Guys, if you think things are going fine in your marriage, but you hear your wife asking perplexing questions like, “Do you really love me?” or “What happened to the romance?” see her questions as red flashing warning lights. They are alerting you to something you need to take seriously. (Thankfully, based on years of research into how women think, those issues are also fairly simple to address, which we will outline in Part 2!)
I heard this example recently… does it ring any bells for you? Dave was very content in his new marriage. From his perspective, the chase was over, the conquest complete. The stress of wooing Monica and planning a wedding was behind them and a lifetime of companionship was in front of them. He loved coming home to his wife each night after work, making progress on various home improvement projects, having dinner together, and – especially — going to bed together. Life was good.
But nine months later, he was stunned when in the middle of a normal dinner, tears started leaking down Monica’s cheeks as she described feeling “lonely.” Dave was tempted to chalk it up to “that time of the month,” until she reminded him that it wasn’t. Until he remembered that several times she had said perplexing things like, “It’s as if you care more about DIY projects than about me” and “It’s like I’m only here for food and sex.” Those phrases made no sense to him, so he had brushed them off.
But Dave loved his wife, and he wondered: what if she really isn’t as happy as I am?