Anyone whom I know out there in Cyberville feel that 7.2 earthquake that just happened (it’s 2:58 p.m. California time) in Baja California? Rocked our little piece of the world, I’m here to report. For a full 35 gottdang seconds. I was in the kitchen preparing my once-a-week martini, which apparently angered God. But, as it happens, I do like my martinis shaken, not stirred. Wait. Maybe God wasn’t angry that I was having a martini. Maybe he was trying... Read more
Happy Easter! Well, to ratchet that all back just a bit. Cuz, you know: manners, above all. (I actually believe that — which is … a whole other thing to bore you about some day.) (more…) Read more
So, let’s see. Monday, I’m scalp-deep in memories of my mother, due to a novel I’m writing. Tuesday, I discover my mother’s been dead for five years. Wednesday, I … can’t help but notice that I’m not exactly what you’d call depressed. And yesterday, I get an email from a woman at United Talent Agency asking about the availability of movie rights to my unfinished novel. Ho-hum. Another boring work week for me. (more…) Read more
Now that "24" has been canceled, I can't help but reflect upon all the important life lessons it's taught me. Here's ten of them. Read more
Hey, I forgot to tell you guys. (And I’m sure by now you’re getting a tad bored with this whole Mom thing; I promise I’ll stop writing about it now. I mean … after this.) (more…) Read more
APNewsBreak: Vatican cites sovereignty as defense in abuse case, says bishops aren’t employees. It’s begun, y’all. If you’re not already, start tracking what’s happening with the Vatican — or miss out on what I think is going to end up being one of the most cataclysmic stories in the 2,000 year history of the Christian church. It’s unbelievable, to think where this big, heavy, increasingly speeding train is going to end up. Read more
Last night I got a short email from the psychologist I just learned was married to my mom for 25 years. (See yesterday’s I Just Found Out My Mother Died — Five Years Ago.) As a sign-off , he wrote, “May this event serve as a healing in your life.” Wasn’t that kind of him? Sure, maybe not as kind as letting my sister and me know five years ago that our mother had passed away. (more…) Read more
I’ve seen my sister maybe twice in the last thirty years. She has four grown children. I’ve met her 28-year-old twin sons twice: once when they were infants, once when they were twelve. I saw their older sister once, when she was two. I’ve never met their younger brother, who’s now twenty-one. (Over the years I’ve sent the twins emails, and tried to FB-friend them — but, alas, they’ve never responded. Same with their sister. Their younger son did FB-friend... Read more
Bummer about this Tea Party rap group, THE WOLVERINES!, destroying rap forever. Catch how, right at the top of this gritty homage to the smug thug life, they refer to Obama as “boy.” Twice. And then there’s Molotov, the disgruntled gangsta baker. (“I used to be a pie baker. Look into my eyes. All you’ll see is pies.” OUCH.) And bringin’ it right home is second runner-up in the Sarah Palin look-alike contest, rapper Constitution Kate. Say, if I posted... Read more
This is the actual camel that sneezed on me (or for sure one of its relatives)! (If you’re just joining us, please see this morning’s Vendors Stiffed by Crystal Cathedral.) Doesn’t it just look like its nickname is Sneezy? I got this picture (which I’ve hereby borrowed totally without permission) from a current story in the Orange County Register, entitled Gala planned as church vendors went unpaid. Do check out the story, which features this passage: Schuller’s son-in-law Tim Milner... Read more
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