Ah, art. For when regular words can’t even come close to expressing the whole.
If you are a Christian who is offended by the video below, all I can say (and apologize for saying; I certainly grok the obnoxiousness of such a prescription) is please get out of the house more often. You owe it to yourself, your family, and certainly your relationship with God to go where some Actual Gay People are: to visit with some gay people, hang out with some gay people, get to know some gay people. And when you do that, prepare to above all be stunned and amazed by their radical, unbelievable, overwhelming normalcy.
The three stars of this video (who, I should perhaps hasten to add, are no more typical of gay people than a disco ball is typical of lightbulbs) don’t mean you any harm. They’re not crazy; they’re not (or certainly not as evidenced by this mondo camporrific extravaganza) immoral; they’re not seeking to turn your children gay. They’re having great time being funny and showing off their chops. That’s all they’re doing. And that’s enough. That’s more than enough.
If you can’t see this as the uncomplicated and delightfully ebullient celebration of brio that it is, then God help you. And I won’t apologize for saying that.
(Now, all that said, I do think that if honestly undertaken a valuable conversation might be had around those aspects of this video which it’s reasonable to guess might make some people to at least some degree uncomfortable: the raw language, perhaps, or the overt sexuality. If that’s a conversation any of you guys might like to have, let’s. )
Lyrics: *
Willam Belli….Detox…and Vicky…You might feel shamed
(You should feel shamed)
Detox: “You’re an abomination”
We might cross dress but that’s not what’s to blame
Willam: Making your coins but it’s all for food
We’ll do anything; we’re down for groups
After taking some dudes from behind
(Detox: “I’m a top!”)
All we want to score is chicken fried
Oh…
Some day somebody’s gonna make you wanna gobble up a waffle fry
But no, go, don’t ya know, Chick-Fil-A say you make the baby Jesus cry
Detox: “Baby who?”
Dudes with boobs, gay for pay – even dykes say “YAY!”
Chow down at Chick-Fil-A,
Chow down at Chick-Fil-A, even if you’re gay
Detox: “Even if you’re gay”
Chow down at Chick-Fil-A
Vicky: “I know what I want.”
Willam: Have it you’re way (Have it your way)
Detox: Yeah, take that [bad word]
BK, McD’s, Subway all taste the same
Willam: Preservatives!
You’re tired of eating meat that just went “moo”
Detox: “Moooo!”
Vicky: “Sorry ‘bout it!”
Willam: Taco Tuesday makes your butt spew (insert flatulence)
Vicky: “That’s gross.”
Willam: Please don’t sue us for libel, we just want a little meat without your Bible
Willam: Ooohoohoooohhh
Someday somebody’s gonna make you wanna gobble up a waffle fry
But no, go, don’t you know Chick-Fil-A say you make the Baby Jesus want to cry
Uhhhhh
Dudes with boobs, gay for pay, even dykes say “Yay!”
So chow down at Chick-Fil-A, Chow down at Chick-Fil-A
Even if you’re gay (Even if you’re gay)
Chow down at Chick-Fil-A
Willam: Chow down at Chick-Fil-A, don’t matter if you’re gay
Detox: Yeah. Doesn’t matter.
Willam: I said no mayonnaise. [bad word]!!!
Detox: God damn it.
Willam: Spicy fried chicken may burn
Oh I’ll sting-ring for days, but that chicken’s worth the pain
Detox: Yeah, yeah, yeah
Detox rap:
I see a rainbow and on the other side there was a bucket of Polynesian sauce for me to dip my nuggets in
Was it because I lived my life so gay I should not eat Chick-Fil-A – I’m gonna eat it anyway
(Vicky: Yes)
They say his promise is true
But what if you are a Jew? They need a kosher meal too, to bring their life to a new
(Vicky: What?)
Closed on Sundays too, it’s awful, now there’s tears in my eyes, no more waffle fries
(Vicky: Aw, man)
My only bleeding hope is for the fags that can’t cope, with the fact that they hate gays but the food is so dope
The chicken to blame, like shootin’ candy in you own vein, what a shame you don’t enjoy the chicken broiled by flame
You’ll get fisted but to eat there is delicious, when I’ve got an appetite – I ain’t got no pride
We queens are bottomless pits, forever in the drive thru. Honey mustard on my [female body part], all for me and none for you
Someday somebody’s gonna make you gobble up a waffle fry
But no, go, don’t you know Chick-Fil-A say you make the baby Jesus cry
(Vicky: No one cares.)
Dudes with boobs, gay for pay, even dykes say – YAY!
So chow down at Chick-Fil-A, chicken chow down, chicken chow down
Detox: I gonna eat up all this s***. That’s mine, that’s mine too.
Chicken chow down, baby!
Vicky: You don’t want to pass that sauce, girl.
Put it in your mouth!
Don’t matter if you’re gay, just chow down at Chick-Fil-A
Vicky: Bible thumpin’ b*****s!
Chicken chow down!
Vicky: You’re awful. I’ve had it!
* Thanks to Celebridyke.
Related/follow-up post: What drag queens taught this straight Christian guy.
Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In