None of us sets out to do bad. Nobody longs for bad things. We are not people bred for evil. Even the worst of us don’t want it. No matter how horrendous, we call our actions ‘good’. We justify it by explaining how our evil acts are actually helpful or right or necessary. We cloak our evil in goodness. Or, better said, we silence the true goodness inside of us with a cloak of evil. The world is full of… Read more

The fear of missing out (FOMO) has become a cultural phenomenon. We sheepishly confess to it while at the bar with our friends or on the phone with old classmates. It is a universally understood sentiment; I don’t want to be left out, I want to belong, I want to be a part of things. Fear can drive us and it can cripple us. It is a strong force in our lives. FOMO has become part of the cultural vernacular…. Read more

Living in New York, there is no shortage of things to see. Too much, really. At a recent gathering, I noticed how often I look for the same iconic buildings. Sometimes it keeps me from seeing other gems in the city. My focus is on what I know, what I want to see. And it is a microcosm of the way I perceive everything in my life. The Chrysler and the others We gathered on the rooftop of a building… Read more

The development of expectations is natural and inevitable. Our entire lives are a pile of evidence. We use this evidence to try to discover how the world works. We thumb through the facts and relationships and experiences of our past to make sense of the planet we live on. To put it mildly, it is frustrating when our expectations are not met. We try to manipulate the world to work things out in our favor. What good is that pile… Read more

We all want to be ‘top dog’. We fight and scratch and claw to get to the top of the ladder. We want the promotion, the raise, the corner office. We want the titles and the perks. We want the position and the power. But the responsibility that comes with leadership is something we too often overlook. We neglect the fact that leaders are meant, in the end, to serve. We are meant to be the first person over the wall and the… Read more

Perhaps the greatest obstacle for leaders is a mental one. We fight so hard for positional leadership, for validation and authority. These roles can be a hindrance to our actual ability to influence. The most important characteristic of a great leader is the willingness to take responsibility. We are enticed to leadership with the idea of taking credit for the good and blaming others for the bad. The perversion of power dynamics has us acting like spoiled kings on a throne… Read more

It’s no secret that significant community for young adults is a challenge. Everyone is focused on careers or dating and there seems to be this awkward elephant in the room – a lack of meaningful friendship. I read a tweet recently that said, “No one ever talks about Jesus’ greatest miracle of having twelve close friends in his thirties”. There is no easy answer to this dilemma. Kylie and I have struggled and worked really hard to develop friendships here… Read more

We live in a world where we are constantly bumping up against people and ideas. Humans are made for community. We thrive in social settings. The best of our work and play happens when we are together. Each of us as a high capacity to influence others. Whether we want to or not, whether we mean to or not, the way we live our life impacts the people around us. Influence can encourage us in our identity or push us… Read more

Like every organization, the culture of our relationships is determined by how we define two words: shame and honor. As we are learning how to interact with one another, we weigh our past experience, personalities, and perceptions to form a pattern of behaviors that are deemed honorable and avoid a cluster of thoughts, attitudes, and actions that are deemed shameful. Our relationships will be driven by our treatment of these two terms.   How It Happens By and large, this… Read more

Last night, we went to a Yankees game here in NYC. There were a handful of homeruns and a few that just barely missed going over the fence. Our seats were high up and the angle looking down on the field was slightly blocked. There was just one sliver of the field where we could not see. If the ball went there, we’d have to depend on the reaction of the crowd to find out what happened. I never really… Read more

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