Nothing Says Lovin’ Like a Lesbian Minister With an Oven

Nothing Says Lovin’ Like a Lesbian Minister With an Oven September 12, 2009
Anita before

Speaking generally there are two kinds of Christians: Those who believe homosexuality is an affront to God, and those who don’t.

Speaking personally there are, to me, two other kinds of Christians: those who bake and mail me cookies, and those who don’t.

The only Christian who last week happened to bake and mail me cookies was Anita Cadonau-Huseby. I’ve never met Anita; I do know she follows my blog. After reading my recent posts, Question of the Week: Does My Wife Have Cancer?, Waving Into the Dark, and God and I Discuss My Wife Having Cancer, Anita was moved to show her love and support for my wife and me by baking and sending to us an assortment of cookies that were so delicious they’d make Mrs. Field stick her head in the oven.

Anita runs two websites, Grace Unfolding: SisterFriends Together, and The Passionate Plate. “Grace Unfolding” is a site of prodigious resources that exists “to provide a safe and welcoming online faith community for lesbian, bisexual, questioning and transgender women.” “Passionate Plate” is Anita’s personal blog, in which she explores her relationship to food and shares her journey toward a slimmer, healthier her.

Here’s another picture of what Anita used to look like:


But now, thanks to dieting, exercise and (as she requested me to add) God’s help, she looks like this:


Which I think conclusively proves that dieting and exercising can, in fact, turn one blond.

When I emailed Anita that on my blog I was going to share photos of the cookies she’d sent me, she wrote back to say, “The cookie unveiling will be appearing on your blog? I am both thrilled and yet resigned to the fact that someone will assume that gifting cookies is the way we gay people recruit others to our side. No small relief to me that I didn’t make you any rainbow-colored cookies.”

That Anita. Skinny—but still funny!

So, as to my Greatest Mail Day Ever:

Delivered unto my door was this:


Which I opened to reveal this (which is a letter telling us what eight kinds of cookies were contained in the box—white chocolate macadamia nut coconut cookies, chocolate cinnamon refrigerator cookies, snickerdoodles, white chocolate cherry bars, chocolate butterscotch toffee walnut blondie [!] bars, shortbread, triple-layer rice krispy treats, and the completely killer nutella oatmeal thins—and thanking us for letting her share her affection for us in this way, if you can believe the sheer graciousness of this woman):


Beneath the letter were these most Excellent Cookie Containers ever:


Which I immediately attacked with a screw driver to unveil this:


Then I went out to my garage to put my screwdriver back. While I was gone somebody (whom I’m pretty sure was the mailman) broke into my house through the front door, because upon returning from the garage I was traumatized to discover this:


Luckily, though, there were enough cookies left for me to readily dispose of these dramatically gnawed ones without in any way subsequently feeling deprived. Whew. I’m definitely going to have to have a talk with my mailman, though. Could that guy be more of a loser?

Anyway, lemme ask you: Do you think that when I got the box of cookies from a woman whom I know to be a lesbian Christian minister, I, as a good Christian, should have:

A. Refused them on the spot (and thus totally made the day of my miscreant hog of a mailman, but whatever)

B. Opened them, looked at them, ignored their delectable waft, and thrown them into a pit in the ground in which I’d started a fire

C. Eaten them and repented

D. Eaten them and waited for my waistline to exact its own cruel punishment

E. Searched in the Bible for anything Jesus might have said about Christian lesbian ministers baking cookies for people they know through the Internet

F. Shared the cookies with my conservative Christian next door neighbor friends and only after they’ve scarfed on them remember that in telling them about Anita I never mentioned she was a lesbian, and then wonder if I should tell them that, and then feel bad because secretly I kind of want to just to see that look on their face

G. Opened the box, eaten the cookies, shared the cookies, reveled in the spirit in which they were made and given, and figured that if contained anywhere within that experience was a lesson that God wanted me learn, he’ll let me know what it is.

You tell me, if you want. I’m listening.

(The follow-up to this post is today’s Helping Christians Be Bored About Homosexuality Since April 2007.)


