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The Crescat | Fortified with vitamin BXVI. Not a substitute for regular mass attendance. Side effects may include mackerel snapping.

Squirrel!

May 14, 2012 By Katrina Fernandez

4 Comments

… The President hearts homosexuals, haven’t you heard. The news made Andrew Sullivan get all teary eyed. Now Hollywood is more in love him and wants to give him all their money for his campaign, meanwhile I have friends who have been out of work going on two years and $40K is more than I make in an entire year. Never mind the economy, attacks on religious freedoms, and the gazillion bazillion dollar national debt.

2012-05-14_0954 — Nothing to see here, Folks. Move along.

Nope, the country is being led by a brave and sensitive man who, if he had gay sons they would probably look like this. ❤Awwww❤ Of course he is not pandering to a voter demographic during an election year! I trust that his comments are 100% sincere.

You may resume being distracted by this magazine cover showing a picture of a toddler chomping on his mom’s breast.

So Far So Good, My Journey To Getting Healthy – Week One …

September 28, 2013 By Katrina Fernandez

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… I’m almost at the end of my first week of the new diet. Which really isn’t a diet, per se. It’s more like a concerted effort to eat healthier. I must say I feel pretty fantastic. I mean I’m still fat and junk (it’s only been five days) but my energy level is noticeably different. I stopped eating white bread, drinking soda, and eating fast food. Typically I’m no good to anyone after 3 pm, stalled on a carb crash. And you know what… diet food isn’t that bad either. I suppose anything tastes delicious when you’re half starving.

Using My Fitness Pal to keep track of my eating habits, I am utterly stunned by the amount of sugar I consume. Sugar and salt are in everything. Seriously. I noticed that by breakfast I had surpassed the recommend daily intake of sugar with just a single glass of orange juice and a yogurt. I haven’t figured out what to do yet with that information about sugar. I need to eat breakfast.

Related: 14 Ways Sugar Is Secretly Evil

I am truly enjoying the MFP website. It’s useful, informative, and people cheer each other on. You should seriously check it out. I do stay away from the forums though. There are some crazy hardcore folks over there and I’m just your typically fatty trying to slim down and be healthier, not train for the Ironman.

So here I am, at my fattest weight ever after having yo-yo’d for almost 15 years, each time gaining more than I lost. That was because I was following some diet trend instead of really just learning how and what to eat or how food works. That’s why keeping a food journal is so useful. They never should have done away with home economics in school. People need to learn how to prepare food and properly eat.

What prompted all this change, you might ask? My sedentary desk job and money. I sit for eight hours a day and everyone in the office eats out for lunch. Sometimes for breakfast and lunch. And they do this 3-4 times a week. Aside from eating ourselves to death, we were all going broke too.

This health kick really started when I was looking over my spending habits. I’m squirreling away every nickle and dime to get back to Rome and Spain. When I saw how much I was spending on take out and fast food I decided to stop right then. I brought my lunch to work and the savings started to add up. Inspired by this, I started keeping breakfast food at work too. Stuff like fresh fruit, yogurt, OJ and instant oatmeal.

When I noticed how much better I started to feel my cravings for McDonald’s breakfast bagels completely diminished. Then I registered for MFP to really scrutinize the food I was consuming. And wow. What an eye opener.

The best part; my boss noticed. He noticed my increased energy and decided to start an office wide fitness initiative. He is paying us money and giving prizes, like gym memberships, when we meet our goals. I’m sure it keeps company insurance costs down so everybody wins.

Let’s just hope this sticks. I’m notorious for starting projects and lacking follow through, like that time I started learning Spanish, or tried to sew, and cook, and garden….

To stay motivated I plan to post weekly updates. Right now I’m just hoping to make it through the weekend without the support of my co-workers who joined the fitness program with me.

Cheer me on from the sidelines, please.

The War On Boys and Anti-Gun Hysteria …

June 3, 2013 By Katrina Fernandez

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… Forget the contrived “war on girls”, I’ve been saying there is a war on boys before it was cool. My impending, and always accurate, sense of doom began exactly ten years ago with the birth of my son. From the very first play date where all the moms repeated to their toddler sons, “Don’t hit. We don’t use our hands for hitting”. The “happy hands” philosophy later evolved into restricting their sons from playing with guns and toy weapons.

