Expectation #2: She’ll give me the space I need to process conflict.
His bold assumption: When she walks away from an argument, she’s giving me space.
Reality: She wants you to follow her!
What to do: In most cases of conflict, guys appreciate the opportunity to pull away for a time. So if your wife pulls away, you might think, “Thank goodness, I need to get alone to process.” Or “Whew, I’m so tired, and now I can get some sleep and think about it in the morning.” But before you retreat happily to your man cave or roll over to your side of the bed, abort, abort, abort!
Instead: Engage with her, if only for 30 seconds to offer quick reassurance. This can be as simple as, “I need time away from the conversation to think. Let’s pick this back up tomorrow morning. But in the meantime, listen, I love you and we’ll figure this out.” You will get the space you need to process, and your wife won’t stay up all night questioning whether your relationship is okay.
I’ll be back next week with the final two expectations that guys will want to examine, and with a wrap-up for this four-part series for newlyweds.
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