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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • What a blessing to have stumbled upon grace in a box of homemade cookies from a woman who chose to love you two in such a tangible way. The older I get as a Christian the narrower my interest in debating anything; the more my interest in simpling receiving God's love and pouring it out to those who need it; and learning how to do this better and better from others who are experts at this process. Like Anita. God bless her, and pass the milk and cookies.

  • Do I have to pick ONE option? Because I would pick F and G. This is notably ironic, since I'm considered "conservative" by most Christian standards…

  • Mark

    Go with G. Whatever your views on homosexuality (and like you, John, I'm in a questioning mode on that one), G is definitely the right choice: honor the gift which was kindly given. Although option F could be fun…

  • Jessica

    I couldn't even bring myself to keep reading after the "killer oatmeal Nutella." Please send recipe. Now. Did you send it yet?

  • Oooh, Oooh! Pick G! Cause that's totally the answer. (I know, cause that guy over there picked it, and he's got an A in the class!)

    Also, while I would warn you of accepting anything from strangers via the internets, And I certainly wouldn't advise you to EAT anything- It's from Anita, So it's safe. And I also heard that homosexual people don't kill people….. or maybe it was they don't get caught killing people? lol

    If we don't get another blog post, I'm going to safely assume you died from Cookies. But, please don't write that on your death certificate, cause the dark side needs the cookies for recruiting. I mean, seriously- recruiting with cake is just… pathetic. And not as effective.

    the rice krispy treats sound delicious!

  • John,

    So I can assume at this point, given this moment to bask in all things Anita, that any pat on the head I might have received from God for an unseen good deed in His name has been rendered null and void. If that's the case then the least you could do is provide a PayPal donation form at the bottom of the post to be directed to my bank account.

    I must make a correction on two erroneous facts you made in the blog:

    thanks to dieting and exercise, she looks like this! Please add "and God's help" to the mix. Seriously. Human endeavor + God's faithfulness. Always a great combination.

    Which I think conclusively proves that dieting and exercising can, in fact, turn one blonde. While this might be true, which I can only speculate is a result of less chocolate going directly to my hair roots what is even more significant is that apparently a significant amount of weight loss helps snap the dieter make to their senses so they quit exposing themselves to a series of really frightening chemical perms.

    Oh, and Barry, it's not actually an "expression of love and caring for a stranger!" but rather for a "strange man." Very strange indeed, and yet, somehow irresistible.

    Jessica, the Nutella Oatmeal Thin recipe is at…. And if you make them try taking two of the cookies and glue them together with a smear of nutella. You'll wanna cry from the goodness.

  • You shouldn't have to deal with such a difficult quandary. Send the remainder to me ASAP and I'll dispose of them properly.

  • Martha Wilson

    First time reader as the link was forwarded by a friend who knew I would love this post…and I do! Thanks for the wonderful laughter and gracious spirit found here. Of course the answer is G_ _. Anita, I'm off to your blogs now!

  • I’d go with G. What a wonderful expression of love and caring for a stranger!

  • Latoya

    Those cookies look good!!!! G!

  • Anita,

    Even if you know him, and thus he isn’t a stranger, the rest of my comment still stands :o)

  • Hjordes

    I choose Option H: Send them to ME.

  • Reading these comments, I’ve laughed. I’ve cried. I’ve locked my door.

  • Thanks, Jock. I appreciate it.

  • Why do I like the F-choice the best? Hey, wait… did you make it the F-choice on purpose or was that Freudian?

  • Ric: You liked choice “F” best because you know that’s what you would have done!

  • Leonardo

    Sorry, delayed by work.

    It's not good a "love carefully concealed". And it is sad that instead of consideration starts the recusations, using the Word out of context. My soul felt sorry to see the justification through works. To see all that (delicious) show of care moved me to think in her soul. 'Twas not a pharisee who spoke about women that "exchanged the natural use for what is against nature" I understand that is a loving God warning us through Paul to repent. That's Love. Hope you don't misundestand my motivations.

  • jockmcgonzo

    Thanks John for once again proving me right in sending my readers (few though they are) your way and for pointing me to another blog to read.

