John and Jan (real people but not their real names) are some friends of ours who started out as a happy couple, but over the years they fell in to a rut. Their laughter started fading and their words to one another went from kind and compassionate to harsh and critical. Most their conversations turned into arguments. They talked badly about each other when the other wasn’t around. They’d even vent online about each other’s shortcomings.
John and Jan were in a cycle of negativity that’s hard to break. They weren’t sure how they got into it and there weren’t sure if there was a way out. Their frustration and exhaustion with each other seemed overwhelming, but they decided that they didn’t want to keep living that way. They knew their only two options were divorce or making massive changes in their marriage. They thankfully opted for the latter and over a period of time, by applying the principles below, they’ve managed to reimagine their relationship and create the marriage they both wanted and needed.
I talk to so many couples who are stuck in a cycle of negativity. All their conversations seem to lead straight to arguments, and the tone of their marriage has become negative, sarcastic or mean-spirited. If your marriage is stuck in a rut like this, please don’t lose hope! Before reading the list below enter your email address here to receive our free new videos to help struggling couples start restoring the relationship.
Here are four keys to help you and your spouse STOP arguing and START building a stronger marriage (in no particular order)…