Real Love Such as This is Intense: A New Mother Reflects

Real Love Such as This is Intense: A New Mother Reflects June 25, 2012

Though she’s primarily known as a talented singer/songwriter that’s appeared on “American Idol” and is currently a part of the duo “Jack and White” (who I’ve written about here), Brooke White is also one of my favorite bloggers. She’s got a wise, witty, loquacious style that makes you feel like you’re listening to a really interesting friend who knows how to tell a good story.

One month ago, Brooke gave birth to her first-born child, a girl named London. I knew the experience and the emotions would eventually be turned into a blog post, and today is the day. Full of a new mother’s excitement, joy and awe, Brooke shares a heartfelt reminiscence about London’s birth, the ensuing weeks, and her husband Dave’s new talent as a “baby whisperer.”

Say a prayer for this happy new family, and read some of Brooke’s reflections below:

I’m infatuated, deeply, and it’s a bit ridiculous how much I love to just look at her, study her features, kiss her cheeks over and over, and hold her as tight as I can with out completely squishing her delicate newborn frame. I cry a lot, like the day she turned a whopping week old, or when her yucky little remnant of her umbilical chord fell off to reveal the perfect belly button, or when I saw real tears stream down her tiny face a few days ago. While hormones and exhaustion are likely the culprit, they can’t take all the blame… real love such as this is intense.

As Ron Burgandy so poignantly and dramatically exclaimed, “I feel like I’m in a glass case of emotion!!” I am happy, I am sad, I am worried, there is constant ache, a vulnerability and a confusing melancholic joy that I can’t even describe. I suppose this is why it has taken me so long to write about it, which I was certain that I would do nearly the second I came home from the hospital. I wanted to get it all down, while it was fresh and new and powerful. But… I just haven’t been able to find those words to articulate this kind of love, I still can’t, and I couldn’t find the desire to sit in front of a computer when I could be sitting in front of my beauty of a baby…

….The last four weeks have been nothing short of the most euphoric, challenging, exhausting, painful, happy, heavy, lonely, overwhelmingly joyful time of our existence. The spectrum of emotion is vast and extreme. It’s amazing what a body can do in just over nine months, and though it might not ever be what it once was, is healing and changing almost daily and I am grateful for the miracle it produced. Nursing has been harder then I hoped, hurts like heck and yet is truly heavenly in those moments when it is working, it’s getting better everyday. Dave Ray CPA, I’ve never loved and appreciated him more. He told me before she was born “I’m gonna be a good dad, I think it’s going to be what I’m good at”… but he’s way better then good, he’s amazing. Turns out he’s a full on baby whisperer. It’s remarkable to see this sports loving, hockey playing, accountant turn into a swaddling, diaper changing, lullaby singing super dad. The day he had to go back to work I fell apart. Parenting is a team sport…

Read the whole thing at Brooke’s blog.

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