October 15, 2018

Our world is full of noise. We hear the literal voices of people around us. We listen to massive amounts of media – music, TV, podcasts. And we have been become addicted. As soon as we get in an elevator, wait in a line, or have a hint of quiet, we pull out our cell phones and end the silence by clicking on apps. Perhaps the great and terrible invention of this technological age is the eradication of silence. Forget… Read more

October 12, 2018

“He’s making me so angry!” “She made me mad yesterday.” We’ve all used this kind of language. It is the best way to explain why we feel the way we do. It is clean and easy. Someone is at fault. I reacted. They need to change or apologize for justice to be accomplished. It was natural. Justified. Of their doing. The problem is that this is not entirely true. What people say and do may trigger our anger, but it… Read more

October 10, 2018

From early childhood, we start receiving mixed messages about both humility and pride. We are told not to be boastful, but encouraged to be the best and to speak our truth boldly. We are celebrated when we win and chastised when we lose. The message is clear: be the best and think of yourself as the best but just don’t say it out loud. The typical religious response pushes us to the other extreme. We associate kindness with passivity. Being… Read more

October 8, 2018

It hits us everyday. Fear. The act of being afraid is a universally human experience. It pierces all race, age, geography, and time. Why? Why are we so afraid? What is it about fear that finds its way into every human heart and mind?   Safety It might seem obvious and simple, but the foundation for our fear comes from a desire for safety. We want to make sure we are ok – accepted, loved, cared for, seen. Fear is born… Read more

October 5, 2018

When we think about culture, we often think about some alien force that has inhabited humanity. It makes us do things and value things, reinforces certain thoughts and behaviors, and normalizes things, some good and some very bad. The thought of changing this alien entity feels overwhelming. We don’t know how we got here. We can name the things that are culture, but we cannot very easily say what culture is. Yet, culture is something we all participate in. We often… Read more

October 3, 2018

When we think about the word leader, we often think about it as a prize. A title. A trophy for the best and the brightest. Like fame, we seek leadership for the rewards. The money. The prestige. And most importantly – the acknowledgement that we are good and what we are doing matters. The result is a complicated dance of performance, self-interest, and labeling. Like a sporting event, we want to know our score, our value, and how we measure up to… Read more

October 1, 2018

It happens everyday. We mess up. We make mistakes. Imperfect people make imperfect choices. We live in flawed communities with faulty relationships, all in the midst of a culture striving to be better. Part of the striving includes inevitable failure. But how do we make sure we fail forward? Believe it or not, every situation, season and setting are an opportunity to learn. Pain is a faithful teacher. Like a kid falling off a bike, scraped knees can either be… Read more

September 28, 2018

It seems like it shouldn’t be so hard. I don’t like what I’m doing. But I am having trouble changing my ways. The attempts at new behaviors just aren’t working. A lot of us understand what to do but have a hard time figuring out how to do it. Our system one is so deeply embedded and reinforced that we cannot seem to find our way to change behavior. Change happens in the structural tension between our There and our Here. Too often, we are focused on… Read more

September 26, 2018

Every day, we face a myriad of choices. They flash and jump and shout in front of us, vying for the important result of our decision. With competing agendas, the hope is to influence us to choose a perspective that benefits the parties involved. We hear all the time the importance of priorities. Organizing what we are to do into what is most important and what is least. This sounds a lot easier than it is. The main issue with… Read more

September 24, 2018

It happens in every marriage. Two people who live together can’t help but grate on each other at some point. Two different backgrounds. Two different priorities and sets of values. Two entirely different people trying to live as one. Marital arguments are an age-old reality. One side trying to make their point and get their way. Both sides fighting to be heard and valued. The argument is nature’s way of deciphering a winner. It is relational survival-of-the-fittest. And you may… Read more

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