As we decorated for the holiday season,  I found myself remembering the last time I saw these decorations just one year ago.  How we got wind of the rumors that had started and the actions being taken, and we wondered how long we would have to leave. Would we be booted from the parsonage within days or weeks? How long would this process take? The uncertainty and tension, the awkward church services, Haley going to intense meetings where she was officially informed of the churches disapproval of her existence, the exhaustion.  Packing some of what we owned, and giving away or getting rid of the rest of it. Trying to nail down a location of where we were moving too and making the trip to select a rental.

As I sit here a year later, I feel nothing but relief to be out of that. No longer in that life where one’s financial and societal survival depend on the interpretations of every minor detail of one’s life.  I may miss a few of the darling people who we cared for and who cared for us, I may miss some of the aspects of flexibility in scheduling, but I do not miss ministry. Just a few weeks ago I felt my stomach drop at the realization that the following day was a Sunday, before I remembered that I am no longer required to go to church. 

In a year that had the chaos of moving and careers changing and my spouses gender transition, we had a surprising amount of stability and wholeness. We have found a new home, with a new community. We’ve journeyed through rejection from family this year, as well as the decision by some to tolerate our differences. I got my first job, and we put our first baby in school. I started last year with the word “Acceptance” in anticipation of what we would be going through. I need help sometimes remembering to accept myself and the fact that I have not “arrived”. And at the end of this year of change, I feel like the word that sums it up best is “strength”.


I haven’t felt this optimistic about a calendar year in a long time.  I am excited about watching my children, my Hunnie, and myself continue to grow. I want to take that acceptance and open embracing of life and it’s unknown from 2012 with me.


 A new year for living. A year for community. A year for peace.

  • http://summat2thinkon.blogspot.co.uk Considerer

    Hope 2013′s an amazing year of relaxation and recuperation for you both. Hope you catch a break which sails you merrily through the entire year. Goodness knows 2012′s been crap for so many people.

  • Rosa

    I can’t believe it’s only been a year. You’ve both survived, and grown together and individually, so much. I hope this year is a peaceful time to thrive without so many challenges.

  • http://ladyheathersdomain.blogspot.com/ Lady Heather

    You have been through so much in just a year. It is amazing to look back isn’t it. 2012 was the start of my hubby’s lower GRS surgeries. I too feel positive about 2013 (also the year my son turns 18 and hopefully graduates from high school.) I am so proud of you guys for living your truths and being so open and honest. You and your Hunnie are really showing your children how important it is to be who you are and to live in truth. I know how hard those changes have been. May 2013 be everything you dreamed of.

  • http://vixidragon.blogspot.com Vixi Dragon

    Acceptance and Strength make good words to live by. Our year was eye opening, not just for us but for our families as well. Thank you for sharing your journey. Your words were a great source of strength and comfort for me during my spouse’s early transition. We got the legal name and gender change done end of last year and have been getting things switched over since. No matter how crazy things have gotten, she is so much happier now than I have ever seen her. Thank you again for being an example of transition improving a relationship instead of breaking it.

  • Kálvin

    Hey Melissa, it is nice to see you blogging again! I wish the best for you and your family in 2013.

    • Paula G V aka Yukimi

      Seconded! =)

  • http://grace-filled.net jen

    I totally understand that feeling from Sunday morning.

  • http://bloggbib.net/Tanz/ Eva

    2012 has really been a special year for you. I hope 2013 will be even better.

  • http://thesarcasticparent.blogspot.com/ amber_mtmc

    What a year for your whole family! I think 2013 holds so much potential for you, for all of us.

  • Karen

    You know that old Egyptian curse, “may you live in interesting times”? I wish you a thoroughly uninteresting 2013, where things go well, you and your family continue to grow together, and nothing is “interesting” from a catastrophic point of view.