How to be Supermom 101

If you’re like me, you’ve got 429 things to do and not enough time in the day to do them all. Gotcha–these tongue in cheek cliff notes are for you. Begin by prioritizing your list of things to do, probably into groups of one hundreds (you can discard the rest).

The first 100 should all have to do with the safety and health of your loved ones. This would include any spouses or kids. 1) Focus on keeping them alive with some food on the breakfast and dinner table. If you have toddlers or teenagers at home, unfortunately you will need to add a couple of extra meals/snacks to your daily chores. I know a few amazing moms who can provide nutritious and healthy food servings consistently, but this is not my strength given the other 399 chores that I’m juggling. So, if you can’t fit this into your budget or schedule, don’t stress out over it.

2) There is no need to hover over kids every second of the day. After all, from day one, you are training them to detach from you and find their own superpowers when they go into the world. Therefore, give toddlers and PKlers your most confident, “I believe in you” look as you stand close by pretending not to panic while allowing them to explore and learn. For school age kids, let them do their own homework and receive their own grades while you listen supportively, assisting if asked. Your homework is to run an FBI check on their friends and families before you agree to any outing that is outside of your supervision. Best bet: Invite their friends over for play dates so that you can ensure their safety. Since your kids are within earshot, you can note areas that need further parental training. Teenagers whom you’ve bravely and patiently coached throughout the years on how to tackle life’s awesome possibilities with care no longer need that third eye on the back of your heads. However, they do need lots of prayers.

3) Remember to always keep your kids and Big Kid warm (ancient Chinese secret) with socks at night, slippers on cold floors, and extra layers when they go out.

If it’s hot outside, they can always remove any excess clothing. If they refuse or hide that coat you’ve lovingly shoved into their hands, hey, you did your part. Have lots of essential oils, warm soup, and snugly blankets ready to nurse them back to health.

For the next 100, keep the father of your children happy. Whether he is step, half, ex, foster, adoptive, biological, live-in, or honorary, treat him with the utmost respect afforded to any adult who is worthy of your love. And always remember that if this Big Kid is happy with you, your kids will behave much better. So keep him fed, warm, and smiling. Just like when you were dating, greet him enthusiastically with a kiss when he comes and goes from your sight (ancient Biblical advice). This will prevent you from becoming his mother, or the sad, lonely wife. He might even co-parent with you, or bring home enough bacon from his sweat and labor of love for you to hire an average housekeeper (don’t hire a beautiful, young one or she might outdo you in your spousal loveliness).

The third set of steps requires that you be sweet to your little ones. Some of us go to the office, while others home school, or work mainly in the home, so we have no time to be pleasant. Nonetheless, repeat to yourself, “I love my kids. They are such precious gifts to me, just like the Big Love of my life.” When they disobey, disrespect, create huge chaotic mess, or cannot follow simple rules and orderly routines you had so thoughtfully crafted for them, simply smile and say, “I love you, too, Sweetie!” Refuse to allow their brutish behaviors drag you down from your peaceful, lovely existence. That beautiful, Southern Living home that you’ve been dreaming about since these home wreckers came into your life? Enjoy browsing through those pages oohing and aahing at the product of someone else’s marketing job. As for you, the bright smiles shining forth from your kids’ full hearts are your trophies, Mom. One day those ungrateful beings will learn of your true identity, but until then, let the chips fall where they may. We can lead a horse to water, but only if we are honey. Making them drink that wonderful, nourishing beverage in the backdrop of a peaceful, green pasture is not in your job description. But more power to you if you have this amazing ability-I want to read YOUR cliff notes!

Finally, for items #301-400 on your to-do list, try incredibly hard to be kind to yourself, Supermom. Yes, you are already the Superhero that your kid needs. So who cares that you can’t suck in your belly flab like that supermodel neighbor with three beautiful, well behaved kids? It’s an illusion! If she is not a walking product of photoshop (like my pic above), complete with an expensive tummy tuck, then those model kids are actors! Bless that precious family that keeps us all motivated. Remind yourself that reality TV is not reality. Stop comparing the awesomeness in you to the facade of someone else. I repeat, stop feeling inadequate. Just stop it, now, for your sake. Your kids love you and need you to be strong, teachable, and approachable.

Supermoms make one exception to this self loathing rule–when it helps a fellow girlfriend feel better about herself, then pile it on (but not within earshot of those untrained, immature ears). Kids do not need a nasty, critical mother who is hell bent on out-cooking her friend’s homemade dishes, or outshining her sister-in-law’s benevolence. So the next time you are tempted to beat yourself up for some supposed flaw, imagine your child standing right there overhearing your badgering self-talk, observing your defeated body language and gross facial expressions. This awareness will put a pleasant smile on your face and sweetness to your tone.

Throughout the day’s hard work, moms may feel depleted. Quickly retreat to your charging room—the bathroom or closet.

When you emerge, be sure to recover right away by melting steel with a sincere apology. After all, even Superkids have hearts that need repairing. Today was a dud and your cape did not open? Rest assured that all superpowers recharge at 200% overnight and you are ready to tackle the next day. You know you got this fourth set of skills down when you hear your adolescents or teens parrot back to you, “You are so precious and we love you, too, Mom!” Younger prodigies who are not as articulate will simply smother you with wet kisses and big bear hugs. If you are lucky, they might even let you wipe those precious tears, but only if you exhibit awesome soothing powers. Yes, let that radiance flow out from within you, Mom!

The other 29 things or so, just forget about them. The more super you are, the more forgetful you become–it’s an inverse relationship, scientifically proven at my house. Forgot that the over baked chicken is still in the oven? Welcome to the club! You are on your way to pick up those dreaded socks, get distracted with yet another job, and finish neither one? That’s ok, your cool composure will allow the kids to feel that you are up to something. Don’t know where the heck you put the keys or even the exact name of that child in front of you-give yourself a break, you are multi-multi-tasking. We even forget our kids’ many transgressions-all 490 of them, in fact. To sum up, if your kids are alive, fed, hubby likes you, you can discipline firmly but sweetly, and you’ve mastered the art of forgetfulness, you’ve got my admiration. So those last twenty-some tasks are not that important, and all Supermoms know that. Even you.

Here’s to conquering the world with you one family at a time,

-Kim

P.S. Oh, I forgot one final thing: All Supermoms have the keen visual acuity to recognize each other a mile away. Whether your disguise is disheveled hair and burp stained tops or you prefer the clean, crisp dress suit look, your “S” is shining through. I see you!