I have had the opportunity to practice yoga for 13 years. What I have learned from yoga is each day I practice is a new experience. If I look back at yesterday’s experience and compare it to now, then I am off balance in my practice. If I look ahead in the practice I fall over. So the importance for the practice is constantly learning and allowing the breath to guide me. When I am serious about my practice I can assure you I will fall, if I am relaxed and allow the flow and the experience to happen, then it takes me to an experience that is wonderful.
I bring this to your attention because in relationships early on, sex, affection, and touch is all part of the experience. As the relationship blossoms and grows we tend to put sex on the burner and make statements, “I can’t because of the kids, I can’t because I don’t feel good, I can’t because etc…” Our “can’t’s” turn into tantrums that seem to push love away, then distance happens, and unspoken actions etc…and yet when we are with our partners we love to connect. It is funny that in a spiritual realm we talk less about sex and more about love. Now don’t get me wrong, sex in and of itself is not love. Love doesn’t equal sex. But a union between two people is sacred. Not a quick fix. Tantra is the divine exploring the divine. In Tantra the experience is new now, everything up until that moment, meaning “bad day, good day, trouble at work, kids driving you crazy, lack, not good enough,” slowly fall away and two divine, whole beings sit in front of each other, eyes wide open, and allow their breaths to become one and guide them. Like yoga practice. Open, free, and embracing the oneness, the newness and ripeness of now.
Allow your partner and you to put the kids to sleep and go to your room, dim the lights, and be still with each other, no words. Both of you sit on your bed, close your eyes and connect to your breath, connect inward, then open your eyes and simply look at each other. Gaze from your hearts and look at your lover. Let your breath and their breath become one. No words. Now you have simply created a sacred space of safety. In this space, as your breath and your partners breath are breathing together, feel your hearts expanding. Allow the breath to guide you both. Simply exploring with out touch, then touch. See where you both go. Feel the rhythm of energy between you both. Let your your divine self and your partners divine self explore from the heart. See where it takes you and if you giggle, great. I am not expert, so this is some basics. There are many workshops to discover in regards to Tantra. Discover the subtle energy of your partner, the power of your breath, the power of your sacred space, the power of discovery, the power of two whole divine beings exploring, and the power of the sacred union.
My hope is that your relationship can go from tantrums to tantra.
Go past what you think you know about your partner and explore the infinite with them. Remember expanding your love affects every aspect of your life and yes that includes sex.
Oh yeah- sorry mom.