The Five Stages (of Going to the Bathroom in the Middle of the Night)

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This has become my life at night. Whether it’s because I am 45, or because I’ve had three pregnancies and birthed three kids, or both, 3 a.m. has become my enemy. Apologies to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross.DENIAL - This takes the form of, “I don’t REALLY have to go. I can make it a few more hours.” Then my 13-pound cat does a one-pawed handstand directly in the middle of my lower abdomen. This leads to the next stage...ANGER - Fucking cat. Get the hell off my belly. Damn it. I really DO hav … [Read more...]

Sweet Baby Jesus Frog

Rely on God! Don't forget the Gummy Bears!

So I took the youngest school supply shopping, and afterwards we went to Sweet Frog. My head was down, as I was thinking hard about whether I should put more chocolate sprinkles on my frozen yogurt. (Answer: Of COURSE I should...) I look up to see a sweet teenaged girl chirping at me from behind the counter, ready to ring up my order.I tried really hard not to stare at her torso.  Really hard. But I was trying to make sure her shirt said what I thought it said. It was a Sweet Frog shirt - … [Read more...]

My Afternoon as a Hobby Lobby Sidewalk Counselor

My Sidewalk Counseling Operation has doubled in size!!!

Back in June, I was inspired by a Supreme Court decision to take up Sidewalk "Counseling." Since SCOTUS declared the buffer zone around Massachusetts' health clinics unconstitutional, I decided it was time for me to provide those seeking treatments to which I object with counseling of my own. Here, in my post, "My Morning as a Viagra Sidewalk Counselor" I explain why this made perfect sense to me. Eleanor McCullen, lead plaintiff in that Supreme Court case, had been vindicated. Because she … [Read more...]

My Morning as Viagra Sidewalk Counselor

We Shall Overcum

Last Thursday, June 26, 2014, the Supreme Court struck down a Massachusetts law that created a 35-foot "buffer zone" outside women's health clinics (at which legal abortions are performed.) While my instincts cried foul, my intellect told me that since the decision was unanimous, the law itself must have had some pretty massive fundamental flaws. Surely, the trifecta of my girl crushes on the highest bench in the land wouldn't have concurred otherwise in ruling against the buffer zone designed … [Read more...]

“Unfair” Doesn’t Begin to Describe It

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Oren is a friend I met online, and we have a lot in common. We're both parents, spouses, bloggers, Marylanders, Jews, and challengers of gender stereotypes, among other things. For a long time, we've been sharing each other's writing on social media, and I've marveled at the community of Dad Bloggers he has built, through sheer force of his personality and determination that fathers who happened to be the primary caregivers of their children shouldn't feel alone.He has received the worst … [Read more...]

The Teacher Didn’t Do Her Homework

F_U WWRW - p. 1

Well, THIS has been an interesting week...I recently published a snarky retort to Rabbi Shmuley Boteach's blathering on about what women really want in the form of a graded essay. Despite the fact that I was inspired to do so by the large number of intellectual (and SEXY) Orthodox Jewish female friends who were posting his Huffington Post piece with a collective "WTF?!?" and "STFU, Shmuley!" I still received a fair amount of criticism. I found the feedback informative, fascinating, accurate in … [Read more...]

Jacks

Just like we remember them.

My parents are incredibly sentimental people. With two kids in their forties, though, they’ve had to make some tough decisions along the way about what they’d keep from our childhoods, and what they’d toss.You see, their sentimentality and love of mementos from our childhood comes into direct conflict with my mother’s (some would say “obsessive” - I WOULDN’T, mind you...but SOME would...) need to de-clutter. Since my parents now have five grandchildren, and are receiving even more adorabl … [Read more...]

A Rabbi Tells Me What I Want!

What Women Really Want - p. 1

Rabbi Schmuley Boteach wrote an unfortunate essay published in the Huffington Post, entitled, "What Women Really Want."I printed it out as a document and graded it as I would have graded one of my students.  Normally I'm a nice person, and I don't get off on ripping someone else's writing to shreds, because I can appreciate that people put themselves into their work. It's risky to put your writing out there, so my policy is to be gentle with other people always. However, every once in a … [Read more...]

Trying my Hand at Limericks

While I can knit together a phrase, I did not knit this replica of the opening to a vagina. Got it from - where else? - Pintrest.

Today, I'm so sad to see Clitoris Awareness Week COME to an end. Last Friday, though, I decided to show my reverence by trying my HAND at some poetry. Yes, at Lefty POP, a site where I do my some of my CHEEKIEST work, I helped people peek under the HOOD of this magical organ. Rather than simply pay it LIP service, I felt poetry would help me go DEEP into the subject matter. I chose limerick form, because, of course, it begins with "L" "I" and ends with "C" "K." Not to brag, but one friend called … [Read more...]

Celebrating #Patheos5Years! Happy Birthday to Diversity and Conversation!

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Ahhhh - I remember when Patheos was just a gleam in it's father's eye...no...no...that's not true...Ahhhh - Patheos - you don't look a DAY over Four Years Old...no...no...that's not right, either...Ooooo!  Patheos!  You look GREAT!!!  Have you had some WORK DONE??? Sigh. Nope. Not that, either.How about this?Dear Patheos,I remember when I was first introduced to you by my friend, John Shore. He was moving his own blog, and establishing a group blog for Unfundamentalist Ch … [Read more...]


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