Mind you, there are some who think soccer is super. These are the ones who charge, biff, tackle and slam the leather first-time into the net ect. They hav badges and hav a horible foto taken at the end of term with their arms folded and the year chalked upon the pill. This foto cost there parents 7/6 on the skool bill and i hope they think it is worth it. i would not care for grabber’s face on my walls, that’s all.

Of corse i’m no good… no, i mean it… i simply am no good… no, please, grabber, my body-swerve… well, it go in the wrong direction… o, i sa, no… wot a nice thing to hear about myself… if i try hard i’ll be in the seconds! And then how much further on would i be in the career of life, eh?
–Geoffrey Willans and Ronald Searle, Molesworth Back in the Jug Agane… channeling a particular kind of soccer-related childhood bitchiness to which I was always prone.