  • Anita


    here's the thing. You can call me a sinner. You can say I'm deceived. But one mistaken assumption I ask you not to make is that I give power to works to justify my life and faith. I would never cheapen the gift of Gods grace via the sacrifice of Jesus by thinking a plateful of cookies would earn me an iota of Gods grace.

  • Leonardo

    I would say thanks and in that spirit I would pray for her begging that Matt 7:21-23 never happen to her.

  • And I’m sure she’d pray the same for you, Leo.

  • (by the way, to save anyone the time, here is Matthew 7:21-23: 21″Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ 23Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'”)

  • (and I must say I WAS wondering when someone was going to chime in about how if Anita doesn’t stop being a lesbian she’s destined for hell. And it took, what … 15 or so comments before that happened? Not bad!)

  • Leonardo

    I mean praying to God

  • F looks good and is VERY funny, but I hope u’ve gone with G…for in due season, HE will let you know if there’s a lesson in it afterall…

    BTW, I just love your blog…been reading for a few days now, since I found it…weldone you!

  • F and G are certainly viable options.

    On the other hand, if you’d like me to stand in for your neighbors, I’d be happy to do so. I’ll even make lots of entertaining faces as you reveal over and over again that the cookies were baked by a woman who happens to be a lesbian … you know, until the cookies run out.

    Leo, we all sure hope that Matthew 23:13-15 never happens to you. To save the time:

    13 “What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you shut the door of the Kingdom of Heaven in people’s faces. You won’t go in yourselves, and you don’t let others enter either.[a]

    15 “What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you cross land and sea to make one convert, and then you turn that person into twice the child of hell[b] you yourselves are!

  • Leonardo

    Anita, Not to you. But there was a question and the, 15…? christian comments, focused only on the cookies, (I have to say they look great), but not on your soul, your life; So, in love, you know about the gift of Gods grace via the sacrifice of Jesus, please repent. If you can do a lot now, imagine after being converted and transformed by His power, and the glory to God and encouragement to other trapped in the same condition.

  • Thanks for the clarification Leonardo. If I may, allow me add a little clarification of my own. I not only know about the gift of God's grace through Jesus but I received that grace as a five year old girl who "gave her heart to Jesus." I have been His since that moment and so I don't need to be converted because God already has me and God's grace continues to transform me all for the purpose of drawing nearer to Him for His glory.

    And Leonardo, seriously, if this life I'm living is being "trapped" in some kind of "condition" then I pray that same condition on everyone because this life I have been given is more than I ever deserved or could have asked for but then that's yet another testimony to the grace of God that gives and gives and gives.

    So there you go. Clarification received. Clarification given. 🙂

  • tarnold777

    To freely receive a gift is maybe more difficult than any of us really know.

    I don’t know Anita, but I’d say she has a joyful countenance. I’d also say that if those baked goods taste 1/4 as good as they look, I just gained a couple pound digesting the jpeg version of Anita’s wares.

    Spreading love is a good thing. It is some of that good spiritual fruit that is often lacking in the lives of people that I have to hope are saved by His grace. Myself included. I know that I stand and I fall. I attempt and I come short. Such is the lot of humankind. We are given one life to use the gifts that God has endowed us with. Simply recognizing that God is Lord is probably one of the greatest gifts we get from Him. I remain fuzzy on the whole predestination vs. foreknowledge…grace vs. choice…choice vs. compulsion. Geez, its a wonder any of us squeek through the gates of heaven.

    Where the heck am I going with this?? Leonardo, I’m the first to admit that its very tempting to pull out the tape measure and call out dimensions. Before taking a gander at Anita’s Blog, my first inclination wasn’t so far from what you posted. But an old stoner construction dude I worked with back in the day said something to me that stuck with me forever. Measure twice—Cut once. Or measure several hundred times and cut only if absolutely essential?

    Cheers and His grace 2 all.

  • Anoda. Thank you; that's kind of you. Tell your friends to also read me. Now. Don't come back unless you bring a crowd. (Sorry. I'm in a mood. THANK YOU.)

    Wickle: You are so the man.

    Tarnold: Nice comment. Thanks. Very good.

