Men: Realize that you’re not alone
If you have ever wondered whether you should offer to physically defer to or help a woman in some way, you’re not alone. One guy captured the angst well when he said, “Men no longer know what is expected of them most of the time.”
This particular blog resonated deeply with men. Instead of most comments being from women (which is more usual), 80% of the responses this time were from men. Their relief was palpable as they shared how much they want to help – and many do help – but also feel the internal struggle about unintentionally giving offense.
In fact, some men shared that in the face of negative reactions, they have actually given up. One explained that he has been snubbed so many times, he no longer offers help. Feeling defeat, he commented, “I don’t want to offend anyone, but also don’t want to be insulted for trying. Danged if you do, danged if you don’t.”
Others have decided on a different approach: they don’t assist unless a woman proactively asks for help. A tormented thirty-ish-year-old man described noticing a young woman at church struggling to fold her electric bike. He wanted to go help but talked himself out of it so he wouldn’t offend her. He was relieved when she eventually asked for assistance.
The majority of men, however, had landed on a better compromise – one that ranked well with both men and women. More on that in a moment. First, let’s examine a parallel truth for women.
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