I chose St. Antony the Great to be my patron saint when I became Catholic. At least, I think I did. Maybe he chose me. Ever since I became Catholic, I have found odd connections I have had with him despite never becoming a monk. I had many reasons for why I picked him. Among them is that the works of St. Athanasius deeply influenced my decision to become Catholic, including his Life of St. Antony. Reading it, I found Antony to be fascinating and inspirational. Antony, and his life, helped me understand the role monks could, and did serve, for the community at large. I saw this in the way Antony lived his life: while he preferred being a hermit, living by himself, he did not give up on his responsibility to others, as can be seen in the way he ministered to Christians in prison or in the way he went to Alexandria to publicly denounce Arianism. Thanks, in part, to my fascination with Antony, and my reading of the Sayings of the Desert Fathers, I was considering the religious life after I graduated college. Later, when I thought about it more, I found many reasons why I knew I would not make a good monk, and so did not go that route.
Ever since my chrismation, despite all the changes that have happened to me in my life, I have felt connected to St. Antony. Often, as I grew in my faith and understanding , the kinds of connections changed, as should be expected. While I did not become a monk, I found much of Antony’s spirituality could be adapted and applied in my life. To embrace that connection I have made with him, I have taken the time to read anything I can which is related to St. Antony, including works and saying attributed to them, from the Letters of St. Antony to what is found in the Philokalia (“On the Character of Men and on the Virtuous Life: One Hundred and Seventy Texts”). This led me to see Antony in a new way, giving me a broader perspective on him than the narrow focus found in Athanasius’s biography. For example, Athanasius talked about the way Antony could not read, and yet, having written letters, it appears he could read and write; both could be true if Athanasius thought the only literacy which mattered was the ability to read and write in Greek and Antony could only do so in Coptic. Reading his letters, it also made it clear to me that Antony was far more educated that what I (and others) assumed after reading Athanasius. What I discovered is that there is an element of Origen’s thought which lies behind Antony’s spirituality. This shows he was far more in tune to the theology and spirituality of his era. Similarly, Antony, like the philosophers of old, like Origen, suggested what is key in life is for us to get to know ourselves, saying if we do that, we will be able to come to know God. I do not know how much he studied, but given that he lived a long time, was often by himself in his cell, and given the kind of literature found in ancient Coptic monasteries, I suspect he ended up being well-read. I also think that he either talked about what he read to others, or else, wrote down comments based upon those readings, comments which are the root source for the text found under his name in the Philokalia. That is, even if the work was put together, added to, and edited by someone else, I do think it is connected to him. I know many scholars dismiss that attribution, but having gone through it, and compared it with what I found elsewhere, I think there something very Antonian in the Philokalia text.
Antony was a spiritual master, a mystic, the kind which, I have been told, is so appreciated by some Sufis that they view him as being a Sufi master who lived before Muhammad. He did not assume himself to be special. He did not believe the monastic path was meant for everyone, nor that it was necessarily a superior way of life. He understood it was needed for some, like himself, while others had their own calling. There are many stories which relate this, among which, we read him telling us about a doctor who was equal to him in merit and holiness, and in another, about a shoemaker that he said was his superior:
They used to say of the holy Antony that he too was once praying in his cell when there came a voice to him saying: “Antony, you have not yet attained the stature of a certain shoemaker in Alexandria.” He rose early, took his palm-wood staff and set out to see him. When he came to the place he went in to him; the man was troubled at the sight of him. The elder said to him: “Tell me what you do.” “I am not aware that I have done anything worthwhile,” he said, “unless it is that, in the morning when I get up or sit down to my work, I say that this entire city, from the least to the great ones, will enter the kingdom by virtue of their righteous deeds, while I alone will inherit punishment because of my sins. I say the same thing again in the evening before I sleep.” On hearing this Abba Antony said: “Truly, you have inherited the kingdom like a fine goldsmith sitting restfully in his house while I, failing in perception, have lived the whole of my time in the desert without catching you up.” [1]
What was key for Antony remains important for us today; we need to get to know ourselves. To do that, we must be humble, for in and through humility, we will be able to engage God, accepting God’s love for us. Much of what we have recorded about him, in his writings and in his talks, is related to this theme. That we are to get to know ourselves, and to do so properly, we must embrace humility. Nonetheless, he also said that we need to find our own path of self-knowledge, that there are times which we must act all by ourselves, without relying upon others as crutches. He indicated that when we seek such self-knowledge, we must also act. We must become holy. That requires us to be selfless and love others. If we have such love, we will desire to become healers, helping those around us; but we must recognize, we can only fulfill that role when we are spiritually well. Otherwise, we likely make things worse:
Abba Antony said: “The fathers of old time went out into the desert. They were healed and became healers; they came back and healed others. But we want to treat others as soon as we come out of the world, before being healed. The illness returns to us; the last state is worse than the first (cf. Mt 12:45; Lk 11:26) and we hear from the Lord: ‘Physician, first heal yourself’ [cf. Lk 4:23].” [2]
This is why every year, when we come to the feast of St. Antony, I reflect upon him and his life. Often, this leads me to write about him. Not always. But when I do, I try to find something new from his wisdom, something which inspires me, and hope the spark which lies behind my writing will help others even as it helped me. Antony serves as a great example of what a Christian should be, someone who knew himself in the Lord. It is what led him to walk with God, and in that walk, to become transformed and made holy. Nonetheless, he would have us realize that his path was his own, and most of us are not called to walk the same path he took. He consistently pointed out how there were many ways to walk with God. Once we understand this, we will have overcome one of the dangers beginners in the spiritual journey have, which is try to make all disciplines the same.
* This Is Another Post From My Personal (Informal) Reflections And Speculations Series
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[1] John Wortley, trans., The Anonymous Sayings Of The Desert Fathers: A Select Edition And Complete English Translation (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2013), 327-9 [N 490].
[2] John Wortley, trans., The Anonymous Sayings Of The Desert Fathers: A Select Edition And Complete English Translation, 485 [N 603].
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