The beards of the Red Sox

I now like the Red Sox.  How can you not pull for a team whose players have grown such serious beards?  These aren’t soul patches or little goatees.  These are long, bushy, Duck Dynasty kinds of beards.  This is no “chicks dig ’em” kind of fashion–I suspect women aren’t wild about them (correct me if I’m wrong)–but a true man’s kind of statement.  Watching the Red Sox is like seeing Alfred, Lord Tennyson at the plate with Stonewall Jackson on deck.

These are, in fact, a revival of 19th century type beards.  Maybe this will herald a new movement:  neo-Victorianism, complete with a new vogue for Victorian values such as  duty, honor, and sexual propriety.Go here for a guide to the team’s beards.