Big Fat Halloween Post…

… Children. Those greedy little one percent-ers.

Speaking of redistributing candy wealth; my son is having none of that.

Did you know you’re never too old for candy. Or Halloween. Or just being obnoxious.

A huge part of why I took to Catholicism like a fish to water was that Papists love to party. We have a feast almost daily, and if you’re bi-ritual or pre-Vatican II you’ll have multiple calendars to induce ecclesiastical schizophrenia. Catholics also have an amazing knack of taking regional traditions and making them their own; just ask those ungrateful pagans. Read more

My favorite post extolling the virtues of candy.

“Ooooo. I will feed your kids high fructose corn syrup and red dye #5 when you aren’t looking.”

Spooky. Absolutely horrifying.

Happy Halloween, y’all. Or as it’s called in my house – Candy For Dinner Night! Diabetes, ho!

Let the emotional scarring begin.

Related post: The Holy Card Lady – a house that deserves to get egged every year.

Now here is a warm and fuzzy picture of some really cute kids, none of which are mine. Mine is going as a demon jester with a skull for a face because, you know, according to my fanatical evangelical neighbors who live in the compound next door, all Catholics are idol worshiping spawns of the Whore of Babylon.

Image source. Bonus points, the tonsured baby monk.

About Katrina Fernandez

Mackerel Snapping Papist

  • LG

    When we were little, my mom would dump all our candy into one bag, put it in the back closet and tell us not to touch it without her permission. My brother would sneak in and eat all the good chocolatey stuff and leave the nasty peanut butter taffees. Being the good, law abiding conservative that I am, I would never do that. My liberal brother, who felt that the redistribution was VERY cool was never punished by my dictator mother. Thus, I am the conservative Republican I am today…..

  • TheodoreSeeber

    I notice nobody in the video asked the kids who were *receiving* what they thought was fair.

    • Katrina Fernandez

      Watch again. I think he does a few times and the receiver’s all thought it was unfair too.

      • TheodoreSeeber

        Nope, watched it again, all the complainers were the kids who candy was taken from, not the kids who candy was given too.

        I was suspicious about this because my son shares my inborn tendency towards generosity. I’ve not only seen it on Halloween from him- but even at parades- where he’ll pick up candy and give it to other people. Usually younger than him or perceived to be worthy for some reason.

        Of course, we’re both insane by neurotypical standards- I’m autistic, he’s got cerebral palsy and spina bifida. But if we’re insane- what does that say for the utter lack of generosity of neurotypicals?

  • Kristen inDallas

    I don’t bother calling it redistribution. I call it putting all the candy in a bowl for the person who made/paid for the costumes. I may share some back, but any and all candy collected through use of *my* costume is propperly *mine.* :) One of these days someone will wise up and make his own costume, but until then… chocolate! Heeehee

  • Elizabeth A Gill

    I think you might be appreciating this….

    • Katrina Fernandez

      You think right. Captain Canada, ooo la la.

  • Anna

    Took me a minute to realize that “Diabetes, ho!” was like “Land, ho!” and not a statement wherein the “ho” was directed at the oddly-costumed kid…