It’s hard. No one want to do hard things, especially if this hard thing has not been modeled for us by our parents. Growing up, I rarely heard my mother or father say that they have misbehaved or were wrong. Nada. Zilch. Crickets (to read about how I overcame this part of my upbringing, check out the chapter called Thank Your Way Out in my book). Never mind all the wonderful praises we read on social media of other people’s... Read more
If you read Christian news recently, then you might have heard that the latest marriage turmoil belongs to none other than the Proverbs 31 ministry lady. I was devastated when I first read the news on social media. Immediately, I reached out to Christian girlfriends to process my grief, but though they were sad, it seemed that the news did not hit them as hard as it hit me. Then I realized that it was because I connected with the... Read more
“The most dangerous ideas in society are not the ones being argued, but the ones that are assumed.” -C.S. Lewis Life is full of risks whether or not we take them on fully, directly, or consciously. There are a number of actions that can contribute to the fear of being judged, of having our private thoughts and feelings exposed, or of being known but misunderstood by others. Then there’s also the fear of hurting or offending people. When we dialogue... Read more
As a young Chinese-Vietnamese girl of seven in 1979, I did not know that I was going to meet my future husband when the Lutheran church in a small Texas town where his father pastored decided to serve God by sponsoring a refugee family from among the thousands of boat people escaping the former South Vietnam. Just over two decades later, East “met” West at the altar, and today makes 16 years that Philip and I said “I do.” Life... Read more
Is a picture really worth a thousand words? If you ask me, it’s more like 70-79 words. A family picture falls short, way, way short of the reality of our a busy, hectic, dysfunctional, imperfect life. It doesn’t tell the whole story. Despite how it looks, a more accurate caption for this picture might be “The Worst Mother’s Day Ever!” In fact, those were the words uttered by my sweet, caring, but imperfect husband on Mother’s Day earlier this week. He was trying... Read more
Moms, you are awesome! Give yourself a pat on the back for 1. Getting up this morning so that your kids know that they can get up and get going, too; 2. Showering, eating, and using the bathroom (taking care of your physical needs) so that you are healthy enough to care for your dependents, young ones or older family members; 3. Enjoying positive thoughts and feelings about yourself (taking care of your emotional needs) so that you can nurture... Read more
Christians have a saying that as humans, we are “broken” people. We are “fallen” creatures. We perpetually “miss the mark [of perfections].” We “sin.” Our hope is not in our perfected skills, polished performances, or natural abilities, but in our loving Redeemer. Just because we have faith and intimacy with a good, loving, all knowing God does not mean that we are Him. Mothers, fathers, and other caregivers are no different. Though we are in a position of authority over... Read more
By now, you probably have seen the viral video clips of the United airplane passenger being forcibly removed from his purchased seat by flight attendants and law enforcement. You might have also noted that he’s an Asian American physician, self identified as Chinese, but immigrated from Vietnam. More research on this current hot topic will reveal alleged reports of his dark past. Instead of the model minority story, you might have read that this father of five and grandfather was allegedly... Read more
Dear Readers, If you are a married woman of a number of years, chances are that these thoughts have crossed your mind: Am I being a good wife? Good enough? How can I be a better wife? What tricks or skills am I missing? And the ultimate question–Did I marry the wrong person for me? Many years ago, I picked up a book by Kevin Lehman called Have A New Husband By Friday. I shared about this fact when my... Read more
Help kids figure out the path of least resistance whenever they are embroiled in an interpersonal relationship with someone who seems as scary as a bully. So, you’ve been fortifying your daughter’s self esteem in part 1 of this 4 part series. And, like myself, you’re constantly working hard at making home a “safe place” for your son to be himself and still learn about the limits, rules, and boundaries of real life. Thirdly, you’ve modeled for your kids how to regulate their moods instead of... Read more
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