I’ve changed my mind – she should absolutely be the next anchor of the CBS Evening News – The Nose on Your Face has shown me the light! Excerpts here from her not-yet-aired interview with Tarheel Terrorist Mohammed Reza Taheri-azar.
KC: Good afternoon Mr. Taheri-azar.
MT: Were I not shackled I would kill you with my bare hands right now you vapid cur.
KC: What a kidder!
MT: I am most serious.
MT: I am not joking. I purposely rented an SUV so that I could run over a multitude of infidels while inflicting the maximum possible damage.
KC: Okay. You and I both know that this was a set-up by the Bush administration but I’ll play along with your wacky little game. What were you trying to achieve by “running those people over”?
MT: It is not a game. I wanted to punish the American government for harming my Muslim brethren throughout the world. That is why I ran them over… on purpose… with that Jeep.
KC: I see. So you are saying that the evil, blood-thirsty SUV went out of control and lunged towards the crowd of students?
MT: No. Listen carefully now. I rented the vehicle with the express purpose of harming or killing as many Americans as possible. I knew what I was doing. I planned this out. I even neglected to take the extra insurance coverage although I knew that there would be extreme damage to the vehicle.
KC: Wow. Bush really has done a a number on you hasn’t he? Is there a message that you would like to give to the American people before we wrap up today?
MT: Convert to Islam or die.
There is much more. But if you’re too confused to grasp that this is SATIRE, then please don’t trouble yourself to go check it out.