Should Men Hold the Door? (Or Lift the Suitcase?)

Men: Offer, don’t assume

There was a broad consensus from both men and women: When seeing something that might be a need – your colleague is carrying one too many boxes, that woman in the grocery store is trying to reach a tall shelf, your fellow airplane passenger is trying to lift a heavy suitcase – simply offer your help, rather than assuming it is needed and stepping in.

“I’d be glad to help, if you’d like,” will usually be received with gratitude.

But what if the help isn’t needed – or wanted? If so, the men told one another, go about your day without taking it personally! As one man said, “I don’t feel pressure to hold back from helping. Or rather, for ASKING if someone would like help. I have also learned to be okay, and not have my feelings or pride hurt, if my request to help is denied.”