    Chuck: Great comment. And, in truth, I've been waiting for Crosswalk to fire me for … well, two years. But they don't. WHY? I flatter myself it's because I don't EVER say anything anyone could really argue with. Ever. Today driving I heard the J. Cash song, "I Walk the Line." Man. Talk about relating.

    Leo: "'Twas"?? Seriously?

  • Leonardo

    That's sad. But there was someone that in a real love spoke to you. "Open rebuke is better Than love carefully concealed". Mine was love. bye.

  • "Only rebuke is better than love carefully concealed" is one of those Bible quotes (it's from Proverbs 27) that I never quite get. Who wouldn't rather have someone secretly love them than outwardly "rebuke" them? It just doesn't make sense.

    I have a choice: someone can, in their heart of hearts, love me—or they can publicly chastise me. Is there ANYONE who would choose the latter over the former? Who'd rather be criticized than LOVED? I don't get it.

  • Leonardo

    My brother, the word is "open" not "only".

  • Yes–I made that mistake. But "open" further makes my point. Would you rather be loved, or—as I said—publicly (which is to say openly) rebuked?

  • You must give the folks at Crosswalk NO END of heartburn, John.

  • Prov. 3-11 is about the LORD's rebuke. Surely you understand the difference between God rebuking someone, and another person doing the same. You surely don't mean to equate (though you have) you rebuking Anita with God rebuking Anita.

    And again, with Psalm 141:5: Should Anita know you, then, as a "righteous" man? Clearly you're claiming that status for yourself. But how is she to know that being rebuked by you is the same as being rebuked by a righteous man? She doesn't know you like that. None of us do. You telling us that your degree of righteousness entitles you to "rebuke" anyone cannot mean to us anything beyond that you want us to believe that's true. And what kind of person is eager to have others acknowledge their moral superiority?

    Think what you do before using the Bible as a mirror you use to reflect back to you your beauty. Its depth and complexity guarantee that in the Bible you can see whatever version of yourself you most care to.

  • Leonardo

    Part of the love is to be rebuked Prov 3:11 pointing to our good. Nobody wants it. Our pride is too sensible, but Psalms 141:5.

    Was great to talk but now I have to go. May God bless you. Phil 4:13

  • Whenever I read discussions like this I am reminded of a pet peeve. I think it was King James who introduced the abbreviated chapter:verse references and pretty much destroyed open conversations about scripture. I like how Jesus and Paul reference scripture… They just include the text of their reference within their conversation. I miss the old days.

    Thanks for looking up the verses for us-er-uhh-this old man.

  • Oh, dude, you have no IDEA how much I hate it when people just drop Ch and verse into one of these comment chains. I would have taken the time to say what each of Leo's scriptural quotes were (and I see now I should have), but figured no one but he would be reading this chain anyway. Anyway, yeah, you said it. It drives me crazy. Seems so arrogant.

  • Yeah, Ric.

  • Leonardo

    Didn't think to trouble you not putting the verses. Never thought that was interpreted as a show of arrogance.

    James 5:19,120 "Brethren, if anyone among you wanders from the truth, and someone turns him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save a soul from death and cover a multitude of sins."

    Psalms 141:5 "Let the righteous strike me; It shall be a kindness. And let him rebuke me; It shall be as excellent oil; Let my head not refuse it. For still my prayer is against the deeds of the wicked."

    Galatians 6:1,2 "Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.

    Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."

    Oooh I'm seeing it : Hey do you think you're spiritual, do you think you're righteous, do you think you're the turner. How arrogant. So there's no a verse about that we must show the sinner the way to the loving Lord?

  • Uh, Leonardo, please be careful about assuming what "the rest of the commentators" think. No fair determining theological positions based on a comment thread about an act of kindness (and kick-ass cookies).

  • Skerrib: Ooooooooo, you cursed.


  • Latoya

    I keep checking to see if a new post is up yet…but I think John is having fun with this one still!

  • Actually, John Shore is working on a book due very soon that is so desperately boring him that he's about to jab his eyes out with a straw at the Starbuck's at which he's now hanging out in the hopes that Much Caffeine will spell the difference between Kill Me Now and Keep Working.

