How to Deal with Difficult People (part 1)

Step 2: Recognize it’s biblical to be kind to difficult people

 We mentioned Romans 2:4 at the top of the blog. It is the kindness of God that leads us to repentance. It’s not His might that melts our hearts. It’s His kindness. This is a biblical principle that everyone who is made in the image of God can apply. Being firm, having boundaries, and displaying strength are all important in different situations, but always with kindness.

Kindness is what softens people. It’s never our strictness and strength that changes hard hearts. These things may be needed, but what softens their heart is our kindness in the middle of it.

Our friends Scott and Sherry Jennings opened up about this very thing on a recent episode of our new podcast. Kindness revolutionized their marriage. (If you are dealing with conflict, controlling behaviors, anger, and even infidelity in your marriage, you will be deeply encouraged by the Jennings’ story. Give that episode of our podcast, I Wish You Could Hear This a listen.)

And I (Shaunti) will never forget the woman—called Maggie in my devotional, Find Hope—who approached Jeff and me at a marriage event to describe a hopeless situation she had lived with for years. Her mother-in-law was extremely difficult (and had been damagingly critical of her husband in his formative years). Yet, Maggie felt God nudging her to love her. Of course, Maggie asked God how on earth that was possible.

What would you do if you loved her?  was the question Maggie sensed God asking her. Go and do that.

So, Maggie started offering updates on the grandkids. Calling her mother-in-law just to check in on her. Trying new recipes with her. And wouldn’t you know it? Positive traits started peeking through the negative ones. The mom-in-law softened.

Kindness won.

We’ll be back next week with two more steps that will help you see difficult people through a different lens—as well as capture a vision for the lasting benefits that will be yours when you simply choose to be kind.

Do you want Shaunti to share these life-changing truths at your church or event? Send us a speaking inquiry request today!

Improve your relationships with simple, proven steps to help you thrive in your life, faith and relationships by listening to Shaunti’s new podcast, I Wish You Could Hear This.

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