Happenings

Every once in a while when I get a bunch of small posts that aren’t really big enough to be a post of their own, I do a hodge-podge post. So here’s the latest.

 

On the drive home from dropping people off in the morning.

 

Ms Drama: Mom do you looove the hair on your chin?

Me: Um, I don’t know? (What a weird question!)

Ms Drama: You know, because it helps you win when you play video games.

 

This is what comes of saying things like “I barely squeaked by there! Won by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin!”

 

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So I was at work doing dishes and my co-worker was on break. So I decided to call Haley and chat while I scrubbed. That was when my phone gave me the “emergency calls only” notification and refused to put through my call. I tried a couple more times with no success. I concluded that the snowstorm must be worse than I thought, maybe a cell tower was down, or maybe the city had shut down cell service because they had to have all the lines to keep up with the amount of emergency calls that were coming in.

For the next few days I would periodically check on my phone and it continued to tell me I had no service. Since I had paid the phone bill on time I started to suspect that something was wrong with my provider, but this happened in the middle of a week where I worked 7 nights straight, so I wasn’t able to go in to the store and find out what was going wrong. So I carried a phone that couldn’t make or receive calls for like 5 days.

One night when Haley and I should have been sleeping but instead were awake and whispering in bed again, I was complaining about my phone and Haley was like “well you should call in about it.” I was like “ I can’t! My phone doesn’t work!” And she said “ well, you could use my phone.” And I was like “ No, I need to go in and show them, on  the phone they always say stuff like “mam, do you have your phone turned on?” we snickered some more. “Yeah” said Haley, “the customer service people always assume you’re a complete idiot.” I thought for a minute. “Actually, now that I think about it I haven’t tried turning my phone off and then back on again, I wonder if that would fix it.” Haley: “Um yeah, you might want to try that.”

Sure enough, my phone is back to working normally again. Call it a rookie mistake, I’ve only had a cell phone for like 9 months.

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In  my mission to accept every body, I have come upon a puzzling conundrum. My daughters don’t know yet that our culture thinks it is bad to be fat. They call me snugly. They compliment my soft curves. My 4 year old laughs when she “beats” me in a race and declares that I am probably slower than her because my butt is so much bigger than hers.

Fat is not a bad word to them, it is a descriptive adjective the same as thin or tall or short. I have never heard them talk about larger people with disgust. They see size as part of the variety of humanity. Some people have dark skin, some people have light skin, some people have short hair, some people have long hair, some people are thin, some people are fat, all of those things are nice things to be.

The other morning while Ms Action was getting ready for school, she plopped onto the floor and leaned against my side. She said “I like it when Tina is in class, because then I get to sit by her and she is fat and soft like you.”  I immediately felt worried that my daughter might innocently call this child fat, and possibly hurt her feelings unintentionally.

I said something about how some people think that fat isn’t a good way to be, so it might not be a good idea to call people fat.  But it wasn’t making sense to me even as I said it,  and Ms Action seemed kind of incredulous and reacted in a “whatever mom” kind of way. On the one hand I’m thrilled that they don’t see some bodies as better than others, on the other hand, I’m not sure how to teach them to be kind and careful with their words.

 

 

  • http://michelle-endlessstrength.blogspot.com Michelle

    I like your hodge-podge posts! Funny about your phone! I was about to write some advice about how to counsel your children and then as I wrote it I realized that I had done the same as you…and I have no idea if it ever “took” or not or whether my kids have been the source of hurt for others. I guess like anything else, speak the truth in love and teach your children the same and it will all work out somehow. :)

  • Meyli

    Aw..by Ms Drama’s logic I should be AWESOME at video games. Well maybe not awesome – I don’t have an actual beard or anything. Maybe THATS why by boyfriend is so much better! Thanks :P

    My old phone randomly went into ‘only emergency calls’ mode a couple times – no idea why. You’re not alone! Glad a simple restart fixed it!

  • Cristi

    I’ve been trying to teach my kids about using the word “fat” too. So far, I’ve been telling them that words like “fat” or “crazy” can hurt people’s feelings and we need to find other ways to talk to people that don’t hurt their feelings. My kids say things like that to be silly or describe someone and they’re not intending to be mean, but their filters haven’t progressed to taking into account other people’s feelings. It’s one thing to say “I like your tummy because it’s so squishy”. It’s a whole different thing to say “you’re fat” or pointing and loudly saying “that person is fat”. I don’t know if my discussions have stuck yet. After having my youngest say “you’re fat” to someone, I talked to him about saying things that might hurt feelings. Next time he saw them he said “you’re f….” and then turned to me and said “I almost said fat”. Luckily he’s still young enough that it’s sort-of funny but hopefully the filters will catch up sometime!

  • africaturtle

    oh man! I WISH my kids hadn’t caught on yet. My daughter is 7 and is complaining about being “too” fat…she’s been practising sucking in her stomach for years already. Also my kids often tell me that they think i am “too” fat…they don’t like my ‘big belly’ , etc. My youngest son would even try and “punch” the fat off my belly (4 yrs old) I finally had to put my foot down and say that, though i understood they might wish me to be thinner it didn’t make a person “better” and i was working on loosing some weight and that they had to be “nice” to my belly because it was still MY belly and i liked it and after all it had carried each of them for 9 months. I think this is because at school kids talk about whose mom’s are fat and whose aren’t… :(

    In the same vein …i saw on FB today that you “like” The Fat Nutritionist website so i’m over there checking it out now…looks like a lot of good reading. Because i love nutrition, cooking, body image conversations a lot! :)

  • Ž

    That happens to my new phone all the time, and I might not notice for a few days because I rarely make calls, but sometimes receive them. So when i do notice the “emergency calls only” (which is not prominent), I turn it off and on again and suddenly discover that people have called me. sheesh. my old phone, which at the end of its life couldn’t ring when someone called or texted me, couldn’t tell time right, and didnt have any battery life, always always had service. now i got a smart phone and it’s great, except when it stops having service, which seems to be about once a week.


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