Election predictions from the sub-Christian religious right

What happens if Obama wins? The sky will fall, the moon will turn to blood, the seas will boil, human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together … mass hysteria! Just ask the dim-bulb luminaries of the religious right. They’re on record.

If President Barack Obama is re-elected …

Franklin Graham: “We are ripe for God’s judgment … His wrath against sin.”

Janet Porter of Faith2Action: FEMA to be used as “a standing army to stifle dissent.”

Joseph Farah of WorldNetDaily: “We will be hunted down like dogs.”

Joseph Farah of WorldNetDaily: “There may not be another free and fair election in America. I would expect due process to go the way of the horse and buggy. I think he will move to shut down and destroy all independent media. … His biggest critics will be rounded up in the name of national security. … If any Republican, conservative, independent journalist, pro-life activist, returning veteran, gun-rights activist, constitutionalist, Bible believer or critic of Obama thinks they will be safe in a second term under this would-be despot, they had better think again”

Joseph Mattera in Charisma magazine: “[We are] setting ourselves up to get the divine judgment we deserve to satisfy the justice of God! … Look for more challenges to our freedom of speech and the First Amendment that could possibly squelch what is preached on the airwaves and from the pulpit.”

Rick Joyner in Charisma magazine: “Christians in America will suffer persecution … we can expect it to soon become official state policy.”

Rick Santorum: “We lose, and Obamacare implemented, it’s over. … Everyone will be dependent upon government benefits. When that happens — our Founders pleaded and warned us against that — when that happens, game not on, but game over.”

Lubbock County, Texas, Judge Tom Head: “[President Obama] is going to try to hand over the sovereignty of the United States to the U.N. … He’s going to send in U.N. troops — with the little blue beanies.”

Bishop Harry Jackson: “If we go on four years more with the current administration, because our economic problems are spiritual and moral at root, that God’s displeasure is being manifest through the lack of finance and the lack of these things that we shared with you, the plagues and rejection are manifestations of chastening, the church has to vote the best it can our values, stop the onslaught of an ungodly agenda in America.”

Chuck and Gena Norris: “Socialism or something worse … a thousand years of darkness.”

Missouri Lt. Gov. Peter Kinder: “Every week [someone from Obama administration] is over at the UN planning to sign away our sovereignty, planning to give up our gun rights…or [to] submit us to a regime of global taxation.”

Cal Thomas/Dick Morris: “If he’s re-elected, particularly if there’s a Democratic Congress, he will eliminate the private health insurance industry and all insurance will be from the government and it will all be according to one plan. … But … his big focus will be to make the United States a vassal state to a globalist entity.”

Bryan Fischer: “I think there’s a real grave question about whether there will even be a country left to save by 2016.”

Bryan Fischer: “November 6 will determine whether America has a future under God’s blessing or under God’s judgment.”

Bryan Fischer: “America has no future.”

Wayne LaPierre: “All that first term, lip service to gun owners is just part of a massive Obama conspiracy to deceive voters and hide his true intentions to destroy the Second Amendment during his second term. … Get re-elected and, with no more elections to worry about, get busy dismantling and destroying our firearms’ freedom, erase the Second Amendment from the Bill of Rights and excise it from the U.S. Constitution.”

Jan Markell: “This is an apocalyptic election. It’s clearly the most important election in the history of America.”

Matt Barber: “America’s future really does hang in the balance.”

Matt Staver: “We are at a critical time of the future of America and literally the survival of Western Civilization, and I’m not exaggerating when I say that.”

Ralph Reed: If Obama wins reelection, “he can complete America’s destruction.”

  • ohiolibrarian

    The problem with all their fantasy is that they are SO good at projection. When they say all the horrible things they claim Obama is going to do–it’s because based on history, THEY want to do them*. Which makes me nervous.

    *Except getting rid of the 2nd amendment. Civil liberties can go, if they protect the rights of women … or LGBTQ people … or people with disabilities … or poor people … or workers … or anyone else who might actually need civil liberties.

  • Vermic

    OK, I thought the twist would be Fred revealing that all these dire predictions were actually from 2008. Because nobody’d be dumb enough to make such outrageous claims after the guy’s spent four years being president and not doing anything remotely like this. Right? And even if they did, nobody’d believe them. I mean, right?

    … I really wanted there to be a twist.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CUJHSQSQYTYT4DPZSKTVESYNQ B

     Schools?  I’d also vote schools.