    Maybe I WILL take a moment to write a post. I could use the diversion.

  • Yeah, Ric.

    Every time you do that, I laugh. Thank you.

  • I used to think it interesting that all of the mentions of homosexuality in the bible were male-focused. It confused me for years. Then I finally realized that even prophets can recognize that lesbianism is kinda hot. Because heterosexual males like women, and if a woman likes a woman, then that's just more women getting all womenated, and more of a good thing is always good.

    Or, on the other hand, maybe all of that is insane because although we're sexual beings, very little of our life's minutes and energy are actually spent having sex. So perhaps I shouldn't concern myself with someone's sexuality any more than I concern myself with how they fix their hair in the morning.

    If I err, I choose to err on the side of thinking God is too graceful. It's the opposite of Pascal's Wager, I know, but darn it I just can't manage to view faith as an insurance policy.

  • Ric: I know. I don't know why, but that always cracks me up, too. It's so … stupid. But at least YOU think it's funny, too. I have another thing like that that I always say and that the person I say it to NEVER thinks is funny. For some reason it cracks me up to walk by someone and say mutter to them, "Get to work." It can't be ANYBODY, of course–it has to be someone who, for just a little window of time, is in some kind of service capacity around me. Oh, yikes: so I see this'll take forever to explain. So never mind. Sorry. (But, I used to work with a guy who, every time he walked by my cubicle, would murmer to me, "Get to work." It just CRACKED ME UP. Anyway…. thanks.)

    Michael: If I ever run a Best Comment Ever contest, I'm remembering this one. And if I didn't think it'd come back to bite me on the You Know What, I'd put this on my Facebook quote page: "Heterosexual males like women. And if a woman likes a woman, then that’s just more women getting all womenated, and more of a good thing is always good."

    You're a genius.

  • Leonardo


    Wow! A lot of misunderstanding. All those labels.

    I understand that the Lord use you to be a guide to your neighbor James 5:19,20. I mentioned Psalms 141:5 answering your question about me, “Would you rather be loved, or—as I said—publicly (which is to say openly) rebuked?”. Again, I don’t prefer it, it is not grateful, but needed. Part of our mutual support Gal 6:1,2 and not tha one is greater than the other. it is just like this conversation.

    In your article you exposed a question: What we think about it. what will be our reaction. It was an open (public) question. You knew somebody would bite:

    “(and I must say I WAS wondering when someone was going to chime in about how if Anita doesn’t stop being a lesbian she’s destined for hell. And it took, what … 15 or so comments before that happened? Not bad!)”

    You got it.

    I don’t know if this is good, but only one, the rest of the commentators think htat everything is alright. statistics shows I’m wrong

  • "Womenated" = awesome.

  • I am SO telling my wife we’re womenated. I don’t even have to know what it means to know I like it.

  • Mmmmm, cookies. 😉

    What's your new book about, John?

  • Julia: Did I mention my new book in this post? Wow. I really need to start reading what I write. Anyway, it's about a 12-year-old boy. And, you know … stuff.

    Wickle: Man, I AM going to start a contest, or log, or something, of the best comments on this blog. This one goes to the top of the group, for sure. And since you've given this post such a sensitive read, I'll go ahead and say ( and am I right in kind of assuming no one really reads these comments? no one does, right? or do they? I have no idea) that the other thing I had in mind when writing this post is that I wanted to give some sense of the WHOLE of Anita's life and concerns. I wanted to give a sense of her a PERSON, instead of just as a lesbian. Straight people tend to find out that, say, someone's a lesbian, and then the ONLY thing they ever think about that person is that they have sex with women. The lesbian's sexual orientation becomes the entirety, basically, of how they're perceived. Okay, I have to blog about this now. Shoot. And here I was going to do some housework.

    arrrgghhh. ok. lemme do this. god bless you, brother.

  • RogerC

    John, I would go with G. However, I am curious what your motivation was in writing this blog. Would you like to share?

  • Wait. Was that a plant? Do I have my own blog SHILL?? SWEET!

  • RogerC

    I have always wanted to be a SHILL; maybe this is the beginning of a new career! Since I live in Arkansas, I will have to explain to everyone what I am.

