I once met a woman who, through her trickling tears, defiantly declared, “I am stronger now than ever before… I’m learning to be strong for me and my children.” But the kind of strength she was referring to was not the kind spoken by St. Francis de Sales: Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength. No, the strength this woman exhibited was the type seeped deep with stubbornness, “woe is me” mentality, full of resentment,... Read more
It is the first week of summer break and I’m ready to send the kids back to school. In fact, I was ready after the first day when my sons were bickering incessantly, the oldest provoking the younger ones, the little ones not responding sweetly, patiently, or wisely as I had advised, but brushing aside all my admonishing, and each of the three taking turns lashing out at me instead of de-escalating. With more than two kids, their alliances with each... Read more
The numbers roughly correlates to the years these lessons were learned. #1 You can be a professional and one who benefits from the service of a professional, all within the same day. Before the days of rampant cell phone usage, clinicians had to wear beepers. There’s nothing like getting paged while sitting on the counseling sofa with your husband to impress the therapist. #2 At times you are at the peak, and the next moment you’re in a valley. Life is a... Read more
It’s so hard to do life without struggles. Ask anyone if they have ever felt pain or grief and the answer will be a consistent, if not resounding, “yes.” We might be tempted to ponder, how can I go through this journey without suffering? Yet, the more realistic question might be, how do I cope with life’s trials the best way possible? When illness or disease hits, finances go sour, relationships become broken, or our plans just fall apart unexpectedly, people... Read more
America is currently debating on LGBTQ issues (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and the latest term is “queer”) as it relates to a private business’ legal rights, public bathroom policies, and a counselor’s ethical duties. As a social worker, a counselor, a private business owner, a parent, and a consumer of public services, I have some insights into these hotly contested topics. As an Asian American, a former refugee, an immigrant- turned-citizen, agnostic-turned-Christian, and a Californian-turned-Texan, I can tackle the different, oftentimes controversial... Read more
Yesterday evening, I saw many friends at the pool. Our kids were swimming at a mock meet. Kristin, Sarah, Amy, and I were in conversation and somehow the topic turned to the foods we feed our families while leading busy lives. I was complimenting Amy, a work-at-an-office mom, because her husband had just passed on a half eaten granola bar to her. It jarred my memory of the healthy snacks that I had intended to pack for my family also,... Read more
Earlier this week, I saw a posting of a flyer shared by several mommy friends on my Facebook feed. It seemed like exactly what I had been trying to do– implement some order and structure in our chaotic household while teaching kids responsibility. What’s a wise parent to do but apply it to her family? So, I immediately added my “like” to the 23K likes on that posting (it also had 126K shares), and even printed it out (see exhibit... Read more
So you’ve read How to be Supermom 101 and now your kids are fed, safe, and healthy. Their dad is not actively sabotaging your parenting work, and you’ve been kind to yourself mentally. But you have this nagging feeling that your cape is not flowing as beautifully as it should. Your “S” is not shining as bright as you’d think. In fact, much of the time, you’re wondering if you’ve really made Supermom status or if you’re being delusional? This... Read more
I’ve met some very powerful, influential, and even a few wealthy people both in my personal life and in my professional work as a counselor in private practice. You would be surprised at how they struggle. They also have weaknesses. Beneath their tough, polished veneer (what Brene Brown calls “armor”), these successful grownups are just emotive children like you and I, yearning for acceptance and approval. If the rich and powerful are struggling, then that tells us that money and... Read more
The Christian social worker might believe that God made people in his image. S/he might also believe that a personal relationship with Christ through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit is truly what everyone needs. She might believe in traditional biblical values, that marriage should be defined as between a man and a woman, the way God first designed the institution of marriage (Genesis 2:22-24). She might even teach her own children against pre-marital sex, fornication, adultery, and other forms of sexual... Read more
East Meets West Social Worker
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