Greatest Couric interview EVER!

I’ve changed my mind – she should absolutely be the next anchor of the CBS Evening News – The Nose on Your Face has shown me the light! Excerpts here from her not-yet-aired interview with Tarheel Terrorist Mohammed Reza Taheri-azar.

KC: Good afternoon Mr. Taheri-azar.

MT: Were I not shackled I would kill you with my bare hands right now you vapid cur.

KC: What a kidder!

MT: I am most serious.
[..]

MT: I am not joking. I purposely rented an SUV so that I could run over a multitude of infidels while inflicting the maximum possible damage.

KC: Okay. You and I both know that this was a set-up by the Bush administration but I’ll play along with your wacky little game. What were you trying to achieve by “running those people over”?

MT: It is not a game. I wanted to punish the American government for harming my Muslim brethren throughout the world. That is why I ran them over… on purpose… with that Jeep.

KC: I see. So you are saying that the evil, blood-thirsty SUV went out of control and lunged towards the crowd of students?

MT: No. Listen carefully now. I rented the vehicle with the express purpose of harming or killing as many Americans as possible. I knew what I was doing. I planned this out. I even neglected to take the extra insurance coverage although I knew that there would be extreme damage to the vehicle.

KC: Wow. Bush really has done a a number on you hasn’t he? Is there a message that you would like to give to the American people before we wrap up today?

MT: Convert to Islam or die.

There is much more. But if you’re too confused to grasp that this is SATIRE, then please don’t trouble yourself to go check it out. :-)

About Elizabeth Scalia
  • Sigmund Carl and Alfred

    I heard Bryant Gumbel was coaching her on how to ask the really tough questions.

    Anyway, even if CBS News doesn’t hire her as anchor, the damage has already been done by virtue of the fact that they actually considered her.

    That’s like the Justice Department saying they want to consider Denny Crain for Attorney General.

  • saganashkee

    Careful Anchoress! I just had a flashback to Jane Curtin as perky Katie Couric interviewing John Belushi as Mohammed Reza Taheri-azar. Or was it the Samari?

  • Atticus

    Well, if that wasnt a way to start my day with coffee on my computer screen! And as a rare breed of conservative Christian in Chapel Hill, i cannot tell you how many people would rush to agree with good ole Katie..including some of the students he was trying to run over. Ah, higher learning.

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