Every entity on Earth is a culture. Our businesses, marriages, religious institutions and social groups all have a unique atmosphere around them. One the members of the entity establish. The glue that holds every culture together is language. Evaluating and understanding the language of your entity will help you thrive in it. I remember the first time one of the teens I work with used the word “lit”. No kidding, I looked around to see if something was on fire…. Read more

The single greatest plague destroying relationships is our unwillingness to grow. Imagine if tech companies spent all their time trying to defend and validate their previous models and no time innovating new ones. Imagine if an athletic franchise refused to play an upcoming season because they wanted to argue about how great the previous was. Our society thrives on progress. On innovation. In almost every area of our lives, it is learning from the past (mistakes and triumphs) and moving… Read more

In an increasingly global world, the challenge of security and inclusiveness is expanding. From national governments to individual souls, we waver in the difficult balance of the vulnerability necessary for community and the boundaries necessary to protect ourselves. The paradigm we often use is Us versus Them. Like so many things in the modern world, it is not so much that we get the answer to this question wrong; the problem is that it is the wrong question altogether. A Fatal Flaw The… Read more

We spend every day of our lives trying to avoid it. We spend every minute in it trying to escape. Turmoil. The fear of it keeps us hidden and shackled, careful to the point of crippling. Is it possible that uproar is actually good for us? Consider the movies we watch and the books we read. They are driven by turmoil. No great story starts happy and ends happy with nothing but happy in the middle. Tension drives our stories,… Read more

Every one of us has at least one problem at the forefront of our minds. We believe solving this problem will free us from negativity and open up a world of possibilities. The salvation of this circumstance will set us free. Unfortunately, this is almost never the case. What ends up happening is we trade one set of problems for another. The idiom ‘the grass is greener on the other side’ is perhaps the most prevailent lie in our culture…. Read more

Humans have a complicated relationship with truth. It is the thing we are most searching for. The lifeblood of our thoughts and actions. And we all think we have a pretty good grasp of it. Discovering truth is more complicated than we think. Often, truth is a developed pattern, a simple reinforcement of what we have been conditioned to know as right and good. Our perceptions limit us. They are the boundaries with which we view the world. Truth is… Read more

Our post-modern world is becoming more and more compartmentalized. Everything is so fast. Things change so quickly. We are a people who flip through circumstances like an impatient channel-surfer, waiting to land on something comfortable, something familiar. If I feel awkward, I pull out my phone and change worlds with the click of a button. People are more accessible than ever – if a relationship causes tension, I can move to another through a variety of apps and opportunities. The… Read more

There is something wrong with the way we communicate. I know it. You know it. So why don’t we do anything about it? I mean, it shouldn’t be so hard, should it? If we take a look at these three simple obstacles and face them head on, I’m sure we can all do a lot better.   A Case Study Earlier today, I was stuck on a New York City subway train for thirty minutes. It can be a disconcerting… Read more

  I spend a lot of my life feeling like something just isn’t quite right. I know there are some changes I need to make, but I often get hung up trying to figure out exactly what to change and how to change it. If I am honest, the true issue is that I do not feel the deep motivation for change. I’m lacking in commitment. Last week, my wife and I were in Uganda. We spent a week training… Read more

We typically view boundaries as a hindrance to our freedom. We define freedom in terms of a lack of boundaries, an absence of limit. But ‘doing anything we want’ is not the same as being free. And setting personal boundaries can, paradoxically, expand the freedom out of which we live. Defining Freedom First, we need to address our understanding of freedom. Freedom is not the absence of boundaries but the absence of negative consequences. When we laud the value of… Read more

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