Leading Like a Monk: Choosing Our Next Step

Choosing Our Next Step

There are times when choosing our next step seems beyond us. We do not know where to turn, in which direction to walk. There are days when we are too tired, or too discouraged, or too frustrated to choose. We do not want to continue walking. We want to sit down and stop.

When we are tired, discouraged, or confused we often look for leaders to inspire us. We want to talk with someone who will understand and encourage us.

In college I worked with a leader who would let me describe all the ways we were in trouble. I was very good at seeing how this was a worst case scenario and explaining it in detail. When I was finished giving all the reasons we were going to fail, he would ask me, “So, what are we going to do?” Again and again, his question gave me what I needed to find a way forward, a next step.

It can be easy for us to get stuck where we are. We have worked hard to deal with challenges and achieve some success. Choosing and taking our next step feels like we are risking everything we have already accomplished.

We may be fortunate enough to have a leader to help inspire us, to listen and ask us what we are going to do. What happens when we are the leader from whom people expect inspiration?

Monastic Leadership

The monks I know are not cheerleaders, not motivational speakers urging us forward. The time I spend with them is most often filled with silence.

They inspire me not with overwhelming enthusiasm or confidence in themselves. Their inspiration is deeper than that.

Like my friend from college, they first help by listening. They facilitate the Sacred space and time which allows me to listen within myself. People who visit their home know it as a place where wisdom can be found. They create the possibilities of exploring that wisdom by beginning with listening.

Then they ask good questions. They understand being present is powerful in its meaning, but it is not their only power. The monks who inspire us draw deeper truth from within us by asking us for it.

Eventually their questions lead to some version of, “So, what are we going to do?”

Monks inspire and lead us by their example. Their leadership does not preach at us. They do not lead by exhorting us on to greater and greater efforts. Monastic leadership is much more likely to encourage us to stop, take a moment, and reflect.

Monks do not generally lead by setting annual goals and motivating people to meet them. They tend to be less competitive than I am.

Monks lead by helping us remember the values deep within ourselves and put them into practice. They realize they cannot choose our next step for us, that the choice is already within us.

Leading Like a Monk

We like to think we motivate people and we inspire them to become stronger and better. While our leadership can help bring out the best in other people, they almost always motivate themselves. We become more effective leaders as we recognize motivation is almost completely an internal process.

Our leadership may spark someone’s choice of a next step. We cannot make the choice for them.

Leadership and motivation are about core values. Sorting through our own core values and understanding how our values fit together is essential.

The monks I know communicate their values clearly and openly. They give people opportunities to ask questions and decide for themselves how their values fit.

Once I decided I wanted to join a monastic community, I spent a year practicing our shared values. Together we explored how our shared values fit with each other. We listened to each other. They asked me questions and I asked them questions. After a year, they received me and I received them.

During that year of exploration I discovered new ways we were connected, and continue to discover them.

Choosing Wisely

We need to choose our next step with wisdom. Each step on our path can be dangerous. The next step could be our last, or could take us off in a direction we do not want to follow.

No one can tell us which step to choose, or make our choices for us. There may be times when we allow other to influence us more than we really want. No one can take our choices away from us.

We do not want anyone to choose our next step. The choice is ours and we want to make it. We want the steps we choose to demonstrate who we are and what we value.

People help us see by listening and asking us honest questions. There are times when we can get a little confused or distracted, tired or discouraged. Other people help us sort out which step to take next.

The leaders who inspire me appreciate my discouragements as well as my insights. They listen to my worst case scenarios and value them for what they are. Leaders help me understand what is at stake in choosing each next step.

Each of us is on a journey and each of us is taking a walk. We meet new people and discover new places along the way. Our journey shows us what we have brought with us and teaches us what to leave behind.

Our next step will shape the rest of our journey. Each step has the potential to change our direction and how we walk. Some steps can make us more comfortable while some steps can give us more of a challenge. We get to choose.

How can we lead more like monks this week?

Who helps us choose the next step we find within ourselves?

[Image by JefferyTurner]

Greg Richardson is a spiritual life mentor and leadership coach in Southern California. He is a recovering attorney and university professor, and a lay Oblate with New Camaldoli Hermitage near Big Sur, California.  Greg’s website is StrategicMonk.com, and his email address is StrategicMonk@gmail.com.