8 Relationship Roadblocks that Sabotage Young Couples – Part 2

Roadblock #1: “Romance has to look like a rom-com”

Action: Check your expectations

 Every one of us has seen (and probably enjoyed!) those romantic comedy tropes. You know what I mean, right? A couple’s obvious attraction unfolds, and the comic-relief bestie sidekick brings the humor while madcap misadventures, the jealous ex, or concerned parent threatens to get in the way of their “true love.” Finally (right about the 100-minute mark) plot tension resolves with “the kiss,” which, of course, leads to a happily-ever-after ending.

Many of us love those cotton-candy romcoms, yet we don’t realize they are subconsciously skewing our ideas of what relationships really looks like. By rom-com rules, “true love” hurtles toward the perfect person and perfect moment – all set, of course, in a perfect Tuscan vineyard.

We have to check our expectations – including our checklists. Is he tall and handsome? Godly and a great dancer? An animal lover and a witty intellectual? A great listener and a fitness buff? Subconsciously seeking perfection in your significant other (or your actual spouse) is setting yourself up for failure!

Married couples have many opportunities to decide to love their imperfect partner (just as their partner will get to decide to love them in their imperfections, too). You don’t see that in the movies, but it is a huge part of marriage. No one is perfect, no matter what age or stage of life they are in. Financial stresses, insensitive comments, hurt feelings, and mood swings may not make the highlight reel – but these are things that help couples understand how to rely on God, trust one another’s intentions, build their character, and grow stronger together.

For example, I think about “Couple B” I mentioned earlier. I’ve watched them learn to fight well, parent together well, and grow their patience and kindness with each other. They are far more “ready” for marriage than many others, and yet I think something in them holds back from the great and the good out of a concern that they don’t see the perfect.