Closing Our Money “Worry Windows”

Tip #4 – Don’t soothe your worries by making your spouse’s worse  

When we enter marriage, we are not only called to listen to our spouse’s priorities but to honor their vulnerabilities. Remember … they have worries and insecurities, too. And we have to learn what those are and look for ways to honor our spouse rather than making their worries worse.  

When Lone Ranger Avery put herself into her husband’s shoes, she realized that he was totally committed to providing for and protecting his family – and for him, this was best accomplished with disciplined financial management. Avery learned she needed to communicate her desires before impulsively acting on them. She learned that, even if she was closing a worry window of her own (no baby of mine is going to be cold in a drafty house!), it might sometimes come at the expense of throwing open a worry window for Liam (how will we pay for this and still stick to the budget we discussed?). And if so, that was a clue and a cue for them to talk things through together. 

By learning how to talk through both partner’s worries, Avery and Liam are now on their way to the best part of doing money management well: taking something that could have been a source of conflict, and turning it into a source of connection. 

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