Here’s the thing… a little boy can turn anything into a weapon. A stick is a sword. Break the stick and it becomes a gun. The same can be said for plain old building blocks. Pretty much anything. If he can hold it, it’s a gun.

I’ve seen my son turn sweet and snugly stuffed animals into grenades and cannonballs of death launched across the living room. The floor is always lava and if you roll out of the hammock you get eaten alive by a swarm of circling sharks. Peril and bloodshed lurk everywhere. That’s just how the mind of a boy works.

What do you suppose happens when you stifle these natural tendencies? All this anti-gun hysteria is causing a rise in school shootings. Yes, I said causing. Kids needs to work through their behavior, test the boundaries, and that’s how they learn what is socially acceptable. Deny them that outlet and BAM… recipe for pathological behavior.

Also we need to dispel this myth that things are evil and not actions. What we’ve instilled in kids is a disconnect from their actions and those action’s direct consequences. It’s like that anecdote you hear where a man, as a young boy, shoots a squirrel with his BB gun and becomes so horrified he vows never to touch a gun again. The gun isn’t the problem, pointing it at small animals is.

You know what else sets my teeth on edge? Reading about innocent little boys, 5 and 6 years old, being ostracized and suspended from school for doing what they are naturally wired to do. As far as I am concerned this blatant intolerance and reverse sexism is terrorizing our male children. It’s child abuse under the guise of political correctness. A perfect example of this terror can be found here, where a five year old is interrogated for two hours and becomes so frightened he wets his pants.

Simply put, any teacher or school administrator that doesn’t understand how little boys work doesn’t deserve to be working with children. Instead of admonishing children for chewing pop tarts in the shape of a gun, we fire every single teacher and principal who takes leaves of their damn senses. Lose your common sense, lose your job.

There, I fixed it.

Related reading; Don’t Shoot That Lego Gun At Me

It’s news stories like this that make me mourn the loss of common sense and compassion.

Both children were kindergartners – five and six-year olds. If you’re at all familiar with children that young, you know that they are still very shaky on the concept of actions having consequences. They’re not evil. They’re not terrorists. They’re little kids who have new toys that they want to show their friends. They’re little kids who jam things in their pockets and then forget about them. They do not go around premeditating ways to stick it to the man and strike fear in the hearts of their peers by bringing Lego guns on the bus. But to witness the hysterical responses of school officials, you would think these were hardened criminals who are a clear danger to society.

… I think these zero-tolerance rules are actually exacerbating the problem.

random stuff for your eyes and ears…

November 29, 2012 By Katrina Fernandez

0 Comments

… Hey nerds. Do you like optical illusions? I’ve actually done of a few of these “tricks” and have others squirreled away for future science projects for The Boy. Kids love this stuff. I’ve perfected the candle trick so well that I can actually light multiple candles at once from almost a foot away from their wicks. I’m a wizard!

Brusspup makes science fun.

***

Did you say electric cello? Of course you did. Takenobu, Atlanta based cellist and composer, just released his newest digital album this week and now you can listen to, in it’s entirety, for free at his website or by clicking the embedded player below.

Enjoy!

For my next trick I will attempt to boil water…

November 14, 2012 By Katrina Fernandez

0 Comments

Oh, the stupid things. This morning I apparently forgot how to use a toaster.

And I made my first kill in the new Honda [photo unavailable]; a deranged squirrel who learned jumping out in front of my car is unwise. Recquiscat in pace, little guy.

Dear Corolla, a eulogy…

October 18, 2012 By Katrina Fernandez

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… You faithfully served me well. Eight years you & I traveled along the southern and eastern part of this great country slaughtering whole menageries of animals; squirrels, raccoon, opossums, Canadian geese, frogs, snakes, and rabbits. If it was nocturnal and in the road it didn’t stand a chance under your blood thirsty hellish wheels. Good times. Good times.