  • Lori

    The underlying assumption of many of these predictions is that presidents, or at least Democratic presidents, value the possibility of getting a 2nd term more than they value pushing their nefarious agenda during their first term, which is the only one that’s a sure thing. That reasoning is extremely odd on several levels.

  • Daughter

     The Nickelodeon channel’s web site, Nick dot com, has a place where kids can cast a vote for the president. My daughter had a friend over recently and they were talking about this. My daughter had already logged on and voted for Obama, and her friend hadn’t yet voted, but was planning to vote for Romney.

    Both girls looked at each other and said, “Why would you vote for him?”, and this discussion followed:

    Friend: You shouldn’t have voted for Obama. My parents say Obama lies.

    Daughter: That’s not true! Tell her it’s not true, Mom!

    Me: What did your parents say he lied about?

    Friend: (shrugging) I don’t know.

    Daughter: Do you know what Romney said? He said he didn’t care about half the people in the country who aren’t going to vote for him. That means he doesn’t care about me, or my mom or my dad! How can you be a president when you don’t care about people?

    Friend: (thinking a moment) Then I guess I’m not going to vote for Romney, either.

    I was somewhat amused by the conversation, and proud of my daughter [I swear we never told her who to vote for, she's just heard her dad and me talking], and a little worried that I might receive an angry phone call from the girl’s parents the next day.

    But it also made me wonder whether her parents have legitimate policy objections to Obama, or if they have been listening to and hearing stuff like the quotes in Fred’s post. Because if that’s all you ever hear about the President, how can you not think he’s going to be something horrible for our country?

  • Matri

    The twist is that there is no twist!

    Dun-dun-duuuun!

  • http://www.oliviareviews.com/ PepperjackCandy

    And fire departments. 

  • Azraelmacool

    Reminds me of a bet I have with my ultraconservative friend (so conservative that he refuses to vote republican because they’re too liberal). He thinks the Confederacy will rise again and declare a new civil war by 2014. I tried to get him to bet me $1000, bug all he agreed is to bow to me and tell me he was wrong.

  • Will Hennessy

    Now I want to know what Steve Taylor predicts will happen if Barack Obama is reelected. Thanks, Fred.

    …though secretly I suspect he can’t tell anyone for fear of losing his favor with CCM or whatever…

  • Münchner Kindl

     

    It wouldn’t be a bad idea for some notable journalist to call these
    people up and ask if they’re willing to stake their reputations on their
    predictions

    So you want to import some real journalists who understand that reporting is their business (instead of simply parrotting what PR people and self-declaimed prophets tell them, because “telling both sides” save on facts-checking?).

    Or do you have after all the layoffs real journalists left with enough guts to take on people to rich and with too high standing in the fringe community?

    Fred just posted a letter to 2012 from a Family council that was wrong from beginning to end – did this have any repercussions? We know about the studies that when you confront right-wingers/ lunatics (Birther, Truthers etc.) with facts, they just dig deeper; and we’ve had enough studies on doomsday cult where the whole world didn’t end, and people were more committed to the guru than before.

  • J_Enigma32

     Idiot Joyner: “Christians in America will suffer persecution … we can expect it to soon become official state policy.”

    I don’t get it. I thought this is what you peopled WANTED. It means your end times are near and you’re all gonna get sucked up in the cosmic vacuum clear so we can FINALLY GET RID OF YOU.

    —————————————
    “I think there’s a real grave question about whether there will even be a country left to save by 2016.”

    “America has no future.”

    “America’s future really does hang in the balance.”

    “We are at a critical time of the future of America and literally the
    survival of Western Civilization, and I’m not exaggerating when I say
    that.”

    NO. You do not get to MAKE these claims. You bastards don’t even believe in the future, anyway! Whatever happened to the rapture, the end times, God has it all under control? You don’t believe in a future, it’s all going to happen anyway, so you’re fighting against nothing. Sit back and shut up.

    People who don’t believe in a future shouldn’t be making claims about. These fuckers are the reason why our society is as screwed up as it is.

  • Nangleator

    Saving the hell out of this article.  A few years from now, I will be stuffing it down selected throats repeatedly.  Also, I’ll be saying this in every letter, post and conversation:  “Why should anybody ever trust you again for even a moment, given how overwhelmingly stupid you’ve been?   Or do you admit that you knew you were lying and giving false witness for political purposes, and your own personal profit?”

  • http://dpolicar.livejournal.com/ Dave

     If doing so will give you satisfaction, you probably don’t have to wait that long. I expect you can find similar quotes from similar people in 2008.