  • Leonardo

    Wickle, I'm eager to read the new John's blog or the answer to RogerC.

    But what about a title like "Nothing Says Love Like a Woman With an Oven". But John honestly explains "I wanted to give a sense of her a PERSON, instead of just as a lesbian". So there's a theme there.

    My answer was basically give thanks and pray for her. Why pray? Because you feel compelled to look for who is this kind lady, and learn about her accomplishment in her, say, shape and; via pictures, delicious cookies, and the work in the community; inmediatly you feel,as a christian, concerned. There's a theme here.

  • Leonardo, I appreciate that you're being sincere. I do.

    I also think it's interesting that you seem to have detected a theme that runs through my life. I have no problem with that since all our lives follow a theme. However, knowing my life intimately as I do I'd suggest that if the theme of my life leads someone as a Christian to be concerned for me, then the theme they've arrived at is less about the realities of my life and God's faithfulness to me and more about a theme based solely on their theological commitments irrespective of my life. I'm just saying.

    So John….don't you think it's about time to post another controversial topic that has nothing to do with gays or goodies? Seriously Dude.

  • Oh, Anita. I am soooo … two posts ahead of you. Or behind you. Or something. (I'm STOKED about your upcoming online communion. Need to check if Cat's working, or what. But it's awesome.)

  • Thanks John….but just so you won't be disappointed, there will be no communion cookies; not even so much as a communion 'nilla wafer.

  • Leonardo … I just noticed that you had a problem with people who focused on cookies instead of berating Anita about the state of her soul.

    It’s possible that you missed the point of this post. This is, largely, a thank-you note that John has written to Anita. He did it publicly, because he’s that thankful and impressed. And, yes, to poke at a point. Basically, though, this is a thank-you note. I more or less intended to throw in a comment on little more than that, until I read more of the thread.

    You see, not every conversation needs to be about how much better and more godly I think I am than the people around me. It’s possible to say “thanks” without adding, “but you really ought to go to church more often and quit drinking” when my brother gives me a present.

  • ….. Wait. Anita sleeps with girls? Holy crap!

    And to think all I thought was minister lady, cookie baker, and healthy person. Not to mention interesting commentor. …I can see how I missed the lesbian part.

    I feel lied to. Or would if it was a big deal. Who made this a religious post by the way? Cause it’s not cool. They completely licked allll the cookies. I feel cheated. (only the middle paragraph is serious. for the record. Everything else is sarcasm….ish)

    Love the pictures Anita.

  • Papa

    Please take this in a loving manner: The Bible draws the lines for two types differently –

    Those that have Christian faith following God's word and those that have Christian religion following their own desires.

    Romans 1:18-32, Luke 13:22-28, etc.

  • Feed they neighbour as thou would feed thyself..

  • john

    i think that was a wonderful thing i would pick G it dont matter what u are its who are in christ They will know by your fruits. That was great gesture of sharing and thankfulness and appreciation. We all need to work on ourselves. Thank God that he sent his son for us.

  • AboundingJoy

    I'm hoping Anita begins to follow my blog and, in turn, sends me some cookies as well. I'll take a double portion of the snickerdoodles, please. 🙂

  • nicola

    Sad to say I would have done F when I know the right answer is G. Argh can I stop playing the devils' advocate! I really admire G people but I have the F syndrome.

  • Hebrews 13:16 – but do not forget to do good and to share, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased.

  • Anonymous

    OK – I’ll post here – whatEVER… my first inclination is “F” (but then I’m an iconoclast and tend to enjoy, a LITTLE too much, watching people squirm,) then after thinking about it, an resigned to “G” as the “right” thing to do. Screw the mailman. (Figuratively speaking).

  • Don Rappe

    I think it means that concealing your love really plays hell with it.

  • A’isha

    You rock, Anita!! John on the other hand, doesn’t even share…just posts pictures, making all the rest of us drool on our keyboards.

  • John

    I feel that I would be very tempted to give some to the neighbors. Watching the social dynamic change in the room would be highly entertaining to me. Alas… I would feel like an ass.