Here

For a long time the worship song, Here I am to Worship used to be my go to prayer-language-phrase.  It was the phrase I found myself writing in prayer journals over and over again.  It was the phrase I heard myself repeating to God when there was nothing else to say.  It was the sentiment I felt most drawn to when it seemed the truth was more aligned with ‘here I am having screwed things up Lord.’

Acknowledging the here & now is the hardest part, isn’t it?  At least that’s why I stuff in another doughnut.  That’s why I run out to buy something new for that temporary happiness boost.  I’m here, this hurts.  Let’s fix it.  But this is also what sends me straight to God.  Here I am to worship.  Or at least, here I am not capable of the type of worship you’re so deserving of.  But I’m here.

Here I am seemingly incapable of loving these children the way they need to be loved.  But I’m here.

Here I am soaking in all this goodness you’ve given me, but distracted.  Still here though.

There’s so much comfort in that.  When I have nothing to give, nothing to impress God with just showing up is enough.  I’m here.  Here I am very scared.  At least it’s honest.

Thank you God for accepting me here.  I will be here.  Here I am in the beautiful.  Here I am in the ugly.

Here I am.

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This post is a part of Five Minute Friday where we write for 5 minutes flat on a weekly prompt.

 

 

 

  • http://dianatrautwein.com Diana Trautwein

    Amen. How long have you been at Patheos, Grace?

    • http://www.gabbingwithgrace.com Grace Biskie

      Diana, I just started here on this site with Kathy about a month ago. So not long at all!

  • http://definediva.WordPress.com daphne

    I love how you captured the difficulty of being in the now and the reality of it being all we have. I’m grateful that you remind me that it’s all God wants. I dont need to hide or shrink. I’m enough in my “here”. Thanks!Glad I popped over from fmf.

    • http://www.gabbingwithgrace.com Grace Biskie

      Glad to have you, Daphne! =)


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