Luckily, this is not difficult

(* — links to articles with disturbing discussions of rape, abuse, misogyny)

“Caroline was not available for comment Thursday night. She was attending a banquet for her basketball team.”

“In a formal complaint made against the 18-year Dietrich School veteran by at least four parents, McDaniel is chided for using the word ‘vagina’ during a tenth-grade biology class on the human reproductive system.”

“I hope he makes sure the conclave for his successor is not womanless.”

“If Christians were going to build a modern-day golden calf, it would be 10-story chastity belt.”

“As a woman, I find this profoundly dehumanizing. No, as a human being, I find this profoundly dehumanizing.”

“At sentencing, prosecutor Captain Ben Beliles said that Wilkerson had shown striking hubris and recklessness by assaulting the woman with his wife and nine-year-old son sleeping under the same roof. He noted that Wilkerson expressed no remorse and urged the jury to imprison him for five years.”*

She could have been any of us.”*

“It is time to stop making excuses about the way we dress or what we drink or where we run and assert, wholeheartedly and without caveat, that violence against women and the rape culture that sustains it are abhorrent to God and to God’s people.”*

Holy Misogyny is a disturbing book. It should be.”*

“I’m positive that the churches I grew up in did not want their teachings to be used by abusers to support abuse. Too bad.”*

I have come to expect this large scale corruption from such entities as banks and large corporations.”*

“They need to unlearn some lessons that no one will admit to teaching them.”*

Old lies die hard, and new truths take time and experience to be rooted.”*

What are we doing to our daughters if we are raising them to believe this normal?”*


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  • Sam, that’s what the patriarchal types _want_ women to think. “Men are scary and dangerous; therefore, we women should stay home where we’re safe. The Boner Werewolf myth is about intimidating women so that we no longer participate in the public sphere.

  • Let’s just call it She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

  • Lori

    The issue is not that the man should be able to force the woman to carry the child, it’s that he should perhaps be able to opt out of all aspects of fatherhood if he wants to. It’s not about who decides about having or not having an abortion (that has to always be the woman), it’s about consenting to parenthood. That’s not just about fuzzy feelings or the lack thereof, it’s about relationship and money and responsibility and a say in how the child is raised.

    On one hand I think that AnonymousSam is correct that it would be difficult to allow men to opt out without getting an ugly result. On the other hand, AnonaMiss is correct about the current system being unfair. One of the reasons that women must have the legal right to end a pregnancy is that consent to PIV sex is not consent to pregnancy and motherhood. (We’ll leave aside non-consensual sex because that’s not what we’re talking about here.)

    Under the current system having PIV sex is effectively consent to parenthood for the penis having person. He has no control over whether or not a child will be born. That’s as it should be, but it effectively means he has no control over becoming a parent. If his sexual partner gets pregnant and decides not to carry the pregnancy then he’s not a parent, even if he wanted to be. And that’s as it should be because it’s not his body. If his partner decides to have and raise the child then he’s a parent even if he absolutely does not want to be, and that’s where the problem lies. At a minimum he will be legally obligated to 18 years of financial support. If he doesn’t pay he’s a deadbeat parent. If he pays, but doesn’t also take on other aspects of parenthood and have a relationship with the child he’s considered a dirtbag.

    If he complains about this the standard response is that if he wasn’t prepared to be a parent he shouldn’t have had PIV sex. Those of us who are pro-choice reject that reasoning for the uterus having half of the equation, so the question is why we think it’s an acceptable thing to say to the penis having half and whether or not it should be.

  • ohiolibrarian

    Wyatt certainly seems pretty defensive about these episodes, doesn’t she? I don’t think even she really believes her thesis; it’s a justification for behavior that she probably is embarrassed about, but has to defend because of her parents’ role in the whole thing–and perhaps her own.

    What I mean is that while she was taught and encouraged into that ‘Lolita role’ which made her a victim of molestation, she now perpetuates rape culture voluntarily.

  • It also struck me that it doesn’t seem to occur to her that she has as much right to enjoyable sexual encounters as men do.

  • True!

  • Actually, it is possible to move a fetus to a man’s abdomen.

    He runs a risk of death… but then, so does a woman.