  • Sally Fields

    Theory of total depravity. And projection.

  • GeniusLemur

     Because they think that God is as cruel and hateful as they are.

  • GeniusLemur

     These are people who are perpetually convinced that that their fondest dreams are about to come true when God will destroys the world. They’re not good at thinking ahead.

  • Baby_Raptor

    I would totally attend that mass.

  • GeniusLemur

     The people who worry about a UN invasion are never able to explain where the troops, ships, aircraft, tanks, etc. will COME FROM. They just take it as an article of faith that the UN can secretly get all this stuff from somewhere without, you know, PAYING for it. Or storing it. Or feeding the troops. Or having staging areas. Or…

  • GeniusLemur

     It’s classic right-wing thinking: the enemy is a lazy, stupid, crude, coward, but he could conquer us in a heartbeat anyway. It’s all about their black and white thinking (there can’t be anything good or admirable about the enemy) and their persecution complex and cowardice.

  • christopher_young

    The best bit is this:

    “We lose, and Obamacare implemented, it’s over. … Everyone will be dependent upon government benefits. When that happens — our Founders pleaded and warned us against that — when that happens, game not on, but game over.”

    Yay! They’re all going to shut up and go home!

  • frazer

    I’d love for someone less lazy than I to compile a similar list of (obviously unfulfilled) doomsday predictions from 2008, preferably from some of the same suspects, and post them with the comment, “Now WHY would you believe any of these people?”

  • sunmusing

    It’s like these people never read their own bible….Even I know about Mathew 7:15-20…Or Ezekiel…or Jeremiah…the bible is loaded with warnings about people like these…do they read without comprehension? Or is it self-imposed stupidity? I want freedom from idiots like these people who are trying to force their way upon the rest of us…Once upon a time…many, many, many years ago…there was a war…a war in heaven…between the forces of Good, and the forces of EVIL…The Evil side wanted to do exactly what these people want to do…FORCE people to worship the way they want them to….The Good forces said, “NO let MY children decide for themselves”! Now, I wasn’t there, mind you, but there are stories in this same book that tells all about this Holy War…Then there was this GUY, who claimed he was the Son of this General who won this war…and He also said the same thing…let HIS children decide…but low and behold…there comes a great and shining empire full of good people with good intentions…and it was good…until…the world has now become a battleground of HOLY WAR…again…this shining empire could be the leader of GOOD and Rightousness…but are now being dragged down into the pit of deceit, and evil…by these False Leaders…by the False Teachers…By the False Prophets we have been warned about….we have been warned….and we are not listening…sometimes listen to Pat Robertson…or any of the wing nuts who are relentlessly pushing their dogma of greed, suspicion, hate and fear…so unlike the book they profess they follow…

  • http://dpolicar.livejournal.com/ Dave

     > They’re all going to shut up and go home!

    Or they’re going to riot and tear down the stadium. It’s hard to predict what angry fans will do.

  • Münchner Kindl

     

    I’d love for someone less lazy than I to compile a similar list of  (obviously unfulfilled) doomsday predictions from 2008, preferably from
    some  of the same suspects,

    FRED, you hear that? Maybe if patheos could put that on the front page…

  • Tapetum

    I can’t find the link again, but my uncle is unfortunately one of these people. His particular explanation for why the world didn’t end during the first four years of Obama’s presidency is that  Obama’s Illuminati Satanist puppet masters weren’t ready yet. They needed the first term to lay down the groundwork, and now they’re ready to strike. Which does allow him to believe in both a bumbling idiot president, and a highly-organized, efficient takeover – if Obama is a front, then he can be as much a fuck-up as you please, it’s his masters who have to be good at their jobs.

    Of course, why people so efficient at taking over the world would let decades to centuries of planning go down the drain because of one measly US election is beyond me. I suspect my uncle would just say that they’re patient and waiting for just the right moment.

    Of course he also believes that the entire progressive agenda, popular music, psychotherapy, and the “Bodies” exhibit are part of the conspiracy as well. Why the Illuminati would want to run the world *more* when they already seem to control everything is not explained. Other than that they worship Satan and are evil, of course.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001098371002 Michael E. Bowen

    That was a surprisingly short list…

  • Tricksterson

    I suspect that at least some of them had no intention of there being an administration to succeed Bush.

  • Tricksterson

    So he’s like that WWII general who used the fact that there had been no sabotage by Japanese citizens in California as evidence that they must be up to something

  • Tricksterson

    Because their version of God is  a playground bully at best and a sadistic psychotic at worst.

