{Be brave my little KoolAide faced soldier} Bravery is moving forward in the face of courage. Bob Loblaw.  We all know this.  This is a distinctly different experience when you are ACTUALLY DOING IT. Not the race-to-the-finish fears, over in 5 minutes, maybe 5 hours if you're running a marathon, maybe 5 days in you're giving birth.  Yes, those things are bravery, of course.  But, what is it called when it's 5 months of pushing through fear?  5 years?  Then, it should get a new title.  Something … [Read more...]

Why I Hate the Images from Kabul and Syria to Boston.

When is it coming to get me?When is breast cancer coming for me? When is someone coming to shoot up my son's elementary school? When is a tornado ripping my house from root to roof? When is a bomb blowing up the next race I'm training for?It has hit home for me, yes.  But I'm keenly aware that people all over the world are bombarded with these when-am-I-next questions every. single. day.I hate the image above.  And I hate the 'To Boston from Kabul with Love' image too. I hate them … [Read more...]


For a long time the worship song, Here I am to Worship used to be my go to prayer-language-phrase.  It was the phrase I found myself writing in prayer journals over and over again.  It was the phrase I heard myself repeating to God when there was nothing else to say.  It was the sentiment I felt most drawn to when it seemed the truth was more aligned with 'here I am having screwed things up Lord.'Acknowledging the here & now is the hardest part, isn't it?  At least that's why I stuff in a … [Read more...]


After it's all said and done, I'll be with Jesus.After I have all these shiny daubles and red-bottomed shoes, I'll be with Jesus.After I pour out my life as a drink offering, I'll be with Jesus.After I seek and pine and beg and clamor my way towards recognition, I'll be with Jesus.After I lay down my life for these babies of mine, I'll be with Jesus.After I lie, cheat & steal for a little earthly comforts, I'll be with Jesus.After I dirty my knees in copious prayer … [Read more...]

Why Am I a… Jesus Follower?

 Today I'm answering the blog prompt: Why Am I a... Jesus Follower? in 200 words or less.I'm a Jesus follower......because when I was a kid I remember the profound comfort I felt in the times we spent together reading the Bible and singing old school Baptist hymns....because even though -at first- I hated the Bible for being long, tedious & confusing I knew there was truth to be had....because at 16 I asked God for help out of an abusive relationship & help … [Read more...]

The Sibling Battle

Before kids, I never understood what it would be like to mediate my two boys almost-constant nagging, arguing & interrupting one another.  Maybe it's not "almost constant," but when you aren't prepared doesn't it feel that way? If someone had told me half of parenting would be this excruciatingly frustrating sibling mediation I may not have done it.  May have stuck with just one kid.  I feel a bit awful for writing that out for the world to see, but it's true.  The ongoing management of the … [Read more...]


Home has always been a struggle for me.  When I was young it was plain old unsafe.  As soon as I realized I could spend a great deal of time at my friends' homes (which was about 7th grade), I did.   I noticed whose homes were safe, whose parents treated me sideways, whose home was warm, stocked & safe and whose was sterile, hostile and unforgiving. I never thought much about what my own home would be like until I started to watch my best friends get married & I unhelpfully assumed I'd f … [Read more...]


The problem with being bare, is of course, that bare skin, bare wounds, bare feet leave us incredibly vulnerable to danger of every sort: frost bite, paper cuts, glass shards. A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about why I don't identify as a Feminist which left me incredibly bare.  And even though I wasn't in the line of fire per se, I felt danger on every side.  It felt scarier than the wounds left from exposed feet & freezing cold hands because my vulnerability came deathly close to my self … [Read more...]