“WHARTON FEARS A COUP”: So, I have become addicted, not to “The Apprentice” itself (sigh of relief) but to its recaps at Television Without Pity. I don’t actually want to watch the show, at all–it’s hard to imagine something less fun than watching real people really fight and bitch and crack under pressure–but one of my many, many obsessions (and possibly the one least satisfied by contemporary literature and pop culture) is team leadership. That’s why I like the X-Men. That’s one reason I really love DVD commentaries, and by far the biggest reason I love “making-of” documentaries. And if you remove the crass materialism, team leadership is what “The Apprentice” is about.

Reading these recaps has made me laugh out loud in recognition (some of the contestants’ fights replicate, almost word-for-word, fights I’ve seen) and notice personality types (like The Guy Who Leads Through Sports Metaphors–actually, these guys tend to be good leaders, because they usually bounce back really fast when they’re knocked down). It’s made me think hard about the moments where my own leadership has been signally lacking. I let myself cave to peer pressure way too often, and I still need to work on taking criticism as a judgment of my performance in a specific instance rather than a personal attack; I especially need to work on taking criticism rationally when it’s unaccompanied by praise and reassurance. I’m fascinated by the different ways of handling postmortems; by the fact that some people just don’t get that you have to have fun in order to sell/persuade; by the examples of appropriate vs. inappropriate ways of seeking comfort when you feel low. (Appropriate = go to your closest friends, or to someone who has specifically offered a shoulder to lean on. Inappropriate = demand that everyone, or most people, or the leaders, or anyone who hasn’t specifically taken on this role with you, deal with your personal heartaches and problems.)

“You don’t have to be asked. To do a job, you really don’t have to be asked.” –Donald Trump, and yeah, I can’t believe I’m quoting this dude any more than you can.