Harry Potter and the Infiltration of the Catholic Church

As much as Covid, Racism, Riots, and the Upcoming Election are all very important I think it is high time we remember the real problem and danger to America and the world.

This alarming video just recently appeared on Youtube.

And this disturbing news from Forbes

Harry Potter fans in the U.K. can now purchase Butterbeer—one of the most iconic commodities of J.K. Rowling’s Wizarding World—in bottles, launched today at select Wizarding World locations.

Imagine promoting alcoholism and colostral consumption all in 1 bottle of deliciousness.

Recently the Catholic Bard has been given a secret confession obtained by the Papal Swift Swiss Ninjas. How they got this message is a mystery, like the prayers of the rosary, but I’m sure it was obtained by moral Catholic guidelines. If you call being tied to a chair and having to listen to modern Catholic Worship Music for 8 hours moral.  My fellow Catholics and Christians, you will learn from this secret confession exactly why your suspicions about Harry Potter are true and why the Potter Haters are 110% correct and people like Potter lover Brandon Vogt is full of Chocolate Frogs.

It’s True.

We Neo-Catholics at the Secret Society of Modernists and Masons (SS O MAM) have a plan for destroying culture.

Our only agenda, get society, especially those darn Catholics to like Harry Potter. That is enough. LOL, LOL, LOL. Also get Catholics to fight about Harry Potter. LOL LOL LOL. Just the very words ‘Harry Potter’, will cause the ‘Christians of Love’ to become the Christians of ‘Condemnation and Ridicule Extraordinaire’ or CARE.

Never mind about getting folks to disrespect and trash our current pope. No not Benedict XI, Pope Michael, Pope Pius XIII  or  Cardinal Duretti.

Never mind getting them to say raciest, antisemitic or just dumb uncharitable things. Or statements like this…

By restoring the elementary good custom of wearing shoes indoors, we can make no small progress in defeating the casual Revolution that is continually destroying what little remains of the dignity of mankind. In doing so, we will restore some dignity to ourselves, our families, and our homes.
M. WilliamsPlease, Do Not Remove Shoes Indoors (13 May 2020) reignofmary.blogspot.com (Not Satire)

Never mind getting them to ignore legit church councils like The Old Catholics did over Vatican 1. Or the more recent one.

NOOOO.  Harry Potter is the way to destroy the world and the church. LOL LOL LOL. Double destruction if they read or watch Harry Potter while doing yoga.

Pope Francis I’m told (source unknown, but maybe an exorcist) was found under the secret code name MugglePope777 posting his HP fan fiction online. ‘Harry Potter and Death Eaters in the Vatican.’ It would be very easy to get people riled up by making them think Pope Francis is going to make it a sacred text equal to the bible. LOL LOL LOL. 

Pope Francis talking about his HP fan fiction to some admiring fans.

Our mole inside the white house overheard these words from President Trump.

I like Harry Potter. Harry Potter is a good book. I know good books. I write good books. Just look at my bestseller ‘The Art of the Deal’. Good books are a part of the Trump white house. But if I were to write Harry Potter it would be a better book and would have sold more copies then it already has.

Ignore stupid fluff like the ‘Chilling Adventures of Sabrina’, with actual occult and sexy stuff, or the WB reboot of lame tween teen themed Charmed. That’s not as dangerous as popular literary displays of magic aimed at children. And have them ignore Japanese depictions of witches such as Kiki’s Delivery Service and Mary and the Witch’s Flower. The reason is because that their just too darn good and they might take away from our Harry Potter plan. It’s not good to multitask with more than one evil scheme at a time. Everyone at our evil organization has ADHD OK. Don’t judge.

Unfortunately, the results of the Harry Potter infiltration are not as good as we had hoped. Our SS O MAM quidditch team is terrible and too many Tradies refuse to own a house-elf unless it speaks Latin. And people who use our demonic spells only manage to set houses on fire and turn people into rabbits for several minutes. On the plus side, many more people can do magic by wiggling their noses.

Who cares that Children’s author Philip Pullman said ‘I hope the wretched Catholic church will vanish entirely’. We want to focus on J.K. Rowling who said, “To me, the religious parallels have always been obvious,” But I never wanted to talk too openly about it because I thought it might show people who just wanted the story where we were going.” It doesn’t matter that she has a Christian background and no documentation being a witch because she’s a secret witch, which Fr. So and So found out after he asked a demon under the command of Christ to tell him so. And of course, a demon can’t lie under oath, a forgotten Catholic dogma that even the magisterium doesn’t know about.

So, to wrap this up, I confess to you SS O MAM’s secret plan. It is going to be much more effective than the Lord of the Rings Tarot Cards or the creepy lion from Narnia. Hopefully, that Catholic pop YouTube star will not document this devious plan in his sequel to his hit book. It would be called  ‘Harry Potter and the Infiltration of the Catholic Church’.

P.S.

We need people to stay away from stuff like

Harry Potter and the Beatific Vision

It might get people thinking about God and spiritual things.