Truth #2: The need is real – whether we address it or not
When Jeff and I spoke at Love Church, we first did a Friday night/Saturday morning marriage conference, then a sermon interview at the Sunday worship services (a common format for us).
For the marriage conference, senior pastor Todd Doxzon and his wife Denise wanted one of our talks to be around sexual intimacy. As Todd told me, “We wanted you to address it – and we wanted to address it. We’ve got a shepherd’s responsibility. It’s like with money. Because some pastors have abused that topic, some swing the other way and don’t talk about it. But then we’re not equipping the saints to understand biblical stewardship. It’s the same here. It can feel awkward at first, but we’ve seen the incredible fruit that comes from shepherding and equipping the saints on this topic.”
After our talk on intimacy, we invited attendees to submit live, anonymous questions through our polling app – and Todd and Denise joined us onstage to answer them.
We were flooded with questions. Here is a tiny sampling:
- After I became a mom my sex drive really went down due to being too tired and not having body confidence. How can I build this back up?
- How often should we have sex?
- Is it okay to feel uncomfortable with/not want to do something in the bedroom that my spouse wants?
- How do you authentically honor your spouse sexually if you struggle with having lost your sex drive completely?
- Is it okay to want to be playful, where sex is fun and not just “serious” or “biblical”?
- When the Bible says “submit to your spouse” does that mean I’m obligated to have sex even when I’m not feeling it?
- How do I navigate my emotions knowing some of my husband’s struggles with pornography?
- How can we continue to have honest conversations about sex in small groups within the church?
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