How to Stop Losing It When Your Husband Gets Lost

Secret #3: It’s Not About Directions . . . It’s About TRUST 

Now that you know this, picture how it must feel to a man when his wife rolls her eyes and says, “just stop and get directions, already!” Or, “Honey, you’ve been working on that bookcase for 2 hours. When are you going to stop being silly and look at the instructions?”

Or imagine what happens when he says, “let me figure this out” and she goes ahead and punches the address into the GPS anyway. Guess what? You’ve just explicitly told him: “No, I don’t trust you and clearly you’re an idiot who can’t figure it out yourself.”

Then in his mind, that becomes a signal of something much deeper. He thinks, “If she doesn’t trust me in the little issues like letting me figure this out on my own, how could she ever trust me in the major issues like whether I’ll be a good father?”

So while it seems like such a ridiculously small thing to you, it is interpreted as a big clue about your overall trust and belief in him as a man.

Now, just to be clear: this doesn’t mean that you never say anything!  It doesn’t mean you can never raise something that is important to you. But it does mean carefully thinking through how to say it – and realizing when it is far more important for his heart to wait or to not say anything at all.

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Shaunti Feldhahn loves sharing eye-opening information that helps people thrive in life and relationships. She herself started out with a Harvard graduate degree and Wall Street credentials but no clue about life. After an unexpected shift into relationship research for average people like her, she now is a popular speaker and author of best-selling books about men, women and relationships. (Including For Women Only, For Men Only, and the groundbreaking The Good News About Marriage).

Her newest book, The Kindness Challenge demonstrates that kindness is the answer to pretty much every life problem, and is sparking a much-needed movement of kindness across the country. Visit www.shaunti.com for more.