4 Easy Ways to Start Helping Kids Understand Their Feelings

 Let’s help our kids by validating their feelings.

It doesn’t do anyone any good to tell someone to stop feeling what they’re feeling. Or to tell them what they should be feeling. For example, how many of you have successfully calmed down when someone told you to calm down? Doesn’t it make you furious?

It’s important when kids are having big feelings to validate them. Acknowledge the fact that you understand why they are upset or sad or frustrated. Starting by validating their feelings can help them feel understood, even if the next step is helping them figure out what to do about it. It goes a long way to tell an embarrassed child, “I totally get why you felt embarrassed being asked to speak in front of your class. That happens to me at work too. It makes my cheeks and ears hot, and my stomach feels nervous. Let me tell you what I do when that happens to me.” Or “I understand why you’re crying and sad about not getting to watch TV anymore today. I get that feeling. I love TV, too!”