The rumor has been going around that this new liturgy will be replacing Divine Service One in the Lutheran Service Book. It dates, though, from April 1. That is to say, April Fool’s Day. (HT: Todd Wilken.) Still, I suspect this order of service will inspire both outrage and the desire to adopt it:
OUR SERVICE
Setting One
GREETING AND AFFIRMATION
A MEDLEY OF MOOD-SETTING SONGS is sung. Stand spontaneously during the final Guitar Solo
The sign of applause may be made by all in gratitude to the PRAISE BAND.
P. Good Morning!
C. Good Morning.
P. Aw, come on now. Say it like you mean it. Good Morning!
C. Good Morning!
P. Give yourselves a hand.
Applause
MESSAGE
Silence for Preparation of the Power Point Projection.
P. Let’s lift our hearts to God in prayer.
A MOOD-SETTING MELODY is played quietly in the background. This MELODY continues through the prayer and for 2 minutes into the MESSAGE. It begins again 2 minutes before the end of the MESSAGE.
The Pastor speaks an EXTEMPORANEOUS PRAYER.
P. Lord, we just want to thank you…
…because You’re an awesome God. And all God’s people said…
C. Amen.
P. Aw, come on now. Say it like you mean it.
C. Amen!
A RELEVANT, GENERALLY INSPIRING MESSAGE is spoken by the Pastor, as well as a series of ANNOUNCEMENTS AND PROMOTIONS, concluding with another EXTEMPORANEOUS PRAYER.
MORE AWESOME MUSIC
A MEDLEY OF INCREASINGLY UPBEAT SONGS is sung. Standing Ovation
P. Have a great week everybody!
Applause
P. Aw, come on now. Clap like you mean it!
Applaud until the Pastor smiles and signals to stop.
P. Give yourselves a hand.
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