Perfectly Imperfect

Perfectly Imperfect May 23, 2023

Does anyone else have some messed up views?

Being taught one thing.

And now realizing…

It was all poppycock?

But the belief is deep.

And runs wild in your brain?

It can’t just be me.

But here I sit…

On my back porch.

Watching my thoughts.

They are going something like this…

I want people to like my book.

I want them to buy it.

Actually read it.

And then tell me they like it.

Oh no.

This is pride.

Pride comes before the fall.

And something about… God despising the proud.

You see, someone accused me the other day…

A stranger, of course…

Of “Just wanting to sell books.”

My spirit broke.

I felt weak.

Sick to my stomach.

Tears began to well up.

“I can’t do this, Kevin.”

“I’m not cut out for this author thing.”

“I just want to be a mom and grandma and forget about the book.”

“I would rather be safe than sorry.”

He smiled at me.

Like he does.

Told me to take some deep breaths.

Reminded me that it was ok to promote my book.

And then I remembered this story…

Our daughter was teenager.

She got to sing the national anthem at a Detroit Tiger’s game.

I know, right?

My dad was beside himself watching his granddaughter sing for his Tigers.

We all were.

Such a beautiful memory.

Later that year, one of my daughter’s youth leaders told her she had pride when she sang.

Again… she was thirteen.

The older woman told me I needed to watch out for a spirit of pride in her…

And that maybe my daughter wasn’t ready to use her gift.

She needed to learn humility first.


What do you do with that?

What did I do with that?

Well, thankfully, there were enough other older people around to say, “Poppycock!”

Can you imagine?

Telling a child they have to have perfect intentions before they do anything.

I mean… for real.

Oh wait…

I see where these thoughts are taking me.

Can you imagine?

Telling anyone they have to perfect intentions before they do anything.

Before they write a book?

Before they put it out there?

I guess we would have to wait a long time for anyone to do anything.

Don’t get me wrong…

I did a serious “self check” that day.

I actually do that on most days.

And I so often come up short.

I find good reasons to not do anything that would make me feel pride.

Stay low, Karen.

God wants you low.

God wants you small.


Maybe that isn’t true.

Maybe it is time for me to be ok with not being perfect.

And also be ok with people knowing I’m not.

Call it what is.



People pleasing.


All those things.

And I keep moving on.

I keep on keeping on.

Willing to be called out.

But, also leaning into my imperfectness.

My whole book is about being imperfect.

Perfectly imperfect.

Perfectly loved.

Just learning to believe it.

Oh… and here’s a link in case you want to read it.



Karen Shock’s love for writing began when she received her first diary as a young girl. The lock and key on it made it easy for her to tell the diary some honest, dramatic truths about herself. Even though Karen is now a fifty-three year old grandma, she still loves to put pen to paper and write out her deepest longings, wildest dreams, and biggest fears. The only difference now is there is no longer a lock and key on her thoughts. It’s just more like an open book. There are years of journals stacked in boxes, and in the last ten years she began to type out her feelings on social media. There was no way for her to know the impact these writings would have on the people who read them. As time went on, she began to understand that putting the truth out there for people might be scary, but the vulnerability was worth the risk. Letting the readers know they are not alone in their anxiety, depression, and big questions about God. The journey through a fear-based faith, systematic theology, purity culture, christian celebrity culture, and just an all-encompassing traumatic experience has led her into the depths of reformed evangelicalism and right back out of it … into a brighter, lighter freedom in Jesus. She has found her voice again by telling her story of going from a fear-based religion to being loved and accepted by a God who loves more than we could ever comprehend. Karen is currently a writer for Patheos and you can order her book on Amazon now - Too Much and Not Enough. You can read more about the author here.

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