When You Call The Gods… And They Show Up

Over on Threads, I’ve seen several conversations discussing what some are calling “FAFO Paganism and Witchcraft.”

Things like doing divination (especially if someone else is reading for you) and it’s like the cards have a direct line into your soul.

Or doing a spell, deep down expecting nothing, and it works.

Or calling a God you’re not sure even exists and they show up.

And the people doing it get scared.

Sometimes they get so scared they swear off Gods and magic, begging Jesus to forgive them and vowing to never do it again. Or telling themselves there are no such things as Gods or magic and promising to be a good atheist for the rest of their lives.

Some of them end up as the “ex-witches” we see on Christian media every October, telling everyone how dangerous and evil witchcraft is. Yes, some of them are exaggerating for attention, but plenty of them had a real experience and they couldn’t handle it.

They f’ed around and they found out.

The Morrigan can be scary

Some years ago I knew someone who had a first-hand ecstatic experience of the Morrigan. All of a sudden they decided that Gods are just aspects of the human psyche and they have no agency of their own.

Hey, I get it – the Morrigan can be scary. Even if you know her and are in agreement with her virtues and values, an ecstatic experience of her is like being inside a fire hose. Not only are you not in control, you’re not sure control is even possible. And when it ends, you’re trying to figure out what it all means and what you’re supposed to do, because you know perfectly well the Morrigan didn’t jump into you to say “hi, hope you’re doing well.”

But my experiences of the Morrigan are some of the most meaningful of my life. That someone had a similar experience and ran from it instead of embracing it is just sad. They passed up an opportunity for a connection like no other.

Because they were afraid.

The Fair Folk aren’t twee

I know someone else who was in circle with me when the Otherworld was bleeding through and we got a glimpse of some persons who aren’t normally visible in this world. I was fascinated. And I was cautious – I pay attention to what Morgan Daimler has to say about such things. But not everyone reacted the same.

Let’s just say they were rattled. And then they went on a cleansing spree, using the metaphysical equivalent of Roundup. The next time I visited them, their house felt as sterile as a hospital operating room. And they didn’t want to participate in any more rituals like that.

Which, I suppose, is fine. This isn’t for everyone. It’s never been for everyone. That’s why we have witches and shamans and mystics and priests – religious and magical specialists who do the kinds of things most people don’t want to do… or at least, that most people don’t want to spend the time and effort it takes to do these things well.

It would be different if they said “you know, this just isn’t for me.” Or even “I know what I experienced, but deep down I really believe the Gods are one and not many.” But when people say they want to be a witch or a Druid or a Heathen, and take steps on that path, and find it fulfilling, it’s disappointing to see them abandon it out of fear.

Their life, their call.

And also, FAFO.

Sometimes they disguise themselves for very good reasons

I’m convinced Cernunnos has been in my life since I was a very small child. You don’t need a God to appreciate wild places, but he’s the reason I felt safe and protected in the woods, an environment many people find frightening.

I’m also convinced he knew what he was doing by not revealing himself to me until I was much older. If, at eight years old, I had seen a spiritual person who looked like a man with antlers on his head, it’s likely I would have assumed it was the Christian devil. I had no context for any other interpretation.

But I was eight years old.

Nominal deism doesn’t prepare you for this

Let’s be honest: religious and magical experiences are scary. They always have been – read the stories our ancestors told about such things, from virtually every religious tradition in the world.

I think it’s even scarier in our time. Most of us live our entire lives thinking that humans are the biggest baddest things in the universe, and then you have an encounter that shatters that illusion. We go from what I’ll call “nominal deists” (we believe there are Gods or a God, but they mostly stay out of our way) to being face to face with a Battle Goddess. If that doesn’t scare you at least a little you’re probably not paying attention.

The impact of Dante, Faust, and Left Behind

I think the biggest problem the FAFO witches and Pagans have – particularly those who revert to Christianity and end up as ex-witches – is the problem of an unexamined worldview. A worldview is your fundamental assumptions about the world and how it works. So many people come into Paganism and witchcraft and they never deal with their religious baggage – with the leftovers of what they were taught as children.

You grow up hearing Christianity preached over and over again, and you believe what you’re told because that’s what you do when you’re four or five or eight years old. Even if you don’t consciously and intentionally affirm all the statements of faith, the concepts make their way into the recesses of your psyche. And they stay there until and unless you actively remove them.

And it’s not just the creeds and the scriptures. It’s also the non-canonical stories like Dante’s Inferno, Milton’s Paradise Lost, Faust, and in modern times, Left Behind. It’s the horror movies where vampires are repelled by crosses and witches really are “in league with the devil.” We tell ourselves that’s all fiction, and for the most part it is. But it combines with the “official” teachings to create a model of the world we use to interpret out experiences.

Our mainstream society tells us that witchcraft isn’t real, and that the only God is distant and uninvolved – nominal deism again. So why not f’ around? It’s all in your head, right?

And then FA leads to FO and you’re confronted with something that nominal deism – much less atheism – can’t explain. And so you fall back on what you were told as a child. “Oh my God it’s all real and this is a demon that’s going to eat me and I’m going to hell!” Or some slightly less dramatic version thereof.

Or occasionally, an even more dramatic version.

The ex-witches, the FAFO Pagans, those who revert – they all demonstrate the importance of examining your foundational assumptions and making sure that what you believe – what you really believe, not what you say you believe – is what you choose to believe and not what you were told you had to believe.

My own experiences – do the work sooner rather than later

The first time my magic worked in a way that could not be attributed to coincidence or confirmation bias, I was thrilled. Something I wanted to be real but was told couldn’t be real was real. No, there wasn’t enough proof to satisfy a skeptic (and if it was they’d just move the goalposts) but it was enough to satisfy me.

The first time I encountered one of the many Gods (that I recognized) was a bit unsettling, but it also felt right. I had had that right feeling before, but I didn’t have a name for it. By that point I had done enough reading, study, and practice to have a framework for understanding it and I didn’t unconsciously fall back on what I was taught in Sunday School.

It was several years later before I had an ecstatic experience of Cernunnos. It was intense, and a little scary. If that had happened much earlier I might have reacted unfavorably. But because I had done the work, I was able to appreciate it for what it was, and it helped confirm that the path I was on – that I remain on – is good, right, and helpful.

Witchcraft is more than black clothes and empowerment

I do my best to stay out of the highly unproductive arguments over who is or isn’t a witch. Even if your idea of witchcraft is strictly aesthetic, if it helps you navigate a difficult and unfriendly world, that’s a good thing and I’m not going to tell you you’re wrong.

At the same time, witchcraft can be so much more.

And sometimes, that more can hit you when you don’t expect it. Magic doesn’t work on belief – it works on action. Do the spells, do them right, and you’ll get results.

Sometimes you get results that are so real and tangible they challenge your assumptions about what is and isn’t possible.

FAFO.

When you find out, I hope it will be a confirmation that all you’ve wanted is real and not something that sends you running back to a religion you left for very good reasons.