For 215,000 miles you carried me wherever I desired to go. Your sturdy frame protected me from harm in 5 accidents and you never once complained when I pushed you well beyond the legal speed limit. You bore the brunt of my road rage without complaint and I will sincerely miss you. You were a good car. The best I’d ever had.

Corolla, may you rest in greener pastures where the road is free of pot holes, stop signs, and malevolent traffic cops. May your body go on to provide good works for others in need. And know, while I cruise about Charlotte causing mayhem in my shiny new Honda Civic, you are never far from my thoughts and firmly rooted in my heart.

Amen.

DNC Does Not Want To Be Punished With A Child…

August 24, 2012 By Katrina Fernandez

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… So did you hear the one about how the DNC has barred children from attending Charlotte’s convention? The punch line is that feminists revolted. No, not that they are revolting. They revolted. As in, they got all righteously indignant and pretended to like children – for a minute.

“Women are the key to a Democratic victory, and sometimes, children are the key to women,” said Gloria Steinem in a statement noted by the Charlotte Observer. “It’s both right and smart for the Democratic Convention to behave as if children exist.”

Which reads; children are to be tolerated only for political gain. When the elections over we can go back to aborting them.

Now before you start hollering that this is precidely what the GOP is doing; exploiting unborn children by running on a “pro-life” platform, know that Romney’s been forced to address the abortion issue because democrats are refusing to acknowledge the abysmal economic condition of the country that has been spiraled ridiculously out of control by Obama. Look, squirrel!!

It’s so much easier for democrats to fans the flames of feminists hysteria by focusing an entire campaign on women’s reproductive health. Irony alert: calling infanticide reproductive “health”.

These diversion tactics are going to backfire; polls show that more and more people are identifying themselves as pro-life. In fact, democrats are so desperate to run with the “reproductive rights” and “health” platform, attempting to draw criticism away from Obama’s glaring failures, that Debbie Wasserman has no problem blatantly lying to advanced her Democratic agenda.

Because to Wasserman an outright lie is more palatable and justifiable than a republican president. The ends justify the means.

Which brings me back to the DNC. Color my perplexed when feminists balk at the unwelcoming atmosphere for children and nursing mothers. Last time I checked this administration was still the most anti-life our country’s ever seen. Nothing’s changed, right? Obama still hates babies, especially those nasty pre-born ones. And the speakers; presidents of Planned Parenthood and NARAL-Pro Choice America! The last thing Cecile Richards and Nancy Keenan want to see are infant eyes staring back at them from the audience. Talk about awkward. No, we can’t have any of that; not while we’re toasting Moloch.

Kiddos, you’re better off staying home. Safer too.

Breaking News: Killing Girls A-Ok with B.O. and his democrat cronies…

May 31, 2012 By Katrina Fernandez

15 Comments

… I’m sorry Mr. President, who exactly again is waging a “war on women”? Just so we are clear; your administration is against gender discrimination as long it doesn’t prevent monies from flowing to your bedfellow, Planned Parenthood.

I wonder, would the bill pass if it proposed to ban abortions based on race (something that was actually in an early form of this bill)? Are you not the least bit worried, Mr. Barry, that recent polls show a growing trend of voting people identifying as pro-life and internationally girl infanticide is considered evil. I know history isn’t your strong point *cough Polish death camps* but surely you remember 1995? Oh, wait. You were probably high, or busy eating dog. Whatever.

During that UN Conference a platform was adopted that established “eradicating violence against the girl child” as global priority and it sought to “enact and enforce legislation protecting girls from all forms of violence, including female infanticide and prenatal sex selection.”

You know who bans sex-selective abortions, there Barry? Hong Kong, Singapore, South Korea, Taiwan, India and Vietnam. Wait, what? China, yes, even flipping baby hating China has officially outlawed the practice.

In other news: ALL mainstream media news outlets have full coverage of, who else, John Kerry and …. squirrel!

female drivers …

April 14, 2011 By Katrina Fernandez

19 Comments

… Today I hit and killed an innocent squirrel. He is now added to the growing list of animals I have slaughtered while operating a motor vehicle. It’s terrible. Why do little animals insist on throwing themselves under the wheels of my car?

I have a valid driver’s license. How is this possible? What I really should be issued is a taxidermy license.