  • Tricksterson

    Will they come with little propellors?

  • Tricksterson

    Look at the article about the predictions for 2012 written in 2008.  They didn’t own up to any of those being wrong, why would they own up to any of these?

  • commonsensecanadian

    Here’s a couple of things Obama SHOULD do if he gets a second term:

    1. Turn the IRS loose on employers such as David Siegel who told their employees to vote for Rmoney.

    2. Revoke the tax-exempt status of churches who told their flock who to vote for. That includes the Roman Catholic Church; don’t just go after the small fish.

  • Münchner Kindl

     That’s why I said “Bet” (privately for money) not “expose” (in public).

    And yeah, I know like all other hucksters, e.g. the mediums, they will never ever accept a bet without any weasel words.

    Still, imagine how rich you could get betting 10$ against each idiotic prediction …

  • AnonymousSam

    I’m simultaneously amused by the second amendment rights hysteria and vaguely surprised that there isn’t more of it. It really is true: they’re terrified of the government comin’ for their guns. Never mind that all their stockpiling and squirreling away of nonperishable comestibles and ammunition really wouldn’t make  much difference against the army they insist is right around the corner, sent by The Evil Black Man to subjugate and destroy. It just wouldn’t be as much fun to acknowledge reality, and certainly would put a stop to the persecution-erections they get when they imagine life under The Antichrist.

  • Cthulhu818

    I wonder if they’ve (The Reich wing that is) ever considered what is going to happen after they disenfranchise all those women, LGBTQ people, disabled, and minorities who are as heavily armed as the RW are.  Hmmmm

  • Cthulhu818

    Evidently, according to the Romnians, God likes him some rapin’ too!

    Their God is a mean kid with a magnifying glass over an anthill.

  • Pmac683

    wow, who knew there was such power to do or bring such things to light…? scary stuff here. best get on with watching that show about planning for an apocalyptic event if Obama gets re-elected… I’m terrified now… just terrified I tell ya…

  • Meghan Smetana

    Phew, thank goodness our economic woes are only moral in nature!!!

    In that case I require a democratic congress and president so we really can act as stewards of this Earth, and care for our fellow man regardless of his means, and recognize the holy dignity of every person and the glory that is love and commitment.

    That is what they were talking about right?

  • EllieMurasaki

    Well, they’d probably like the subtle implication that only men are worth caring for…

  • Tricksterson

    The second one, aside from requiring a law passed by Congress, would be clearly unconstitutional as it would punish one group of religions while leaving others alone.  it would also never pass because  no religion is going to ever allow any religions tax exempt status to be revoked because they could be next.

  • Tricksterson

    Anything on that note from our old pal Glen Beck?

  • EllieMurasaki

    The second one, aside from requiring a law passed by Congress, would be clearly unconstitutional as it would punish one group of religions while leaving others alone.

    Except it wouldn’t, because the characteristic that the penalized group would have in common is the getting involved in politics contrary to the deal that religion and politics stay out of each other.

  • commonsensecanadian

     Nope, it doesn’t require a law to be passed at all. It’s already the law that “organizations
    may not do such things as make statements that endorse or oppose a
    candidate, publish or distribute campaign literature, or make any type
    of contribution, monetary or otherwise, to a political campaign.” See http://www.advanceusa.org/church_involvement.aspSo, my suggestion is, let’s get going on enforcement. The problem up until now it, it only gets enforced against the little guys.

  • EllieMurasaki

    Wait, that bit gets enforced at all?

  • lynnnoe

     Of course not – it will be because they all prayed soooooo hard that god heard them and changed Obama’s heart. (snark off)

  • dazzar41

    I think all those contributors need to be reminded judgement is not dependent on who is elecetd but on our hearts. They need to read Matthew 23…and be very, very careful about the posion they spread

  • http://apocalypsereview.wordpress.com/ Invisible Neutrino

    Why do these people fantasize so much that their God will actively intervene (especially negatively) when to all indications their God isn’t much for that sort of thing in the last, oh, thousand years or so?

  • Fusina

     So…more things about them to laugh at?

  • Fusina

     I’m pretty sure the only ones with propellers are the rainbow colored ones…So yes, as they have just dyed them blue so no one will know that they are all gay…

    Being sarcastic on that last bit…well, the whole thing actually.

  • http://www.facebook.com/patrick.mcgranahan Patrick McGranahan

    Um, they know he’s actually president NOW, right?  Has been for 4 years?  And these same tools said the same sh!t 4 years ago…and none of it came true? 


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